


Welcome to the World

by DeepLittleSOB



Series: Lizzy-verse [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Family, Hunters & Hunting, Leviathan Castiel, Leviathans, Near Death, Pregnancy, Resurrection, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 20:05:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 62,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3582204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepLittleSOB/pseuds/DeepLittleSOB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been gearing up for this for so long.  The newest member of the Winchester family is about to arrive... but not all at like how they all expected.</p><p>This is the beginning of the Second Coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Sheriff in Town

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sixteenth story in my series.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own or have the rights to anything of the Supernatural universe. I am just playing in their sandbox.

* * *

"It's here, somewhere," Sam says as he looks around Samuel Campbell's office. He knows for sure there's an entrance to his secret stash of books somewhere, the stash most likely hiding the answer to the Mother of All problem they're experiencing. "I know it."

"Sam… please don't push it too much," Lizzy cuts in, very nervous about him prodding his memory at all. It always scares her. That wall in his brain has already proven to be faulty enough.

"I'm fine," Sam brushes her concern off. They need to figure out the key to ending the Mother of All and he knows their best chance is him finding Samuel's library. When his eye fall on the ugly floor rug under the metal desk, an item way out of place for a dingy warehouse, something clicks for him. He looks to Bobby. "Help me move this."

Sam and Bobby move Samuel's desk and lift the dusty rug, revealing a trapdoor.

"I'll be damned," Bobby says as Sam lifts the heavy door.

"Awesome," Lizzy says, looking down the ladder to the room below. "This place is like every awesome scary movie ever rolled in one."

"Yeah, making it totally not the place for you to be right now," Dean comments. He didn't want her coming with them for this trip. Yes, she made a great point that the warehouse is even safer than Bobby's with its insane wards but he just would have felt better if she'd stuck it out in the panic room for a few days instead.

"Baby," Lizzy calls to him and Dean looks her in the eye. "Shut up and help me down the ladder."

Dean made his way down to the hidden stash and helped support Lizzy on her way down the ladder, her pregnant stomach making the maneuver quite difficult.

"You pop right here right now and I swear I'm never talking to you again," Dean says as Lizzy's feet hit the concrete on the storage floor.

"I have another month, Dean. Relax."

"Have we met?" Dean jokes with a grumpy tone.

"Welcome to the Campbell family library," Sam says, sweeping a hand across the room once they all make it down there.

"So, Samuel collected all this stuff, huh?" Bobby says, completely impressed with the large stash of old books.

"Apparently," Sam answers, not completely remembering if this was everything he amassed on his own or not.

"Wow. All right, well, what are we looking for?" Dean asks to straighten out exactly what he needs to keep his eyes peeled for.

"Well, anything that'll put a run in the Octomom's stockings or can answer the secret behind our little Sammy's future," Bobby cautiously says, not mentioning Purgatory. Lizzy still doesn't know about the place and Lou's spot in it. Not the time. Her son needs to be safely born first. "Pick a row."

Lizzy commandeered the Sammy/Second Coming research, keeping herself in the section dedicated to religious lore of the Catholic variety, and the men focused on Eve.

After an hour and a half Bobby finally speaks up.

"Bingo," he looks up at the group. "Any of you jokers ever heard anything about a Phoenix?"

"River, Joaquin, or the giant flaming bird?" Dean questions.

"It says here that the ashes of a Phoenix can burn the mother."

"The mother?" Sam listens on. "We assuming that's our girl?"

"I would," Lizzy says with a smile from the corner, sitting uncomfortable in a metal folding chair. She's starting to think she's never going to feel comfortable again until her son decides to show up.

"Great," Dean says with hope. "Where do we get one?"

"You got me," says Bobby, still looking at his book. "I thought it was a myth."

"Alright," Sam nods. "Well, let's see if we can find something out about a Phoenix."

As they all look through their stacks of books again, Dean glances at his wife. She moves a little in her seat, wincing as she does. He immediately gets up to stand at her side.

"How you holding up?" he asks, eyes narrowed on her, telling her she better be honest with him.

"I'm a little uncomfortable," she lets him know. "But I'm always uncomfortable these days."

"You wanna go take walk or something? Move around a bit?"

"Actually, I need to pee…  _again_ ," she tells him, tired of having to go to the bathroom every five seconds. "I've been putting it off because I know it's gonna be a bitch getting back up that ladder."

"All you had to do was ask for help," Dean reminds her, smiling. He holds his hand out to her and she takes it.

"Because I'm  _so_  good at doing that," she jests, standing up with his help. "Oh my God, this kid is gonna kill me."

"You're fine," Dean brushes off as he knows how tough she really is.

"Dean, I'm wearing your boots because my feet are too fat to fit in my own," she reminds him, making her way to the ladder with him. "Our son loves to kick my bladder at least once an hour and waddling is my new form of transportation. I'm over it."

"Suck it up, momma," Bobby says offhandedly as he keeps reading, knowing she's just fine.

"Go fuck yourself, gramps," she grumpily bites back.

"Come on, L," Dean says to her once they reach the ladder. "I'll be right behind you."

* * *

Another two hours of reading after Lizzy's bathroom break and finally someone speaks up.

"Guys," Dean starts, eyes wide on the old journal in his hands when he reads the entry. "Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, check this out." The group looks to him as he reads from the book. "March 5, 1861. Sunrise, Wyoming. Gun killed a phoenix today. Left a pile of smoldering ash."

"Really!?" Sam asks and Dean nods. "Whose gun?"

"Colt's." Dean grins like a kid on Christmas.

"Colt's!?" Lizzy asks from her corner of the room.

"Colt like…" Sam starts and Dean finishes.

"Like  _the_  Colt. From..." Dean holds out the book's title page. "Samuel Colt's journal."

"What?!" Sam smiles like someone told him the next Harry Potter book came out today. "That's his?"

"Yeah," Dean says in a laugh as Lizzy gets up from her chair and makes her way over to them.

"Dude, no."

"Dude, yes."

Immediately grabbing for the journal out of sheer excitement and curiosity, Sam say, "Well, let me see it."

"Get your own," Dean snatches it right back like a big brother would.

"What else did he say about the phoenix?" Lizzy wonders, getting very intrigued by the find.

"What's it look like?" Bobby chimes right in. "Has it got feathers?"

"It just says 'phoenix'." Dean shrugs as he reads it over again.

"Did he say where he tracked it?" Bobby keeps prying, looking for anything helpful besides the fact that Colt encountered and killed a phoenix once.

"No."

"Alright, so… I guess we got to find one of our own, whatever it is," Sam suggests.

"Yeah, I mean if we know how to kill it we're already halfway there," Lizzy says.

"And I know where we can find one," Dean suddenly smirks. "March 5, 1861. Sunrise, Wyoming. We'll Star Trek 4 this bitch."

The three other people in the room just stare at him for a moment. Sam shrugs his shoulders.

"I only watched "Deep Space Nine," Bobby explains his loss.

"I'm an original series kinda gal myself," Lizzy says.

"It's like I don't even know you guys anymore… Star Trek 4? Save the whales?" Dean keeps trying but once more everyone keeps their blank faces. "We hop back in time, we join up with Samuel Colt, we hunt the Phoenix, and then we haul the ashes back home with us."

"Time travel?" Bobby asks with a little shock.

"Yeah."

"Piece of cake," Lizzy rolls her eyes and shakes her head no.

"We got a guy who can swing it," Dean reminds them as he stands up. He leans forward on the table they've been working at and closes his eyes. "Castiel. The, uh, fate of the world is in the balance. So, come on down here." Nothing happens and Dean looks to his wife. "A little help here?"

"I can try," she tells him and closes her eyes. "Come on, Cassie. We might have an answer to the Mother problem we're having. You mind I-Dream-of-Jeannie-ing your ass down here? Please?"

The usual flapping of wings is heard but the usual trench-coated angel they expected doesn't appear. Instead a blond female angel is standing in the middle of the room, her pantsuit crisp and clean as she scans over the humans in the room.

"Jeannie?" Dean question with a slight smile.

"Rachel," the angel answers. "I understand you need some assistance? How can I help you?"

The hunters all pause, not really trusting this random angel that has come to them randomly.

"Well, uh," Dean treads lightly. "We kind of need to talk to the Big Kahuna."

"I'm here on Castiel's behalf."

"Is he ok?" Lizzy instantly asks, fear in her stomach when her angel doesn't show.

"He is just fine, Elizabeth," Rachel answers, looking over her stomach and smiling slightly to see Heaven's own personal saving grace preparing to enter the world.

"Where is he?" Sam keeps questioning.

"Busy."

"Busy?" Dean asks with shock.

"Yes."

"Well, we've got a line on the Mother of Freaking Everything, so…" Dean starts to spell it out for her but the angel cuts him right off.

"I'm sure your issue's very important," Rachel says with slight sarcasm. "But Castiel is currently commanding an army, so…"

"So we get stuck with Miss Moneypenny," Dean digs when his patience gets tested.

"So you need to learn your place," Rachel fixes his comment, using a stern and outraged voice.

Dean's face grows dark. "Look, I don't know who you think you are…"

"I'm his friend," Rachel booms out.

"What, you think we're not?" Sam rebuts immediately. With all they've been through with Castiel they are certainly his friends.

"I think you call him when you need something. We're fighting a war."

"Rachel, we completely understand that," Lizzy assures her.

"Clearly you don't," she quickly rebuts. "Right now he is trying to save the future of your child against all prophesies…"

"And we are eternally grateful to him for that," Lizzy cuts in, not wanting to let this bitchy angel think so poorly of them. "And right now we need his help with something he himself asked us to look into."

"If you truly understood what he is up against right now you wouldn't call him every time you stub your toe, you petty, entitled little pieces…"

" _Rachel_."

In the center of the room, standing to the side of Rachel is suddenly Castiel. He could hear her and her demeanor towards his friends, his family, and it wasn't what he sent her there for.

"That's enough."

"I told you I'd take care of this,' Rachel says in a hard tone, not ready to give up the chance to open this group of humans' eyes.

"It's all right. You can go."

"You're staying?"

"Go. I'll come when I can."

With that, Rachel listens to her beloved leader and leaves the room.

"Wow," Dean immediately says with disgust. "Friend of yours?"

"Yes," Castiel answers with pride. "She's, uh, my lieutenant. She's...committed to the cause. Now, what do you need?"

"It's good to see you Cass," Lizzy says with a grin, getting up as best she can from her chair in the corner. When she takes too long Castiel marches to her and helps her up, his grip tight on her arm. "Thanks."

"It's very good to see you as well, Elizabeth," Castiel returns. "Though I do not like the idea that you are away from your home base."

"Don't bother, Cass. Already had this fight with her," Dean comments to mostly himself as he picks up Colt's journal, Sam and Bobby already using empty boxes they found lying around and filling them with valuable resources from the Campbell library.

"I'm sure that you did," Castiel says back to him. He then places his hands on Lizzy's very large stomach and takes an angelic look for himself. "Samuel is well."

"And fucking huge!" Lizzy complains a little. "I'm feeling ready to drop him now and still have a month to go." Right then Sammy gives her a good couple of kicks. "And there he goes again. The kid never gives me a rest."

"You were just like this," Castiel tells her, his hands still on her pregnant stomach as he absorbs the little savior's movements and he finds himself mesmerized by this. "Your mother complained very often that you were to be a handful based on how much you moved around before birth."

"I never knew that."

"There's a lot you don't know," Castiel tells her. "You also were talking far before the average human child."

"Shocker," Sam remarks from the other side of the room.

"Fuck you," Lizzy laughs a little.

"And you smiled all the time," Castiel recalls Lizzy's very first years. "You were happy. You hardly cried. Catherine used to brag quite often about your exemplary behavior and content disposition." Castiel takes his hands away and looks at her hard. "It was later in life that you became a handful."

"I liked to rebel a little in my teenage years," Lizzy plays it off.

"You certainly did…"

"Cass, we can catch up another time, hopefully soon, but we have some really good news."

"What's that?" Castiel wants to know.

"We got a way to kill The Mother of All," Dean tells him with pride, Colt's journal still tight in hand. "And we need your help."

* * *

"Where the hell's Dean?" Bobby asks with sheer impatience.

"Supply run, he said," Sam answers the best he can. "I don't know really what he's getting."

"Um, about your plan," Castiel pipes in as he looks to the room. Lizzy, Bobby, and Sam look back and wait. "You'll only have twenty-four hours."

"Wait, what?" Sam asks with panic. "Why?"

"Well, the answer to your question can best be expressed as a series of partial differential equations."

"Yeah…" Bobby can already tell the answer will be above all their heads. "Aim lower."

"The further back I send you, the harder it becomes to retrieve you. Twenty-four hours is all I can risk. If I don't pull you home within that time… you'll be lost to me."

"Then twenty-four is what they get," Lizzy jumps in here, the worry clear in her tone. "They can get this done in a day. Not a second more, right?" She looks to the hunters with expectation.

"Well, then we better get a watch," Dean jokes as he enters the room, two large shopping back in hand. "We'll be fine, Cass. We'll be ready in twenty-four with ashes in hand."

"What the hell's all that?" Bobby questions, spying the shopping bags and thinking how odd it is to see Dean holding them.

"We are going native," he answers with far too much excitement. "Got to blend in." He hands over one bag to Sam.

"Uh, no, thanks. I'm fine."

"Sam…"

"Dean, I can… I can wear this." Sam gestures to what he's currently wearing which is the usual button-down and jeans.

"And look like a spaceman!?" Dean points out.

"Sam, Dean makes a point in a way," Lizzy hates to admit. "If you show up like that you'll look nuts and you might need people on your side if you don't have much time."

"Look, just because Dean's obsessed with all that Wild West stuff…"

"No, I'm not," Dean rebuts with upset immediately.

"Baby," Lizzy starts and Dean looks at her. "You do kinda have a fetish."

"Fetish!?" he questions you. "I don't remember ever making you dress up like some cowgirl… although… shit, that'd be kinda awesome..."

"You  _are_  obsessed," Sam pulls him back into the now and agrees with Lizzy.

"Shut up. I like old movies."

"You can recite every Clint Eastwood movie ever made, line for line," Sam gives him proof of his obsession.

"Even the monkey movies?" Bobby asks Sam.

"Yeah. Especially the monkey movies."

"His name is Clyde," Dean says with pure annoyance. "At least wear the damn shirt."

Sam looks to Lizzy for help but in return she just shrugs, telling him it's a good deal if Dean only asks that he wear the shirt.

"Fine," Sam grumps like a kid and stomps unhappily up the stairs.

"Awesome," Dean quietly says to himself and follows Sam up.

Once they're gone Lizzy looks to Bobby. "They're gonna look stupid, aren't they?"

"Hun, go get your camera ready."

Fifteen minutes later and Sam is trudging down the stairs much in the way he went unhappily up them with his new clothes in hand.

"This is stupid," Sam complains as he walks into the room. He turns to Lizzy for help. "I look stupid."

She bites her lips together to stop the laugh. His crisp white shirt is embellished with stereotypical western design with bright yellow roses and he has a brown ten gallon hat in his hand.

"You going to a hoedown?" Bobby blurts out, not having been able to hold back.

And then Dean enters the room. Once Bobby and Lizzy have a second to register his entire ensemble, complete with sarape, they share a gut-busting laugh at the very same time.

Dean gets annoyed instantly and waits for the laughter to subside. Castiel gives him a funny look, his head tilting to the side as he studies.

"Now, is it… is it customary to wear a blanket?"

Lizzy has to wipe her eyes after that question.

"It's a sarape," Dean answers quickly, Lizzy giggling more as he shoots her a warning look. "And, yes. It's, uh... never mind. Let's just go." The big sack of gold watches, jewelry, and coins catches Dean's eye. "What's this?"

Bobby smiles. "Where you're goin', they don't take plastic."

Dean nods and gathers the bag in his hand.

"I'll send you back to March 4th," Castiel explains, ready to get them sent back so he can return to his battle in Heaven. "That should give you time to find the Colt... and this phoenix creature."

"Alright, well," Dean looks to Lizzy. "See ya' at high noon tomorrow." His face is lit up in sheer anticipation.

"Please focus and be careful," Lizzy walks to him and cups his jaw. "I know you're excited but just do the job and come home, ok?"

"Don't worry, ma'am," Dean jokes as he tips his cowboy hat at her. "I'll be back before you can say saloon girl."

"And stay away from the saloon girls!" she points at him. "I can only imagine the fantasies in your head. Control yourself."

"You got nothing to worry about, momma," Dean tells her, leaning forward and kissing her while placing a hand on her stomach, reminding her that he's only got eyes for one woman. "Take care of my boy."

"Bobby will be just fine," Lizzy says, punctuating her joke with a smirk.

"Idjit," Bobby remarks with hate.

"I love you," Lizzy tells him, one more kiss for the time-traveling road.

"Love you too, little lady," he says and winks. He then walks to stand next to Sam. "Let's do this Cass."

Castiel touches them on the forehead and they're gone.

Lizzy sighs immediately and looks to Bobby. "They should have learned how to ride horses before they left."

Bobby huffs a laugh and in just a few second Castiel returns.

"I have to go."

"Go!?" Lizzy asks as she can feel the panic coming on.

"Yes."

"What about getting the boys back?" Bobby questions quickly before he flies off.

"Pray for me in 24 hours," he says to Lizzy specifically. "Wherever I am I will always hear you and I'll return."

"Are you sure?" she asks with large worry. "You can't be late…"

"I will be here," Castiel promises. "Just pray for me." And he's gone.

"I'll pray for all of us," Bobby remarks as he sets a timer for exactly 24 hours.

"Just once…" Lizzy says with serious nerves. "Just one time I want something to be stressless and not leave me worrying that my son will be without a father."

"Has Dean let you down before?"

"No… but Cass has."

* * *

In the anxious silence of the study, Lizzy breaks the quiet with a deep sudden groan of pain.

"What's happening?" Bobby asks sharply, his head whipping up to look right at her with concern.

"Little fucker has his foot right on my ribs," Lizzy complains with a hand pressed to her lower left rib cage. "God damn, this kid must be freakin' huge. He keeps doing this to me."

"Moving?"

"Pressing against my organs," she complains as she gets up from the chair across from Bobby and walks to the cot. She lays down on her right side and massages her ribs. "I just have to get him to move. Ah. Come on, Sammy. Help me out here, buddy."

It's one of those moments that Bobby hates. It's so hard to see her in discomfort or pain yet there's not a damn thing he can do to make it better.

"Would it be so bad to just push him out now so he can stop destroying me from the inside out?"

"And I used to think you were the tough one of the group," Bobby huffs.

"Watch it or I'm gonna shove a watermelon up your ass and see how you like it."

"Violent… and gross," he comments to her just as they hear commotion happening in the kitchen.

"The hell was that?" she looks to him and she can see Bobby's eyes widely peering into the kitchen where she can't see.

"What the hell is going on?!" Bobby asks, seeing Castiel leaning onto hard onto the counter, the angel stumbling before falling onto the linoleum, his legs giving out. "Cass!?"

Bobby rushes to the kitchen and Lizzy ignores her pain to join him.

"Shit! Cass!" she shouts when she can see the rough shape he's in.

Without responding to her, Castiel reaches into his trench coat and draws a sigil on the kitchen cabinet with his blood-coated fingers.

"At least tell me if we're running or fighting?" Bobby gets nervous with Lizzy in the house for this.

Castiel finishes the sigil and sighs. He then tries to get to his feet and Bobby rushes to help him. He sways a bit once standing and Lizzy walks up to him. She cups his face to get him to focus his eyes on her.

"Cassie, what's happening? Do we need to run? Are angels coming?"

"Elizabeth," he sighs with happiness to see her. "We're…" he tries to answer her but he instead collapses into Bobby's arms with exhaustion.

"Balls," Bobby complains as he drags the angel's vessel over to the cot and drops him onto it.

"What do we do?" Lizzy wonders aloud, looking at the timer. Just under one hour left.

"Wait I guess," Bobby answers.

"What if he doesn't wake up in time?"

"He will," Bobby assures her with no confidence, opening his trench coat to see the stab wound in his chest. "Or I'll wake him up if I have to."

She doesn't bother saying it because she's tired of saying it, but she's once more scared shitless for her husband and brother's lives. She's so tired of this.

* * *

Twenty-eight minutes left on the clock and Castiel stirs in his blackout, his head rolling to the side as he eyes flutter open.

"Cassie!" Lizzy shouts immediately, having been sitting in one of the random wooden chairs around the house that she placed right in front of him. She hasn't taken her eyes off of the angel once since he showed up at Bobby's in the worst shape possible. "Hey, Cass! Wake up!"

Castiel focuses his sights on her when he hears her voice, his hand gripping hers tight when she takes it in concern for him. He then looks up at Bobby standing behind her.

"Cass, you…" Bobby begins as he looks over Castiel's wrecked form. "You look like you went 12 rounds with Truckasaurus. What happened?"

"I was, uh...I was betrayed," Castiel recalls, his mind clearing out the fog slowly. He sits up and shakes his head. "Rachel, uh...Raphael... He corrupted her. She turned on me."

"That fucking bitch," Lizzy grits with anger to hear that the rude angel would betray so easily.

"Sorry," Bobby adds in. "Girl's a real... peach."

"She's... dead," the angel tells them. "I... was wounded. I needed... safety. Thank you."

With that he tries to get up but falters immediately, coughing and groaning with the exertion of just that small movement.

"No way," Lizzy says to him and pushes him back down into the cot. "Sit still."

"What's with the finger painting, Cass?" Bobby questions, nodding to the sigil in blood on his kitchen cabinets.

"It's a warding symbol against angels."

"How bad are you hurt?" Lizzy asks in a worried and calm tone. She's worried about him.

"I'll heal," he brushes it off.

"Well, good," Bobby relieves. "'Cause we got less than an hour before you pick up the kids at Frontierland."

Glancing quickly at Lizzy before guiltily looking away, he says, "I can't."

"You can't?" Lizzy questions with an icy undertone.

"This fight... drained me."

"Well, if you're up on blocks, then call in another halo who can get the job done," Bobby suggests."

"I can't."

"Why not?" Lizzy asks, wide eyes about to head into full blown panic mode.

"I've just been betrayed by my lieutenant," he sharply explains. "I cannot just trust anyone with this task. Who could I trust now?"

"Well, there's got to be something that can juice you up," Bobby surmises. "A spell… something…"

"There is one thing that might work, but...It's extremely dangerous."

"What is it?" she asks, ready for an answer to take away her fears.

"I would need a soul."

"You going demon on us?" Bobby asks immediately. "You asking one of us to make another deal? Seal it with a kiss?"

"No, nothing like that. No deal needed. I'm not a demon."

"What then?"

"I need to touch a soul, sap its life force."

"Touch it?"

"The human soul… it's pure energy. If I can siphon some of that off, I, I might be able to bring Sam and Dean back."

"Let's do it then," Lizzy volunteers immediately. "What do I need to do?"

"Not you." Castiel gives her a strong look of warning.

"Why not!?" she asks loudly with frustration. "I'm a soul and then some nowadays. I probably have plenty of energy to share…"

"I will not do that to you and Samuel," Castiel loudly scolds. "You will be weakened and it could cause… complications. I will not be the reason for that happening."

"I need my family back…"

"And I will get them for you without the use of your and your son's souls."

"Guess I'm up at bat then," Bobby steps up. "And the catch is...?"

"Doing this is like...putting your hand in a nuclear reactor. I have to do it very gingerly."

"Or...?" Lizzy asks with new fear.

"Or Bobby'll explode."

The humans stay silent for a beat with the heaviness.

"Well. Keep both hands on the wheel. Let's do this."

Lizzy turns to Cass and points her finger at him harshly. "You explode Sammy's grandpa and I'll kill you."

"I'm just trying not to kill us all," Castiel says to them, taking his belt off his pants. "Bobby, sit down. Elizabeth, I suggest you tie him to a chair to prevent him from fighting back…"

* * *

The very sound of Bobby's screams through the leather of Castiel's belt makes Lizzy's eyes water. Her heart cracks into pieces to hear this man, the one she considers her father and savior over the past eight months, in such severe pain. She knows he's doing it for his boys and for her and Sammy but still, it just crushes her to hear it.

Standing behind him as Castiel plunges his hand straight into his stomach, the room illuminated by bright white light, Lizzy holds on tightly to Bobby's bound hands with her right one, his squeezing almost braking hers through his agony.

"Hang on, Bobby," Lizzy says into his ear as she wraps her free arm around his neck and hugs him in, her cheek pressed to his. "You're ok. You're doing this for the dumb asses. You're fine."

Lizzy watches with fear as Castiel's eyes light up bright blue when he's charged enough and he quickly pulls his hand from Bobby's stomach.

In one bright white flash Lizzy and Bobby both close their eyes. When it's done they hear the sound of thudding across the study floor.

Eyes quickly opening to see the source, they find Dean kneeling on the floor, an empty glass bottle in is hand, and Sam standing back in the kitchen watching.

"Oh thank God," Lizzy cheers to see them both back in their proper time. Without any more time to react happily Bobby's head lolls to the side lifelessly in her hold. "Shit. Bobby?" she calls to him, walking around his chair to get a good look at him. She holds his face up for him and makes him look at her. "You ok in there?"

"I'm a vision of perfection," his drained tone says to her.

"You're a wreck," she corrects for him and shouts to Sam as he's the one on his feet. "Sam, cut him free and help me!"

"What the hell happened here?" he questions as he runs to them, pulling a folding knife from his back pocket and getting to work.

"Long story," Lizzy says, concentrating on Bobby for the moment. Once he's cut free she moves to help him stand up. "Come on, big man."

"I'm fine," Bobby tries to refuse her assistance but the second he does he stumbles on his weakened feet.

"Sure you are," Lizzy sarcastically responds and walks him with Sam's help to his favorite place behind his desk. He drops heavily into the chair and rests his elbows onto the hard surface, his head in his hands. Now she's really worried about him. "You need anything?"

"Got everything right here," he grumbles and pours a heavy amount of whiskey into the nearest glass.

"Alright, what happened to him?" Dean asks Lizzy once he's standing as he eyes Bobby over before seeing Cass leaning against the wall with clear exhaustion. " _And_  him?"

"Cass ran into some trouble," Lizzy starts to explains, standing tall by Bobby's side. She rubs his back with reassurance with one hand and presses the other into her own painfully aching lower back. "He got hurt when one of his own turned on him and didn't have the juice to get you two back into our time. The only way to recharge his batteries enough was to touch a human soul and sap energy from it. They wouldn't let me do it."

"Damn straight they wouldn't," Dean comments as he walks to Castiel and helps him into the nearest chair. Once he looks comfortable enough Dean says to him, "I hate to say this, man… but you gotta send us back."

"Dean, look at him," Sam points out the shape the angel is in. "He's fried."

"I never want to do that again," comments Castiel, his voice low and weak.

The shape he's in worries Dean horribly, and not just concerning the angel. "Bobby, you…"

"I'm still kickin', Annie Oakley," he assures his kid. "Be back good as new in... a decade or two."

Lizzy looks down at him with sadness to see his shape. "I'm sorry you had to do that…"

"Better an' you doing it," he repeats the same sentiment they've all had. "I'll recover. Plus… we need your baby-daddy back in case you go early. You're huge."

"Jackass," she jokes and pulls him into her side with affection for all he just did for her.

"And for all your effort… we screwed the pooch," Dean says, holding up an empty bottle, no ashes in it. "Bobby, I'm sorry…."

Immediately there's a knock on the door. Everyone looks at each other with surprise and Sam heads to check it since he was the closest.

When he opens the door a delivery man asks, "Is there a Sam Winchester here?"

"Who's asking?"

"Look, this is nuts… me and a couple guys made a bet. So... this thing's been laying around the office since... _ever_. Uh, with a note on it saying to bring it here today. It's from a, a Samuel Colt?"

Sam's eye bug out of his head. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's… that's mine. Great. Thanks." Sam takes the package and closes the door. "Thanks."

Walking back into the study in shock, Sam sets the box down on Bobby's desk.

"What's that?" Lizzy questions as Sam unwraps the wooden boxy, sliding the top open and pulling out a handwritten note. Dean pulls his cowboy hat off and steps up next to his brother to see.

"Dear Sam," he reads. "I got this address and date off your thingamajig, and I thought the enclosed might come in handy." He holds up his now busted Blackberry. "Regards, Samuel Colt."

"Is that what I think it is?" Bobby questions when Sam picks up the glass bottle of ashes also packed away in the box.

"Ashes of a phoenix," Dean lights right up, his sour mood from his failure suddenly gone. "You know what this means?"

"Yeah," Bobby pipes in. "I didn't get a soulonoscopy for nothing."

"Yes," Dean rolls his eyes. "And... it means we take the fight to her." He looks at Sam with a smile. "We go kill that bitch."

Lizzy sighs with sheer relief when she hears those words. For the first time in, well, ever there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It isn't hell fire or an angel's grace this time either. It's freedom. It's the bright shining sun of a new day in which she and her family might be able to live without fear. It's hope that her son could lead a normal life. It's everything she's ever wanted on a silver platter… or rather in a glass bottle.

She presses a hand over her mouth with shock, hope, and just pain excitement and Dean glances at her, sharing that hopeful moment for exactly what it is.

"Right after I get out of these stupid clothes," Sam comments as he pulls the cowboy hat off of his head.

Lizzy laughs quietly at that before actually taking a good look at Dean's own clothing. "What happened to your blanket?"

"Sarape," he corrects for her as he walks over to her while putting his hat back on, Lizzy leaving Bobby's side to meet him in the middle of the room. He adjusts his lapels. "And I upgraded."

"I can see that," she says to him when she gets a good look at him after pressing a quick hello kiss to his lips. The tanned hat, the duster, the spurs… something in her changes right then. She's less concerned with Bobby's health and going after the Mother of All suddenly. Her moods are ever changing lately and so strong… and they just hit her once more like a sock full of quarters to the face. She brings her hands up to grab the lapels of his long duster-style overcoat. "I like this."

"Oh gross," Sam complains and heads up the stairs to change while avoiding the over-the-top couple about to take things in a direction he doesn't want to see.

"Shut up, Sam," Dean says without the punch he normally has. Instead his eyes are locked on Lizzy as she opens the coat a little to get a look.

"What's this?" she questions when she sees the gold star badge on his vest, her fingers running over the cold, roughed metal.

"Oh, you know," he nonchalantly starts to brush off as he lowers the brim of his hat at her. "Someone had to take control of the town once the phoenix killed the sheriff."

"Now I wish I had the energy to get the hell away from this," Bobby complains from his place behind his desk.

"You were only there for a day."

"I know."

"And you took over the job of sheriff of Sunrise?" Lizzy disbelieves as she looks up at him, eyes now hooded with a look Dean knows all too well.

"Sure did, pretty lady," he answers as Bobby groans with their display. "And you best watch your tone, boy," Dean jokes Bobby's way. "Don't make me take you in for disrupting the sheriff while he tries to talk to a beautiful girl such as her."

Lizzy laughs brightly before turning his face to look back at her. "Don't listen to him." She smirks with something behind it. "You look amazing."

"I do, don't I?" Dean proudly agrees.

"Yes," Lizzy answers, pulling him down to kiss her slowly with sheer desire before telling him, "And I don't think you're the only one with the fetish here."

"I'm about to get seriously laid, aren't I?" Dean asks with a true smile on his face.

Lizzy pulls him down closer, her lips to his ear. "Like you have no idea."

"Well alright!" Dean straightens up and grabs her hand while looking over at Bobby and Castiel. "Nice working with you guys. Thanks for the ride home and all. Rest up, you deserve it. I'll see you two tomorrow," he says in departure as Lizzy starts to yank him out of the room and up the stairs. "And whatever you hear up there…" he points upwards. "Just ignore it!"

They make it up the stairs, Lizzy giggling excitedly as they pass by the open door to the nursery where Sam's pulling on a comfortable old t-shirt. He just shakes his head with their behavior when the door to their room next to his slams shut.

"Animals," Sam comments to himself as he searches for a new, non-dusty pair of pants. He quickly changes into sweats and gets ready to sleep off the twenty-four hours of insanity he just had to endure. He's exhausted.

Flopping down onto the bed still in the baby's room, Sam lies on his back and closes his eyes. The day has been long and insane. He needs rest.

Through the walls of the old house he can hear Dean says something, what he can't make out as it's said quietly, but it's followed up with Lizzy' moaning out once and he's rethinking his choice in place for a nap.

_No, no, no… baby, don't. The hat stays on._

_Just the hat?_

_Mmhmm, just the hat._

"Gross…" Sam complains again and sighs, trying to muster the strength needed to get out of the comfortable bed in exchange for a less comfortable couch.

_You know, I almost forgot how kinky my girl can be with this whole knocked up thing._

_When you're looking like this I can't help myself. I'm just trying to thank the sheriff for saving the day._

"Uh, I hate them," Sam says to himself while pressing a pillow over his head and clamping it down over his ears.

_I did save the day, didn't I?_

_Oh yeah._

_How you gonna thank me?_

_You just lay back, baby. Relax. Let me show a true cowboy like you what a cowgirl like me can do in reverse._

"Nope. No fucking way," Sam declares as he tosses the pillow away quickly and bolts up out of his bed. He couldn't run fast enough to get himself away from those two right now. Fucking awful.

* * *

 


	2. Mister Cellophane

_**This is my take on the episode 'The Man Who Would Be King'.** _

* * *

 

"You're not like the rest of them," Sam pleads with the vampire he once knew as kind and safe. She and her nest weren't killers. They fed on animal blood.

"I'm exactly like them," Lenore tells him, her face dirty and worn as well as her clothes and whole overall demeanor. "I fed. I couldn't help it. The girl couldn't have been more than sixteen, Sam. I'll do it again. I can't stop, not anymore." She nearly begs for Sam to end it all for her once she's spilled Eve's location. "You have to. Please."

Sam, as well as the other hunters in the room, don't want this for her. "Lenore…"

Unable, or maybe unwilling, to wait any longer, Castiel steps between Sam and Lenore and presses a palm to Lenore's head. The bright, angelic light shines out of her eyes and mouth and her face flames out. He body drops lifeless to the floor.

"We needed to move this along," the angel says to them.

"Who  _are_  you?" Lizzy asks, afraid of Castiel's rash decision making in the situation.

"I don't understand…"

"Shit, Cass," Dean jumps in there. "She didn't need to die."

"She was a killer…"

"She was trusted," Sam fights back.

"What's up with you lately?" Dean questions the angel he used to think he knew. "You never show up when we pray and even if we need you in an emergency, like say if L gets taken, you still take your sweet ass time…"

"I am at  _war_ ," Castiel sternly points out.

"I get that, ok? But it's more than that, man. You're… you're…" Dean fails to explain. "You're not the same guy anymore. You're hell bent of revenge and killing Raphael, your lying… I mean, the Cass I know wouldn't kill like that, like you just did…."

Castiel glares at him for a moment while stepping up to the pigheaded hunter. "Maybe you don't enjoy my ways as of late because I am acting a little too much like you and it makes you uncomfortable to see it."

Dean doesn't have a response to this, shockingly. He just stares at Castiel for a moment with wide eyes.

"Prepare to leave," Castiel says to the group. "I can get us to the Mother when we are all ready. Elizabeth… you stay here."

"You don't say?" she sarcastically replies, knowing how sidelined she is already.

Castiel gives her an annoyed look before he trudges quickly up the basement stairs and disappears for the time being.

"You need to talk to him," Dean points at Lizzy very seriously.

"Me!?" she asks with surprise. "Why me!?"

Sam backs up his brother. "If he isn't even gonna listen to Dean then you're the only hope we have left. Something is up with him."

Lizzy sighs sadly. "Yeah, guys… he's a little off with all the stress he's under but remember this; he just saved my son's life a couple weeks ago, and mine while he was at it when that demon bitch took me…"

"And for how long did he ignore your prays before he showed?" Bobby challenges her, knowing it took a whole lot to get the angel to actually fly down to save her. "You have to see it too, Liz. I know you do."

"Of course I do," Lizzy admits stubbornly, having the hardest time of all of them coming to terms with the changes in Castiel. "I just… after his meddling leading to me getting pregnant and him withholding the info about Sammy's future…" She pressed her hands to her very large stomach with a morose feeling insider he chest. She knows they're right. "I just,  _just_  started trusting him again. And it took so much for me to be able to do that."

"We know this, ok? We do. But I want to be able to trust him with Sammy," Dean points out, standing by her side as always and doing what he can to get her head right on the topic of their angelic friend. "We need him, yes, but we need to  _trust_  him much more. You telling me that right now, if our son was here and something put him in danger that you'd hand him over to Cass without worry if it came to that?"

Lizzy thinks. She wants to trust him, she really does, but if she needed to give her little boy to someone she could trust outside of Bobby, Sam, and Dean she can't think of anyone or thing she'd be comfortable with right now.

"No," she answers, the word physically hurting to say. "Shit. No. I wouldn't."

"None of us can get him back if you can't," Dean points out. "We're gonna go get this done quick but after that you need to try and get through to him. He's holding out on us and this fight with Raphael is more than he's letting on. He'll listen to you, L. He loves you."

"I know," Lizzy answers, whipping her eyes with how upset this whole thing makes her. "I'm just scared that even I can't get through to him. And then what?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," Sam assures her. "For now we pack up and you get yourself nice and comfy down in the panic room." Sam pats her shoulder and smirks at her, knowing how much she's going to hate this.

"Yeah, you need to go tinkle you better do it now," Dean adds in. "I'm locking you in good before we go."

Lizzy nods in agreement as she takes a deep breath. She'll plan out her conversation with Castiel while she waits for them to return. It'll help pass the time.

* * *

Before leaving, Dean walks into the panic room to find Lizzy sitting on the uncomfortable wooden chair by the desk.

"You got everything you need?" he asks her, walking to stand next to her chair.

"Food, water, IPod dock, bible research… I think I got it all," she answers and smiles sadly up to him.

"Good," Dean smiles back to her before pulling over the only other wooden chair in the room and angles it towards before taking a seat. He looks at her with something warm as he takes her hands. "This is it, isn't it?"

"God, I hope so," Lizzy responds with desperate need. "If you kill her…"

"I'm done," Dean promises her. "When mom's gone, I'm retiring. So are you. And we leave."

The cheek breaking smile on her face couldn't stop itself from forming. She lets out one quiet laugh of sheer relief at the idea. "She's not gonna be easy to take down."

"I've dealt with worse," Dean makes light of it but he's well aware of how dangerous this hunt is. "I'll come back. I will."

Her hand on his cheek, her thumb rubbing over his stubble, she says, "You have to be back. I'm so not doing this without you." She then drops her other hand on her huge stomach.

"You won't have to," Dean vows again, resting a hand atop hers.

"Please be careful."

"Careful's my middle name."

"And bring back the uncle and grandpa while you're at it."

Dean leans forward and pressed a quick, innocent kiss to her lips. "You know I will."

"I love you so much," Lizzy tells him, once more getting choked up as the end of this pregnancy is just clobbering her emotional stability.

"I love you too, you know that," he responds in his usual way. "And don't do the crying thing, huh? You're killing me here."

"Sammy's not really giving me a choice," she laughs through her crying. "Just come home in once piece so we can have this kiddo in another month and then… have a life. A real one."

Dean smiles at her with genuine excitement. He's feeling good for once. He knows he can off the Mother. He will. And after… for once he sees that hope that Lizzy always has. He can feel it. Dean Winchester is a second away from having a real life and he's going to get it. His son will be happy, normal, and nothing but safe during his life on this fucked up Earth.

Leaning back over to her again, Dean holds the side of her face as he kisses her again, this time going slow and reminding her that he does love her just as much as he ever had, if not more.

"Stay in here and be safe," he has to say for his own piece of mind. He then surprised her as he ducks down and kiss her stomach once. "Keep an eye on your mom for me."

He then winks at her and heads out the door, stopping to glance at her one last time as he closes the vaulted door. He locks it on his side and she listens as he heads up the basement stairs.

Lizzy sighs as she takes her time getting out of the chair. She locks up on her side and takes a moment to herself.

This is it. It is. This is finally going to be the end for them. She smiles to herself before getting back to work, researching and digging through the books they took from Samuel's compound stash for an answer to her son's Second Coming future.

* * *

"Alright. Well, let's all take one," Dean says to the group and takes out the five shells he'd been able to make with the phoenix ash. "Load 'em up. Make 'em count."

The three hunters and one angel do just that, loading the special shells into their shotguns and sawed-offs in the middle of the destroyed sheriff's station. They have Mom's location after grilling the sheriff/Jefferson Starship and now it's time to sack up and go get her.

When Dean sets his gun down on the nearest desk and pulls out a knife, using it to pop open the fifth shell, Sam gets confused.

"What's this?" Sam nods and walks over to get a look.

"Call it insurance," Dean tells him, moving to grab a mug from next to the office coffee maker. He pulls his flask out and dumps roughly a shot's worth of whiskey into the mug and then adds the ashes. Swirling the contents together he looks at Sam with a smirk. "Won't that bitch be surprised when she tries to eat me, huh?"

He then goes to down the concoction but Sam swipes the mug from him quickly. Before Dean can react Sam slugs the shot back.

"Sam!" Dean calls out with fury. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"Uh, that's disgusting," he complains as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and coughs a few times.

"What the hell are you two up to?" Bobby questions as he watches on.

"I had a backup plan…" Dean starts to explain but Sam cuts him off.

"And you still do," Sam assures, tossing the mug aside, it thudding onto the carpet. "But I know you. You were gonna antagonize her into attacking you if it came down to that."

"So what!?"

"So you can't do that shit anymore, Dean!" Sam yells right back. "I'm not letting you put yourself in that position anymore. No fucking way."

"I'm just trying to protect you…"

"And you're protecting the wrong Sam, dumbass!" Sam yells at his brother for not getting it. He puts his hands on Dean's shoulders and makes him listen hard to what he has to say. "I can do this but if I go down in the fight then… that sucks but it, it's fine. You go down in this fight then Sammy grows up without a dad. I've been there, Dean. I never really had a mother. It sucked and I won't let that happen to my nephew. I'll be the one in the crosshairs if it comes down to that. You… you just need to survive this and then go home to your family."

Dean clenches his jaw, hating the idea that Sam could be on the receiving end of Eve's fury but he can't really fight the logic his little brother presents.

"I don't like it," Dean tells him.

"And I already drank the ashes so you have no choice in the matter anyways. Suck it up and accept it." Sam pats his brother on the shoulders twice before backing away. "And that tasted like shit so be thankful I took it for you."

"I just hope you don't regret that tomorrow," Bobby jokes to lighten up the mood in the room.

"Uh, me too," Sam says, hefting the weapons pack over his shoulder and retrieving his shotgun. "Shall we?"

* * *

"I have an offer to propose," Eve says to the brothers as she stands behind the diner counter wearing the image of their deceased mother. "Crowley."

"We roasted that little limey mook months ago," Dean tells her with certainty. "He's dead."

"Crowley's alive," Eve assures them both.

"That's impossible," Sam says with a deep fear.

"I see his face through the eyes of every child he strings up and skins. He's alive and I want him."

The Winchesters grow quiet as they consider this news. They saw the demon burn, saw Castiel do it. What the hell is going on here?

Eve keeps speaking once she lets it sink it. "As you know, Crowley's not so easy to find. So, here's the deal. You find him, bring him to me… I let you live."

"Pass," Dean punches out immediately.

"Dean…"

"Sam, no. The answer is no."

"You say that like you have another option," Eve points out to him.

"We've already done the evil bitch payroll thing this year. We're over it. The answer is no."

"Ok… how about this," Eve tries again with Dean sheer defiance. "You get me Crowley and I'll consider allowing the next generation of Winchester to be born at all."

The pale white color of Dean's face makes her realize that she got through to him this time.

"Yes, I know all about him, Dean. You're little bundle of joy. You'd be making your mother very proud if she were still around, you know."

"Fuck you," Dean angrily returns with the mention of both his son and his mother.

"Like I said," Eve smirks with Mary's face. "You have no choice."

"Maybe we do," Sam counters, knowing their backup is just outside the diner waiting.

"You think?" Eve patronizes them as a group of Starships bring Bobby and Castiel into the diner. No backup.

"Alright, look," Sam takes over at this point, choosing to speak over Dean for once. Dean has to make it out of this alive and well. "This year we have been jerked around by the King of Hell enough as it is. We don't work for demons and we certainly aren't about to start working for monsters. And if that means you gotta kill us… then I guess you'll have to kill us."

"Or… I turn you," Eve threatens. "And I send you after Elizabeth yourselves, let you kill her and that little boy she's carrying."

"No," Sam refuses again and pisses her right off, just like he'd hopes to.

In a blink Eve is standing behind Sam with a strong hold on his shoulders, her head next to his. Dean immediately tries to get up and help out of instinct but is restrained quickly by Starships.

Sam's shoulders tense up as one of the most powerful creatures they've ever come across stands so close to him.

"Don't test me," Eve says sternly into Sam's ear.

"Bite me," Sam counters angrily.

Eve chomps down on Sam's neck and within seconds she's coughing, wheezing, and struggling with the reaction she has to him.

"Phoenix ash," Dean smirks from his seat as he watches Eve turn back into the form of the girl she was in originally, no longer looking like their mother. "One shell, one ounce of whisky. Down the hatch."

A light shines from Eve's chest as she continues to choke. Dark liquid comes out of her mouth and nose. She falls to the ground and soon grows motionless as she dies.

The moment she's gone the Starships start attacking the three hunters and one angel in the room. Not missing a beat, Castiel holds out his arms and prepares to help out now that his powers are no longer bound with Eve's death.

"Shut your eyes!"

The bright white angelic blast shoots through the diner, ending the ordeal for them.

* * *

"So… you think she was telling the truth?" Sam cautiously asks the group as they pack up their stuff in the diner, ready to head back home.

"The truth about what?" Castiel questions.

"Eve," Dean answers him. "She said that Crowley's still kicking."

Castiel grows very nervous very suddenly. "But I burned his bones, how…?" He tries his best to act shocked. "Was she certain?"

"Sounded pretty sure," Dean nods, the weapons all packed and duffle over his shoulder. "According to her, Crowley's still waterboarding her kids somewhere."

"I don't understand," Castiel plays it off.

"Well, he is a crafty son of a bitch," Dean answers back, clearly thinking nothing of Castiel's confusion. He should be confused. Cass thought he killed Crowley.

Bobby and Sam both share a very worried glance but before they can interject anything Castiel zaps them back to Bobby's house.

"I'll look into this immediately," Castiel says to them and without warning transports them all back to the basement of Bobby's house before disappearing, leaving the three of them just outside the panic room door.

"Cass! Let us know what you find out!" Dean reminds the angel to keep them informed as he leaves them.

_Dean!?_

They all hear Lizzy calling out for him once she hears his voice yelling.

"Yeah!" Dean yells back to her as he heads instantly to the panic room door. "I'm opening up the door."

They hear Lizzy unlocking it from her side and soon enough the vault door is open again.

"Hey," she grins wide to see all three of her men on the other side. She immediately hugs Dean and sighs now that this ordeal is finally over. "Good to see you all in one piece."

"And it's good to see that you stayed in there like you should've," Dean tells her and kisses her in greeting. "I kinda half figured you'd somehow break out and I'd find you roaming the house or heading to use the real bathroom when we came back."

"I was tempted," she laughs a bit. "The chamber pot style of bathroom doesn't really appeal to me so much."

"Sorry about that," Dean apologizes for her exile.

It's then that they notice the odd body language of Sam and Bobby now on the other side of the basement as they speak quietly to one another.

"What's going on over there?" Dean asks, walking with Lizzy over to them with curiosity.

Bobby shoots Sam one more nervous look and starts in.

"Sam and I are… worried."

"What about?" Lizzy asks, her heart already heavy with fear. Maybe they aren't in the clear after all.

"It doesn't add up, Dean," Sam adds in. "We saw Cass off Crowley. He can 't be alive."

"Wait," Lizzy closes her eyes. "What's this about Crowley?"

"Mom said he's still stomping around," Dean tells her.

"He's  _alive_?" she shocks out.

"Supposedly. But if he is… then how  _did_  Crowley get away?" Bobby challenges. "I mean it's not like Cass to make mistakes like that. Unless…"

Dean starts to get irritated. "Unless what?"

"Unless he meant to."

"No!" Lizzy instantly denies what Bobby alludes to.

"I'm just saying think about it…"

"No! What you're saying is nuts," Lizzy angrily rebuts.

"Bobby, this is  _Cass_  we're talking about," Dean says with disbelief yet Bobby holds strong. He then turns to Sam. "Do you believe this?" His brother stays quiet. "Sam?"

Sam sighs. "Look it's probably nothing, it's just... you know what? You're right. It's, it's probably nothing." He wants to believe it as much as Lizzy and Dean do. He wishes he wasn't thinking this way.

"Dean?" Lizzy asks up to her husband, her hand now clutching his tightly. "You don't think he could have straight deceived you, do you?"

"No," Dean answers, his voice faltering a bit. Lizzy tells him with her expression that she heard it. "I mean, he has lied to us before but he wouldn't again. He'd be crazy to do that."

"And he's still trying so hard to prove himself to us," Lizzy further logics. "No fucking way would he lie about something so big."

"Yeah," Bobby nods and lets them keep this false sense of security. He and Sam know better but considering how Lizzy and Dean feel about the angel he treads very lightly on this one. But he'll keep his eye on the situation, a close one, because if that angel gets caught lying one more time he knows it'll devastate them… and he'll kill the angel for it.

* * *

 


	3. The Truth, It's Ugly

_**This is my take on the episode 'The Man Who Would Be King'.** _

* * *

 

"I got to tell you, Red..." Bobby nonchalantly speaks as he paces his study floor, the red-haired male demon tied a chair under the devil's trap. "For a filthy, lower-than-snake-spit Hell spawn, you seem to have turned yourself into a damn fine hunter. I don't know whether to kill you or kiss you."

"Oh, please, kill me," the demon responds easily enough.

"That was you that dug out that nest of vamps back in Swan Valley, wasn't it?"

"That was nice work," Sam commends the job well done.

"Eight of 'em in one go," Red brags. "Roped and tied."

"And then you brought them to Crowley, right?" Bobby pries. Ever since they knew Crowley was alive it's been a hard search. That bitch is still after Purgatory and they don't need him opening it. It's too damn dangerous.

"Read the papers, redneck," the demon name-calls. "The king is dead."

Bobby chuckles with the entertainment this demon gives him before tossing a fair amount of holy water onto him, it sizzling as the demon screams in agony.

"Crowley's alive," Bobby tells him. "You prove it just by being, you poor, dumb jackass. Crowley's alive. His nets are still out except now he's using you schmucks to hunt his monsters."

"Up yours," Red simply returns.

Bobby then casually holds his palm out to Sam who gives over Ruby's knife. They both hear the side door by the kitchen open and close and they know Dean's back.

"Red...Where's Crowley?" Bobby halfheartedly tries one last time and gets nothing in return. "No? Nothing? Oh, okay, then. Here, hang on to this for a bit."

He stabs the demon in the thigh. He screams with the pain and Sam and Bobby leave him there to deal with it as they group up in the kitchen.

"You get fucking scarier every day, you know that, right?" Lizzy tells him as she raids the refrigerator.

"I do what I can," Bobby explains away. "And you get dumber every day. There's a demon in the house. You should be downstairs…"

"Fuck off. I'm hungry," Lizzy tells him, pulling out a jar of pickle spears and popping it open.

"He makes a good point," Dean adds in.

She looks around the room at the three men staring at her with upset faces. "Oh, come on!" she complains, pickle in hand. "I can't live down there forever! He's tied down, I'm starving, so fuck off." She takes a huge bite of pickle and stands her ground.

"I saw Cass while I was out," Dean tells the group and moves on. They need to choose their battles with an eight-months-pregnant-Lizzy very carefully. "He popped in on me about two hours back."

"What'd you tell him?" Bobby wonders, knowing that their search for Crowley needs to be a quiet one.

"Nothing, alright?" Dean says with annoyance, hating this weird game of keep Cass in the dark they're playing. "Told him we were on some crap monster hunt. He doesn't know that we're getting close to Crowley." Dean pauses and shakes his head at his own behavior. "You know, he's our friend... and we are lying to him through our teeth."

"Dean…" Sam starts but gets cut off.

"So he burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked him."

"He's an angel," reminds Bobby.

"He is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven! He can make a mistake!"

"Nobody's saying nothing yet," Bobby tries to stay innocent.

"You're saying plenty if you ask me," Lizzy grumbles, in complete agreement with Dean. "You two already have him convicted and sentenced."

"And you're willing to let him walk with some pretty substantial evidence right in front of your face," Sam rebuts her.

"Substantial!?" Lizzy asks with outrage. "More like circumstantial!"

"Ok, enough with the legal jargon," Dean stops them where they are. "I just… how can you guys think that Cass is in with Crowley.  _Crowley_?"

"I'm just saying we don't know," Bobby tries to get a calm tone going. "Now, look, I hate myself for even thinking it… but I don't know."

Lizzy's posture straightens up a bit when she feels it. "Guys, maybe now's not the time to talk about this," she says with a mouthful of pickle.

"What's happening here?" Dean questions when he looks her body language over.

"I think Cass is coming… or I thought he was…" She looks around the room confused. "Shit. I swear I felt him coming in but… nothing. He never showed."

No, he did show. Castiel is in the kitchen listening to them already. He just chose to remain unseen.

"False alarm?" Dean asks her.

"I guess…" Lizzy answers, unsettled.

"Look, he's our friend, too, okay?" Sam keeps trying. "And I'd die for him. I would, but... look, I'm praying we're wrong here."

"Me too," Lizzy sadly says to that.

"But if Sam and I ain't... if there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here... that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side." Bobby sighs and scratches his beard. "Which means we've got to be cautious, we got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite."

"This makes you Lois Lane," Dean tells Sam.

"Shut up."

"One problem at a time here," Bobby regulates. "We got to find Crowley now, before the damn fool… does something damn foolish." He monitors his words to keep the whole Purgatory ordeal out of Lizzy's ears.

"Yeah, uh," Lizzy speaks up with her lack of understanding. "What exactly is it about Crowley that you're so damn afraid of right now? He gonna set off some nukes somewhere or something?"

"He's the King of Hell," Sam reminds her.

"Yeah, great," she rolls her eyes, another bite of pickle in her mouth. "And when he's gone there'll be another king… or queen. It doesn't stop. I say we let someone else deal with the dickhead and we get out now, while we can."

Everyone takes a deep breath, not sure what to say to that at first. Lizzy doesn't get to find out about Purgatory while pregnant. That kind of stress would be terrible for both her and the baby and they all know it.

"He's got a target on us," Dean blurts out.

"Since when?" Lizzy disbelieves.

"Since we tried to kill him," Sam supports the idea. "And since we worked for him and then ditched out of the deal when I got my soul back on our own."

"Crowley's probably got a shit list about a mile long and I'd bet dollars to donuts that anyone with the Winchester name is at the very top at this point, including little Sammy there," Bobby keeps going, ready to help them out.

"Shit," Lizzy complains as she grabs another pickle from the jar before looking up at her husband. "I knew marrying you was a fucking terrible idea."

"That just makes me lucky and you the dumbass." He grins playfully.

She punches his arm.

"Ow…"

"You deserved it."

"I never deserve it."

"Oh, what's that?" Lizzy pauses as she places a hand onto her stomach and acts like she's listening in. "Yeah… I know, baby… totally. And who has the right to say that to  _your_ mother!? Exactly!" She then looks back to Dean. "Sammy agrees. You suck and you deserved it."

"Already ganging up on me," Dean shakes his head but his smile gives him away.

"Damn straight. He's a momma's boy," Lizzy winks as she grabs her coat. "I'm gonna…  _take Cass for a walk_!"

Her dog sprints out of the living room and to her with a jump in his step, ready to head out for a moment.

The three men watch her go and once the door is shut Dean sighs.

"I can't keep track of what lie I'm telling who anymore…"

"One more month and you can tell her everything," Sam reminds. "Once Sammy's safely here and she's occupied by him you can tell her everything."

"I know… just tired of lies. I hate lying to her." Dean washes a hand down his face and peers at the demon in the other. "Need help finishing off the ginger?"

They all head into the study to finish up and hopefully get some leads on Crowley.

* * *

Outside in the cold air of February Lizzy tosses around a tennis ball with her much loved dog. It's been a while that she's found time to spend doing normal things like go outside to play with her pet but hey, life is what it is. She found that small window and she took it. Poor Cass has been so ignored lately.

Spying the cooler that Dean always stocks with beer when working on his car, she heads towards the side of the house. Once there she takes a seat on it with a little effort and Cass sits on his back legs in front of her.

"Aw, Cassie," she coos at him, scratching behind his ears as the dog pants and wags his tail happily. "I know it's been nuts. I never thought you'd have to deal with all this shit when we got you. I never would have taken you in if I knew we'd all be thrown back into it like this."

Cass just sniff out her stomach as always, his nose nudging her.

"You love him already, don't you?" she says to him. "Yeah, I love him too. And I can't wait for you two to meet. He's gonna love you, puppy."

She gets that feeling again, just like inside the house a little bit before. It's that feeling that Castiel is coming and just like before she doesn't see him anywhere.

"Cass!?" she calls out to the angel, making the dog react a little more to her. She grins warmly and pets his head some more. "Castiel? Are you here?"

It stays silent but she can't help but think that he's still around.

"Castiel… I swear… I know you're here," Lizzy says to him, confident that she's right. "If you are… just talk to me."

He decides it's worthless to try and sneak around her. He didn't hide himself as much as he should have around her. He got lazy after having been spying on them plenty lately.

"I'm here," Castiel confirms and lets himself be seen standing just ten feet away from her. "How are you?"

"Confused," Lizzy answers honestly but stays cautious with what she says to him.

"About?"

"Just… a lot of things in life." He walks over to her sitting there and Lizzy stands up.

"Anything… specific?" Castiel pries, looking to see if she'll be honest with him about what they have been up to, lying to him and searching for Crowley.

Lizzy takes a deep breath as she teeters on the edge of blurting it all out. As much as she wants to stop deceiving him and believe he's still innocent in all this the suspicion is strong enough to not.

"No," Lizzy lies right to his face as her hands come to her stomach. "But I think it's all just anxiety."

"You shouldn't worry yourself so much," Castiel tells her. "I am taking care of things for you. I will solve the issues currently plaguing us and…" he steps forward, his hand coming to her stomach as he checks her for about the hundredth time during her pregnancy. "Samuel is quite well. He'll be here soon and he will be just fine."

"Very soon, thankfully," Lizzy rolls her eyes. "I am so uncomfortable I just want this kid out already."

"Patience. I know it isn't one of your strong points…"

"Hey! Be nice to the very pregnant and very emotional lady, here!"

"But waiting the next few weeks out is optimal for Samuel's health. You're strong." Castiel places a hand on her shoulder and smiles. "You'll be ok."

"Will you be there?"

"Where?"

"When Sammy's born… will you be there?" Lizzy asks of him. "For some reason I get this weird feeling that… when he shows up it won't go as smoothly as I keep getting assured it will."

"What do you fear will happen?" Castiel grows concerned.

"I don't exactly know. I just feel… it'll be stressful. Maybe a little scary."

Castiel looks at her with confusion. "There's nothing in the prophecy that says Samuel's emergence into this world will be scary. I feel it is to be quite normal by current time's standards."

"Could you still be there? Please?" The way she looks at him with hope and need, a small smile on her lips with the question. "I would feel a whole lot better if you could be there."

Castiel gives her a lopsided grin. "Of course. I would never let you down."

"You wouldn't, would you?" Lizzy asks, feeling a hell of a lot better about the angel.

And he just stays quiet for a moment, the guilt of his actions behind her back crushing him a little more as she stands there just trying to believe in her angel.

"Never," Castiel promises. "Of all the things and beings in this world I've been watching over for millions of years… Elizabeth,  _you_  are what I care about. I've been by your side your whole life and I am certainly not leaving you now. I will not let you down. When Samuel's time comes… I will be with you."

"I knew it," Lizzy says, her eyes welling up as she hugs him with relief, her mind certain that he's not betraying them. "I knew it all along."

"Knew what?" he questions.

That you would never work with Crowley behind our backs, she wants to say to him but can't. "I knew you'd never let me down. Not again."

Castiel hugs her back awkwardly, thinking his guilt might just kill him now. No, he's done what he can to make her happy and make her life better and safe. Everything he's done, including lie and work with the enemy, has been for her. He's justified.

"You are the reason I'm still fighting," Castiel explains to her and backs away from the hug to look her in the eye, his hands on her shoulders. "I fight for you and for Samuel. You will have a good life if it kills me, I promise you that."

"Please don't get killed," Lizzy says pleadingly with tears falling as she lowers her lids. "I've lost enough. And you don't have to do anything, Cass. Just be there for us, that's it."

"Raphael…"

"You're whole battle with him means nothing if you die." Lizzy looks at him with all seriousness. "You're my family and I'm done burying my family. I won't bury you too."

And now Castiel can understand why Dean carries so much guilt around all the time. Lizzy can lay it on thick.

Looking down at his wingtips he sighs. "You remain just as difficult as you were as a child. Now I just hope you someday know how I feel through Samuel."

Lizzy smirks at him.

"I will be there," Castiel promises again. "Don't worry so much."

"Thank you, Cassie," Lizzy says to him and wipes her eyes. "And it's not just because you can help. I just want you there. I want you to meet Sammy… I want him to know you right from the beginning, like I did."

He has to leave. Castiel can't keep this up. The more she says and spills about their bond the more he just wants to be honest with her. He can't do this.

"If you need me… you know how to reach me."

Castiel disappears, leaving Lizzy out in the silent and crisp winter air with just her dog. With much bafflement the dog paces the space the angel just disappeared from.

"Confusing, isn't it?" Lizzy says to him and claps her hands twice. Cass comes to her and sits on the ground at her feet. "Don't think about it too hard." She scratches his head. "I've known him forever and I still don't really understand him."

She laughs to herself as she stands up.

"Come on, pooch!" she says to her dog. "I'm starving and it's time to feed you."

* * *

Ellsworth's hideout wasn't more than a state over but it still was going to take at least a day and a half to get there and do what they needed to do. Two days in and Lizzy isn't ready for yet more time in exile. She's ready to leave the panic room.

It's become her lot in life to reside in an iron and salt prison and now she has to wonder what it'll look like when Sammy arrives. Will the two of them live their lives in panic rooms forever? Or will they get out for good? Too many problems remain unsolved and thinking about them never made anything clearer or feel any better.

Lying in the cot in the room after having taken a random nap, she can hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Finally," she says to herself as Dean bangs his fist into the metal door three times.

"Marco?" Lizzy asks and gets up off the cart.

"Polo," she hears him respond and she smiles. Two days of solitary was long enough. She unlocks the door on her side as Dean does the same on the other side. Dean opens the door and she smiles warmly to see him.

"Hi."

"Hey," Dean responds, his tone cold as his eyes dart around the room and avoid her.

"Ok, thought you'd be happier to see me…"

"Sit down," Dean tells her and points to the cot. "We need to talk."

"What the fuck happened?"

"Just sit down," Dean tells her, a hand nervously washing down his face.

Seeing how fucked up her husband is after his trip to get Intel on Crowley she gets worried. She sits on the cot and watches him take a seat next to her. It's when he pulls one of her hands into his lap and holds tightly, very tightly, that she grows fearful.

"What happened out there?" Lizzy asks, eyes wide on his with his mannerisms.

She can see the struggle within him to actually say it, the wait for him to speak killing her.

"He's in bed with Crowley."

Stabbing in the heart. She knows how that would feel now. It's all she can feel. Just sheer, harsh pain in her chest.

"No he isn't," Lizzy denies right away.

"He is. We know it."

"You're wrong," she asserts and pulls her hand back from him.

"I wish I was wrong," Dean's voice trails off. "But we know for sure. And now we're gonna force him to have a chat with us and I want you there."

Lizzy stares at the concrete ground below her while this whole idea settles in.

"He's been listening in on us," Dean continues, his tone filled with sadness and complete let-down.

"How could you possibly…?"

"He repeated something Bobby said in the kitchen a few days ago while we were trying to get that demon to talk. He said it word for word and he didn't even know he did it."

"Fuck me," Lizzy whispers out and presses a hand over her mouth with the sudden realization.

"What?"

"Remember? I felt him there," Lizzy explains. "I said I thought he was about to show up and he didn't. I was wrong. He was there, eavesdropping while keeping us from seeing him. Oh my God. How many times do you think he's done that before?"

Lizzy looks to him with a lost expression.

"I don't even wanna think about that."

Taking the time to let this sink in for Lizzy, Dean sits quietly. He leans over, his head in his hands with his elbows propped on his knees, and still has a hard time accepting everything himself. He heard it from Castiel's own mouth that he's been lying and deceiving them. ' _Superman going to the dark side. I'm still just Castiel_.' Dean will never forget the angel's voice saying those very words to him, lying through his teeth. Not since Sam went off with Ruby has he felt the disappointment and the devastation of broken trust quite like this. Castiel was his friend, his brother….

But more than anything Cass has been the one and only constant Lizzy has left in her life. He's been there from the beginning, the very day she was brought into this world. Her parents, her sister… they're gone. But Castiel never left her. And now Dean has to tell her that the only thing she has left outside of himself, Sam and Bobby has been dishonest to the point of no return.

"This can't be right," Lizzy tells him in still-running denial. "Just because he spied on us doesn't mean he's in with the King of Hell."

"L, I'm sorry. I don't want to believe it either but… but the bastard's been lying to us."

"Then I want to hear it from  _his_  mouth." Her serious tone tells him she needs to hear it for herself to truly believe it, much like Dean did.

Dean nods and stands up, reaching a hand out to help her. "Come on. We're gonna call for him and we want answers. He'll probably be more honest if you're there anyways."

Following him, Dean leads her hand-in-hand to the warehouse behind Bobby's house. Once inside she sees Sam stashing a clay jar of holy oil into a duffle and she understand the plan immediately. When they see her, both Bobby and Sam nod her way and don't say anything. They know how hard this is on her and they're both at a loss as to what to say.

Standing her in the middle of the room, Dean lets go of her hand. He turns to her and says, "Make the call."

He walks away and takes up a spot leaning against an old van. Lizzy makes scared and meek eye contact with Dean and just nods sadly. She then looks around herself in the old, stocked with junk warehouse. All three stare at her and wait.

She feels like it's her versus the men in her life on this one. How could they be so sure, after all he promised to her just two days before, that Cass could be so deceitful? She wants them to be wrong so badly.

"Cass?" Lizzy says out into the air. She closes her eyes to feel him out, his location far. Most likely Heaven. "Castiel, I really need to talk to you. We need some information that only you can give us. Please?"

"Hello."

Lizzy smiles small when she sees him standing just a few feet in front on her.

"Oh, Johnny on the spot," Bobby sarcastically comments but Lizzy ignores him. She walks quickly to cover the space between them and hugs Castiel tightly, her arms around his neck before the bad news she most likely is about to hear makes her never able to do this again.

"I still love you," she whispers to him while in full blown denial. "But I need to prove them wrong."

"What do you mean?" he asks her, backing away to peer at her with a very confused face.

"I'm so sorry, Cassie," she says, her voice already choked up as she walks swiftly out of the circle and Dean drops his lit Zippo onto the holy oil circle Castiel didn't see.

"What are you doing?" the angel asks with high alarm, the flames burning bright and trapping him in place.

"We gotta talk," Dean tells him.

"About what? Let me go!"

"About Superman," Dean explains and Castiel's face drops as he realizes the slipup he made. "And Kryptonite."

"How'd you know what I said in my own kitchen a few days ago?" Bobby grills immediately. "You weren't here so…"

"How long you been watching us?" Dean cuts to the chase.

Castiel doesn't answer, just looks to Lizzy for help. She shakes her head no, telling him he has to answer them and she can't help him get out of this.

"You know who spies on people, Cass? Spies!" accuses Dean when he gets tired of waiting for an answer.

"Okay, just wait," Castiel holds his hands out and scours his brain for an explanation. Nothing's forming. "I don't even know what you mean…"

"What about that demon crap-hole we found, the one with not a demon in sight?" Sam tacks on. "How was it so, uh... 'next to godliness' clean in there by the time we arrived? With no Ellsworth to be found."

Bobby jumps back in. "And how exactly did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones? How does an angel mistaken the bones of a powerful demon when trying to off him?"

"It's hard to understand," Castiel swallow hard, knowing he's screwed. "It's hard to explain. Just let me go. Let me out and I can…"

"You got to look at me, man," Dean asks him from the bottom of his soul for honesty. He pushes off the van he'd been leaning on and walks right up to the edge of the flaming circle. "You got to level with me and tell me what's going on. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley."

Castiel tries to hold eye contact but can't when the burden of his actions outweighs his will.

"Cass?" Lizzy says his name, horrified by the silent confession.

"You son of a bitch," Dean calls with the sheer crushing misfortune of it all.

"Let me explain."

"You're in it with him?" Dean asks with sheer audacity. "You and Crowley have been working side-by-side? You have, huh? This whole time?"

"I did it to protect you," Castiel claims, looking right at Lizzy when he adds on, "I did it to protect all of you."

"So you go and try to opening up Purgatory with the King of Hell!?" Dean yells, forgetting who's in the room with him as his ire takes hold.

"And protect us how?" Sam challenges. "How does opening a hole into monster-land help keep any of us safe!?"

"He's right, Cass," Bobby backs his boys up. "One drop got through and it was Eve. And you want to break down the entire dam?"

"To get the souls, not unleash Purgatory," Castiel explains his plan. "I can stop Raphael. Please, you have to trust me."

"Trust you?!" Sam disbelieves. "How in the hell are we supposed to trust you now?"

"STOP!"

The entire room turns all at once to Lizzy as she stands by, her hands balled up by her sides as her eyes are as big as golf balls.

"Monster-land?" Lizzy questions all of them. "Souls? And… and  _Purgatory_? What the hell is everyone talking about?"

It's silent.

"What haven't you all been telling me!?" And she turns to Castiel. "And what the fuck have you been trying to do with Crowley and…  _Purgatory…_  without telling us!?"

"We were just being cautious with your health by not telling you," Dean bites the bullet and very kindly tries to explain his own omission. "It's a real place, Purgatory, and there are the souls of the dead stuck there…"

"And if I can gain access to these souls then I can defeat Raphael," Castiel finishes as both do their best to avoid the whole truth about the place.

"Access… uh, I'm so lost here," Lizzy tells them.

"We didn't want to worry you anymore than you already are about everything," Dean calmly explains. "Once Sammy was here we were gonna explain it all."

"So… you thought that there being a Heaven, a Hell,  _and_  a Purgatory would change my life so much it would put my life and my son's life in danger?" she questions without understanding. "I smell a whole heap of bullshit…"

"They feared that you're understanding of what Purgatory is would unnerve you and drive you to do something irrational," Castiel jumps in. "Purgatory…"

"Cass!" Dean shouts at the angel about to tell her everything. He fought so hard to keep this from her.

Castiel sighs. "I have been lying to you all for so long. No more lies, Dean. You want the truth so I am going to give it, all of it, if you don't."

Dean grits his teeth and tries to slow the boiling anger. Sam clears his throat and steps in there, preferring he say it over the deceitful angel in the room. It's best coming from him anyways.

"Lizzy," Sam starts as he walks over to her. "Uh, Purgatory is where all monsters and creatures and anything evil goes when it dies."

"Oh, well… now I get the monster-land thing," Lizzy logics but the whole meaning doesn't hit.

"You're not seeing the whole picture," Sam keeps going. "All the bad shit we kill gets dumped into this land of terrible together. So when we kill a werewolf its soul gets banished to Purgatory. Same with ghouls and wraiths and rugarus… and vampires."

The face she makes could never be fully described by him when it clicks with her. He never wants to see that on her again. She inhales once and holds it, her brain struggling to function after this.

"Lou?" she asks, her sights turning to Castiel. "This is why you always said she was never around, never could hear me? Because she was in Purgatory?"

"Yes," Castiel answers. "I tried to make an exception for her, get her soul to Heaven where it belongs… but…"

"She's… um, she's shoved into a place with nothing but monsters?" Lizzy keeps questioning, the anger not quite getting there yet.

"We didn't want you to know yet because you've been through enough with the pregnancy as it is," Dean tries to tell her, his tone apologetic and sad. "Once Sammy was born we were gonna let you know, I swear. L, I need you to take this one in stride, ok? No going off the deep end."

Lizzy nods and looks to the floor, her brain working its way through her revelation. After a moment she looks up to Castiel. "You said you wanted the souls of Purgatory."

"I need them to give me the power to stop Raphael…"

"What do you do with them?"

He doesn't know how to answer this.

" _What do you do with them_?" Lizzy asks, stepping closer to him when that anger finally hits.

"I will just be borrowing their potential," Castiel tries to explain. "I will then return every soul back to where it came from."

"So you plan to  _use_  Lou? Use her power and crap her right back out into Purgatory? Are you fucking serious!?"

"With Lou I don't plan to…"

"Fuck you!" Lizzy says within a sob, not needing to hear any more from him. "How the fuck could you do that to her!?"

"No, let me explain," Castiel keeps trying, knowing she wouldn't hate what he has to say. "Concerning Lou…"

"Stop it!" Lizzy asks of him. "Just… don't fucking talk about her. Don't even say her name. You know what she means to me and Sam."

"She's right," Sam agrees with Lizzy completely. "The fact that you're willing to do this, knowing where Lou is, just proves that none of us matter to you anymore, Cass. You wouldn't do this if you cared."

"I don't even know who the hell you are anymore," Lizzy adds in for good measure.

"No, no. I'm still me," Castiel promises desperately and turns to Sam. "I'm still your friend. Sam... I'm the one who raised you from Perdition."

Every human in the room takes a step back at this news.

"Crowley said…" Dean starts to rebut.

"Crowley lies," Castiel cuts him off.

"Well that sucks," Lizzy interjects. "Because right now I don't see any difference between you and that evil fuckhead."

"I did it for all of you!" Castiel can't believe how ungrateful they are. "I did it because without Sam you two were a mess. And Sam…" He looks once more to the hunter. "I saved you from the Cage…"

"Well, no offense... but you did a pretty piss-poor job of it," Sam angrily returns, knowing his wall is cracking and well aware of all he did as a soulless, incomplete person for a year. And then it dawns on him. "Wait. Did you bring me back soulless... on purpose?"

"How could you think that?" Castiel asks, horrified by the question. He would never.

"Well, I'm thinking a lot of things right now, Cass."

"Listen. Raphael will kill us all," the angel returns to the topic of all this confusion and hatred. There is a good reason for all his betrayal and secrecy. "He'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice."

"No, you had a choice," Dean says, sure of it. "You just made the wrong one."

"You don't understand. It's complicated…."

"No, actually, it's not, and you know that," Dean keeps right on fighting him. "Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it. Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil!"

"It sounds so simple when you say it like that," Castiel realizes for the first time. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?"

"I was there."

Castiel remembers that it's true. Dean was there. So was Lizzy. He came to them, prepared after much contemplating to ask for their assistance in ending Raphael. But then he saw them. They were out on a baseball diamond just a block from their apartment in Massachusetts. Together they were playing with the dog they love so much, the one they named after him, both of them smiling as they tossed around a tennis ball. They were happy against all odds and he just didn't have it in him to bring them back into the world they'd finally left. When Crowley showed up to give him another way to fight Raphael, one that left Lizzy and Dean to live their lives peacefully… he took it.

"Where were you?" Dean asks him, knowing he would have helped his friend the second he asked for it. "You should've come to us for help, Cass."

"Maybe…"

"No maybe," Lizzy sternly tells him. "You have helped us out, saved our lives, so many times that we owe you. We owe you everything. Why wouldn't you just assume we'd be there for you?"

Castiel once more has no answer for them.

"Nothing to say to that?" Dean questions.

"Maybe it's best he doesn't say anything at all," Bobby comments with anger. "Seems he's forgotten how to speak the truth."

"Why?" Lizzy asks the angel as he stands there hopelessly. "After lying about Sammy and letting me get pregnant and his whole destiny… why would you keep lying? I was just starting to trust you again…"

"And it kills me that I have let you down once more when I said I never would do that again." Castiel looks straight at her and no one else in the room. "I told you… nothing matters more to me than you and Samuel's safety. All I was trying to do was give you both a good life."

"Haven't you learned that lying to us won't make that happen?" Lizzy asks. "What you're trying to do is take all the souls in Purgatory and use them. You're the one that told me a soul,  _one_  soul, is like a nuclear reactor. What will this do to you!?"

"I will be fine…"

"Famous last words of every dead hunter out there. And don't say you'll be fine because you're an angel. Angel or not you are risking your life in such a stupid, dangerous way…"

"I know what I am doing!" Castiel booms out and makes Lizzy take a step back. "You all think I'm this bumbling idiot. I'm not. I am an angel of Heaven, a warrior, which you all seemed to have forgotten. I have a plan, I know what I am doing, and I am doing this for you. Maybe instead of trap me and berate me you should be thanking me."

"You open Purgatory and use Lou's soul for this battle… and I won't be thanking you," Lizzy assures. "I'm not too sure I'll ever be able to even  _look_  at you again."

"Elizabeth…" Castiel starts, the pain from her words thick and deep.

"No! Don't bother trying to talk me into…"

With the sudden sound of harsh wind everyone is put on high alert. Looking out from the top windows of the warehouse they can see the black smoke of demons approaching quickly.

"It's too late now," Castiel tells them in a panic. "I can't turn back now. I can't."

"It's not too late!" Lizzy shouts at him over the growing sound of wind.

"Damn it, Cass! We can fix this!" Dean pleads with him, desperate to get him back on the right track.

"Dean, it's not broken!" Castiel answers back and looks right at Lizzy. "Run. You have to run now! Keep Samuel safe! Run!"

They leave the building in a rush and head for the panic room, Dean with his arm linked in Lizzy's as he pulls her along faster since her speed these days is not what it used to be. He keeps Ruby's knife in his hand at all times, eyes darting around the yard while the cloud descends upon the warehouse.

And as Lizzy runs all she can think about is how it already feels like she's mourning the loss of a good friend.

* * *

In the panic room all four hunters wait out the demonic attack in silence. All that just happened and all that's just been revealed is simply too much for any human to process so without word is how they pass the time.

But more than anything the men in the room are seriously worried about Lizzy.

The second they locked themselves in she sat curled up in the corner of the wall-mounted cot, her legs tucked under her and her arms around her large stomach as she sits staring off into space. Her eyes see nothing as her brain attempts to process everything she's just discovered.

Castiel is a liar. He's putting the world and his life at risk for a war she's not sure he even has to fight. Lou is in Purgatory. She's in monster hell and there's nothing she can do about it. Castiel will be using Lou's soul for his cause. She may never see the angel again and he may destroy what little there is left existing of her best friend and sister.

Sitting next to her for a long while now, his hand always resting on top of one of hers, Dean's yet to get through to her. She's just refusing to listen to him, or maybe she's unable to, and the catatonic state she's stuck in frightens him. Lizzy always is the reactionary one. She screams, she punches, she blows up and threatens the well-being of all those around her… but not this time. When she's still and quiet is when he worries the most.

A half an hour of nothing from Lizzy and Sam steps up. He walks to stand in front of Dean and wordlessly asks him to move and give him a chance with the nudge of his head. With nothing to lose Dean gets up and walks to the other side of the panic room, leaning his back against the metal wall while keeping an eye on Lizzy at all times.

This is not just about Castiel for Lizzy. It's about Lou too, Sam knows that, and he is the only one that can get through to Lizzy when concerning Lou.

Sam sits down slowly, watching for Lizzy's reaction to the change. Usually she does best when this close to Dean so he hopes he doesn't upset or unnerve her. Instead of react poorly she plain doesn't react at all to him so he moves over closer to her, his hand on her shoulder.

"Lizzy?" he calls out to her quietly and she blinks once, her eyes still far away. "It's ok for this to suck."

"You should have told me," she whispers to just him, wishing that Sam had been the one to break it to her.

"I was too scared to," Sam says, his hand now dropping lightly onto her pregnant stomach. "I want my nephew healthy, just like my sister-in-law. That kind of stress wouldn't have been good for either of you."

Lizzy's eyes well up. "I want her back. She shouldn't be stuck there. I don't want her there."

"None of us do," Sam easily returns with. "But she's there and there's nothing we can do about it."

"Cass is looking for a way in…"

"Don't," Sam shakes his head no. "You know we can't open that door. You know that if we did that this world will be flooded with so many monsters we'd never be able to retire. And we'd never be safe again, neither would the rest of the world…"

"I just want her home," Lizzy sobs out, finally showing real emotion.

Sam nods his head and takes a deep breath as he pulls her into himself, her face burying into his jacket as she gives in and cries.

"I'd give anything to get her back," Sam whispers to just her, keeping Bobby and Dean out of this one if he can even if he can feel their eyes on him. "You know how much I love her."

"I know," Lizzy cries from the very bottom of her heart. "God, I know, Sam. She should be here with us. She should be human… human and here and with us…."

"Stop," Sam shushes her and in a very uncharacteristic move for him he presses a kiss to her forehead. "You don't have to tell me. I know."

And there they sit, Lizzy with her face pressed to the rough canvas of his jacket as she lets it all go, not able to handle what's happening and the knowledge of just where her sister is, and Sam with his arms around her. He rests his head atop hers and lets his own tears slowly slide down his face as she sobs, wishing with everything in him their fate wasn't always as hard as it's been.

* * *

 


	4. Taken

_**This is my take on the episode "Let It Bleed'.** _

* * *

 

With Sam and Dean off to the Campbell compound to gather yet more references for them to pour over, Lizzy and Bobby have spent their day and a half quietly researching, trying to beat the clock. Either they figure out how to pop Purgatory first or Castiel does… and if the angel wins it could spell disaster. Every hour that they come up with no answer puts that much more dread into their hearts.

Luckily the reading and the ever ticking time until disaster has kept her fully occupied. She's has no time to think about Lou and Purgatory. Right now this whole race to the finish has been a somewhat God-send for her.

At the kitchen table Lizzy pours over her current lore book, a large volume from their first trip to Samuel's stash, as her bare feet kneed through the fur of her beloved dog. Cass has barely left her side these past few month especially and whenever she reads he either sits next to her with his head in her lap or lies down by her feet. If he chooses her feet there's a good chance he gets a lovely massage so he usually chooses that one quite wisely.

With a big sigh, Lizzy sits back in her chair and rubs her eyes. She's cooked but she won't give up, not yet. This situation is too crucial for even a pregnant woman to take a break.

As if reading her mind, Bobby yells to her from his desk, "Go lie down."

"Go screw yourself."

"Go  _take care_ of yourself. You're exhausted and you should be. Two hours of rest ain't gonna kill you…"

"But not beating Cass to the punch might kill us all." She gives him a knowing and sarcastic shit-eating grin.

Bobby looks up at her from his work, his face set. "You  _want_  me to come in there, is that it?"

"Stop. I'm fine," Lizzy tells him and leans back over her book. She's determined to be helpful here, pregnant or not.

A few moments later and Bobby is standing next to her kitchen chair. "Let's go."

"Bobby, don't…"

"I don't remember asking."

She eyes him angrily.

"Don't you give me that look. You're eight months in. You need to take care of that boy and I promise that a quick couple hour nap won't end the world. Now get your ass up those stairs so that I don't have to drag you."

That stubborn streak in her makes her just sit there, challenging him with expression only.

"I'll personally come up there in exactly two hours to wake you," Bobby vows as he holds up his hand palm out. With an eye roll Lizzy shakes it in agreement. "There you go. Up and 'attum."

He pulls her up out of the kitchen chair to stand.

"Hate you," she tells him ineffectively.

"I know you do," he grins right back. He knows she's just joking and is proved correct when she presses a kiss to his cheek before parting ways.

Shuffling her feet around the house, Lizzy makes a pit stop in the bathroom before heading to her room. She keeps the bedroom door open to keep an ear out. It's dumb to think she isn't safe at Bobby's but call her paranoid.

Her dog meanders into the room and comes right up to her as she sits down on the edge of the bed.

"What would I do without you, pup?" she smiles to him and scratches behind his ears, his favorite. Cass nudges her stomach with his nose once before licking her hand. "We love you too. Go to bed, Cass."

The animal knows that command well and Cass does his usual guard-dog thing in his dog bed across the hallway from her, laying down comfortable with his face angled to her to keep an eye out. She smiles at him, the loyal little pet that he is, and she gets into her own bed. She lives in sweats and t-shirts these days so getting ready for her nap was easy.

With a huge ' _ah_ ' to be lying in her bed, Lizzy snuggles into her pillow and closes her eyes. Yes, she should be reading and searching for an answer but damn does it feel good to lie down in her bed like this. Maybe it was a good idea after all…

Just as she's about to drift off the loud bang jolts her completely awake again.

She's heard a sound like that before. Every time she's busted down a door in the name of a hunt she's heard that very booming noise. It's nothing new to her… nor is it calming.

Already on high alert Lizzy bolts up, sitting tall in bed and eyeing out the door of the bedroom. She looks just in time to see Cass take off running from his own bed down to the bottom floor as the commotion starts up.

Her dog barks furiously as soon as he's down there and Lizzy is on her feet immediately. She grabs the bottle of holy water and her cell phone from the end table along with her Glock. Taking a deep breath she moves slowly, not wanting to make it obvious that she's upstairs in the house.

A human sounding voice screams out in pain while she can hear the faint sound of sizzling.

_Ain't no demons gonna come into my house without a damn fight!_

Shit. Bobby's words give it all away. She squeezes her eyes shut for a second, accepting that this is real, and tiptoes to the stairs. Lizzy walks down a couple steps and ducks down to look at what's happening.

Cass has his jaw wrapped around one blacked-eyed man's forearm, the dog attacking the intruders like she's never once seen him do before. He can sense the threat the intruders bring along with the pure evil that they are. His voice growls harshly while his vice grip in unrelenting. He's a true Winchester.

As Bobby fights off two other demons, using holy water to hold them back, she has to wonder how the hell they got past all the wards and protection around the place. After that demon walked in when Sam was a small, five year old version of himself they upped the power of their protection and had Cass do his thing to improve it.

Cass. She should have known better.

When the demon kicks her dog off of his arm he skids back into the living room. She can't see what happens next when the demon goes after him because the wall blocks her view but all she needed to hear was the frightened and pitiful whimper of the dog to understand what happened. The silence following confirms it.

Lizzy clamps a hand over her mouth to keep her sob from escaping. Her Cass.

Just then Bobby looks up and catches the sight of her, shaking his head to tell her to get back upstairs and hide.

Sprinting back to the nursery, the most protected room in the house, she shuts and locks the door. Immediately she's lining the doorway with salt from a large metal canister she stored in the closet there. It's difficult going but she manages to then push the bed in front of the door before backing up to the furthest corner of the room. As she takes out her cell phone she fumbles with it once when the large thud of a body dropping heavily onto the floor is heard from downstairs. Right after that the commotion stops and she has to pray that they didn't kill Bobby. They couldn't have. Bobby needs to be alive. He  _needs_  to be.

Focusing in, she dials Dean's number and waits.

* * *

Driving for nearly a day straight after zero sleep the night before, Dean yawns wide as he glances to Sam next to him. The guy never took a break. The second he was in the passenger seat he was reading like a mad man as Dean drove, not looking to waste a second of time not searching for the key to Purgatory.

"You ever heard of Moishe Campbell?" Sam asks, holding up the ancestor's journal briefly.

"Moishe?" Dean asks with the name he didn't expect to hear. "We got Jewish family members?"

"Apparently. They're New Yorkers," Sam explains. "Worth a look, right?"

"Ain't it all?"

"Yeah…" Sam answers absently, leafing through the possibly interesting hunting journal.

It's sometime later that Sam perks up a bit. "Holy shit."

"What?"

"Moishe… he's got some interesting friends," Sam tells his brother as he reads aloud. "Went to talk to Howard Phillips about the events of March 10th."

"Ok… what's so special about that?"

"Howard Phillips is H.P. Lovecraft." Sam smiles at him with a little excitement and repeats, "H.P. Lovecraft."

"Am I supposed to know who that is?" Dean asks with total confusion.

"He's the greatest horror writer of all time."

"Blasphemer! No way. Don't soil the memory of Stephen King like that."

Sam looks at him funny. "Stephen King is alive."

"You know what I mean…"

"Look, the point is that Lovecraft always wrote about doors to other worlds, other dimensions. What if he knew?"

"Knew how to open Purgatory?"

"Yes!" Sam sits back for a second. "Someone has to have something on this. There's gotta be…"

Dean's phone rings and cuts Sam off. He silently cheers for the distraction to break up to monotony of the drive and the news of a horror writer he knows nothing about.

And he grins to himself without even knowing it when the letter L shows up on his phone screen.

"Hey momma," he smirks into the phone when he answers it, always happy to hear from her. "We might have something…"

"Demons are in the house."

And his heart freezes over in an instant. The frantic sound in her hushed voice combined with what she tells him… this is his nightmare. It's happening again.

"What!?" he asks with sheer alarm as Sam looks over to him instantly, wide eyes asking him for information on what's going on. One word with that much fear in it from Dean was enough to let Sam know something is very wrong.

"There's three," her voice elevates. "I don't know how but they fucking got in. Bobby was fighting them off but I think he lost. I can hear them coming up the stairs." Dean can then hear the banging on the door of whatever room she's in. "Baby… they killed Cass."

"Cass!?" Dean asks with confusion.

"Our puppy," she nearly sobs but gets control of her voice again. "Baby… Cass is dead. They fucking killed him, oh God…"

Pulling over immediately as he knows he'll run the car into a tree or a passing car if he doesn't.

"Where's Bobby now?"

"He's… I don't know. I don't know," her voice starts to panic. "I can't fight them, Dean… I can't. They could hurt Sammy. Dean, I can't let that happen…"

"No, no, don't fight them," Dean agrees. "If they aren't there to hurt you then don't fight them."

"Where are you?" she asks with clear desperation.

"Half hour out," Dean hates to tell her as he can hear a choked sob of helplessness escape her.

"They're gonna get in," Lizzy tells him, the banging getting louder by the second. "They will. Shit… what do I do!?"

"What room are you in?"

"Sammy's."

"Shit," Dean complains hard, knowing there's no weaponry in there. Lizzy refused to let there be any weapons besides salt and holy water in the room intended for their son. "Ok, ok… what about the window?"

"What about it!?"

"There's an old service truck parked nearly against the house out back. It should be under the nursery windows. Go look."

Just then he can hear the door of the bedroom burst open. He knows she's dropped the phone when he voice is farther off than before.

_Stay back!_

_Sweetheart, you aren't gonna be that dumb and try and fight us are you?_

_The hell do you want!?_

"L! Don't talk to them! Run!"

"Dean, what the hell's going on?" Sam asks but gets ignored. Whatever it is it's bad, really bad, and he's left in the dark for now.

_No! No! Get away from me!_

"Lizzy!" Dean shouts into the phone, hearing commotion once more. The sizzle of holy water and three shots are fired. She's putting up what little fight she can afford to and he knows it. "L! We're gonna come get you! Stop pissing them off!"

And then it goes silent. He hears nothing which he now realizes is much worse than the commotion from before.

"Lizzy!?" Dean yells into the phone. "L!? Baby, come on! You gotta answer me here!"

He hears the phone being handled again. Right after a very familiar voice greets him.

"Hello, Dean. Fancy a chat?"

Gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut with the utter ire boiling through his system at the sound of  _that_  voice, Dean tries to hold it together enough to get through this.

Seeing the place Dean's in, Sam takes the phone out of his hand before he crushes it with his grip and puts it on speaker so he knows what the hell is going on.

"God, how long's it been, Dean? Since my so-called demise, yes?"

"Crowley!?" Sam fires out when he hears the demon's voice on the other end.

"Ah, it's my lucky day. I get the pleasure of speaking to both you window-lickers this time. How are things, Moose? Difficult as of late I imagine."

"Where's Bobby?" Dean grits out, praying the man is still alive. Lizzy seemed unsure if he was.

"He's with your wife. Snug as a bug."

"Crowley, let them go!" Sam yells immediately into the phone with the news. He's all caught up now and hating what he's being told.

"Let 'em go  _now_ …" Dean starts, the anger clear in his voice. "Or I  _swear_ …"

"Right, right," Crowley responds with a nearly audible eye roll. "You'll rip me a cornucopia of orifices. Let's get to the bit where I tell you how this goes. You're chocolate has been in my peanut butter for far too long."

"I am going to kill you," Dean resolves to give fair warning. "I am. I'm gonna  _rip_  your  _fucking_  throat out."

"Oh Dean, ever the wit," Crowley pokes fun. "I have your… oh what are they? Not-father and not-really-legal wife, along with your not-yet-here son… and I'm keeping them until I'm satisfied that you and the lunk have  _backed the hell off_!"

"Dean's right," Sam adds in and backs up his brother. "He's gonna kill you. And if he doesn't, then I will!"

"Last chance to let them go easy," Dean doles the final warning.

"You boys are adorable when you get all threatening," Crowley brushes them off. "Don't worry. I won't hurt them as long as the Hardy Boys stand down. Got it? Splendid. Kisses."

Looking at one another with shock and numbing fear, neither speak. Processing this new chink in the armor is impossible. Their right hand man is taken. Lizzy is taken. Sammy is taken.

Dean throws the Impala into drive and floors it, needing to get back to home base as soon as they can. They know nothing more until they do.

* * *

When the Impala pulls up to Singer Salvage the first thing Sam and Dean can see is the busted open side door. The frame is splintered with the force that had been used on it. Already it looks bad.

The engine off, both brothers fly out of the car and rush to the door.

Dean makes his way in first, taking in the sight of the destroyed kitchen first. Broken glass everywhere, the kitchen table overturned, papers and books littering the entire floor of the house.

When he turns the corner to peer into the living room Dean flinches and instantly looks away.

"Fuck!" he shouts, picking up the nearest empty whiskey bottle from the kitchen counter and sending it sailing through the air, it shattering against the study wall behind the desk.

Glancing into the living room to see what Dean's reacting so badly to Sam himself lets out a sad groan when he sees the unmoving, blood-stained body of an Australian Sheppard.

"Damn it," Sam says quietly, the loss hitting them both hard. Cass was the first pet either of them has ever managed to have for more than a couple weeks at a time.

For Sam the dog proved that things could get better. They could find normalcy somewhere within the confines of their fucked up lives. He's never had a dog and granted he'd only know the pet for a little bit, but he loved that damn animal.

But for Dean it's so much worse. As he paces the kitchen floor, unable to get back into the living room so soon after finding Cass there, he fights the urge to cry over an animal. But for him, over time, Cass had become way more to him than Lizzy's dog that she made him get. He was a companion, a friend that never once let him down, an always silent confidant and for Dean that's damn hard to come by. That dog was also the last piece he had left of his old life, the life he had with Lizzy for one beautiful year. Cass depended on them to keep him alive and happy… and they couldn't do that for him.

This is it. This is the end of hope, the end of his holding out for something better for him and his family. This just proves that no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, that their good life is never coming back to them. It'll always be taken away.

And all his dog wanted to do was help keep his family safe, not much unlike himself.

Sucking it up, Dean walks cautiously into the living room. He steps right up to the unmoving animal, the fur around his neck stained with red, the same color as the pool on the floor under him. Dean crouches down to the floor next to him. Scratching behind his ears like Cass always loved, Dean can't fight it anymore. The single tear makes its way down his face.

"Aw, Cass," he quickly says in a ragged voice, hating that this is how his loyal and life-saving dog had to go down. The flood gates open far too quickly to stop now. "I'm sorry buddy. This is our fault."

They never should have picked him up from the shelter. If they hadn't then Cass could be alive, running around some fenced in back yard and being spoiled by some family that loved him as much as he and Lizzy did. It's another life that's been lost because it'd come in contact with the Winchesters.

"Son of a bitch," Dean breathes deep and gets up, walking away as he can't deal with this right now. His wife is still missing.

"I can handle this," Sam tells his brother, the hits keeping on coming for him.

"You gotta get on the Purgatory thing," Dean tell Sam as he marches off to the basement.

"What!?" Sam asks with shock that Dean would tell him to do such a thing as he follows him down to the horde of weaponry Bobby has stocked downstairs. "You're going after them by yourself?"

"Yes."

"You gotta be nuts if you think I'm gonna let you do this alone!"

"What the hell choice do we have!?" Dean asks in a panic as he grabs the nearest duffel and starts packing anything he can find that'd be effective against demons.

"No way," Sam denies. "We're gonna get them back  _together_ …"

"Sam, this is a pretty fucking big ball to drop here," Dean reminds him, pausing to look him straight in the eye. "Cass is way ahead of us already. You gotta do this, man."

They stare at each other, coming to terms with the idea that they have to separate and handle this on their own. Dean will get their family back… and Sam will save the world yet again.

What could go wrong?

* * *

 


	5. What's Your Worst Nightmare, Dean?

_**This is my take on the episode 'Let It Bleed'.** _

* * *

 

The horrific screams that have continually come out of the large warehouse on Bobby's property has had Sam on edge since they started up. No one, or thing, makes a sound of anguish like that unless under the worst of situations. Dean has become that worst of situations for every demon he's been able to summon within the day.

At the very beginning Sam voiced his concerns over Dean's information gathering tactics and how they border on exactly the type of activities that are dangerous for Dean's psyche to return to, but he just received a big fuck him in return for airing the thought. Dean was going to get his wife back if it killed him or ruined his mind… either or.

Sam's always been well aware that Lizzy could be Dean's complete undoing. If anything ever happened to her Dean would spiral before completely crashing and burning if she wasn't by his side. This is the beginning of the spiral. That would be the only reason for Dean's total abandonment of his regained morals after his time in Hell and return to the torture master he mentality had been for ten years under Alistair's tutelage.

So Sam waits until there's a pause in screams to enter the warehouse to get and give an update. When he opens the door he's greeted with a room with far too much blood spatter to be good.

"I don't know anything," the demon quickly tells Dean, eyeing the heap of dead bodies in the corner of the large room.

"We'll see about that," Dean growls out as he secures the demon and heads for his table of implements, set up just how he likes them. The meticulous way the item are set out irks Sam immediately, knowing this is an OCD type of thing that most psychotic killers would be accustomed to using. Everything in its place for the kill. Bad sign.

"Hey," Sam calls to his brother after he ties down another demon to the chair in the middle of an orange spray-painted devil's trap.

"Yeah?" Dean asks, not looking up as he makes a decision to use the holy water first. Start slow and easy and make his way up from there.

"I need to leave."

"To?"

"To check out a lead," Sam explains, having discovered a man that witnessed the opening of Purgatory at H.P. Lovecraft's house long ago. "Why don't you give it a quick rest?"

Dean shoots a look that could kill at his brother.

"You're grasping at straws here, man," Sam says to him. "Just try Balthazar…"

"I did."

"And?"

"And he's an asshole," Dean succinctly explains and walks past his brother to get to the demon.

"Dean…" Sam grabs his shoulder to stop him for a moment, fearing what Dean's quickly slipping into, but Dean jerks away from Sam's hold and stares at him with sheer anger.

"I kill enough demons and eventually one of them will tell me where they are."

"It hasn't worked yet," Sam rebuts.

"It will," Dean darkly returns. "Trust me."

A chill runs down Sam's spine with that one.

"I'm not comfortable leaving you like this, Dean."

"Get the fuck outta here, Sam," Dean asks of him. "I'll find them. You stop Cass. That's the plan."

Dean then ignores Sam and starts in on the tied down demon, determination ruling all his better judgment, and Sam leaves the building. There was no getting through to Dean now. None. He knows it.

As Sam starts for the Impala he pauses for a second. Desperate times always call for desperate measures and even if Sam has maybe too much pride he knows how to crush it for the wellbeing of his family.

"Cass," he calls out to the air in a last ditch effort. "It's Sam. I, I don't know if you're in on this whole kidnapping thing… but if you have any heart whatsoever you'll bring them back to us. You love Lizzy too much for this shit. Come on, man. Please. I'm begging you. I am  _begging_  you. Do you understand?"

The all-consuming dead silence of the salvage yard confirms it for him. Cass is gone. He's not coming to help. He's done. He's lost all that he ever was to them and he's not going to help.

Sam sighs and walks off, ready to head out to figure out how to stop the dick angel.

* * *

"Drinking your feelings, Dean?" the hunter hears a voice ask him. When he turns around he sees Balthazar standing there in Bobby's kitchen. "I think I've seen this episode before."

Eyeing him with piss in his veins Dean takes another massive swig of his straight whiskey during his break from torturing. "Fuck do you want?"

"Well, we need to talk."

"Why? Didn't you already write me off?"

"Preemptively, might I say," Balthazar admits begrudgingly. "So, I know I'm gonna live to regret this… but I'm officially on your team. You bastard."

"And I should believe you why?" Dean challenges, the angel being deceptive as all hell in the past.

"Would you believe I had a shred of decency?"

"Hell no."

"Oh, that hurts," the angel responds with and Dean gives him one very unhappy look. "Okay, you're right. It's survival. You see, I asked Cass some questions and I disliked his answers. He seems awfully sure of himself for a man who wants to swallow a million nuclear reactors. I mean, these things can get a bit Chernobyl, you know? So, voilà. Consider me your double agent. Oh, and I took the liberty of searching for your family members. Uh, took a while. Crowley's a clever one."

Heart leaping out of his chest with the good news, Dean's wide eyes bug out of his head. "You found them?"

"Well, the upside is yes, uh, the downside is no, I can't get them for you."

"Why not?"

"Because Crowley's angel-proofed the whole bloody building. I guess he doesn't trust Cass. Seems that marriage is going swimmingly.

"Get me as close as you can," Dean near demands as he drops his glass on the kitchen table and begins gathering what he needs for a serious demon fight.

"You alone?"

"Yeah."

"Where's the one Crowley likes to call Moose?" Balthazar looks around the house.

"Busy," Dean answers shortly and hefts the duffel over his shoulder.

"Uh, I don't suppose you'd listen to my wise suggestion of bringing some back up, would you?"

"I don't have time to wait for that," Dean says to him. "Lizzy can't handle this kind of stress right now."

"Oh, I don't know. The old girl's done quite well for herself in the past…"

"She's pregnant," Dean lets him know. "And as an angel I know you understand the importance of that."

"You bloody morons," Balthazar backs up a step. "You actually did it. You got her knocked up, you cave man with too much of a fucking libido."

"Thanks for the show of confidence but no. It wasn't our fault. Cass did it," Dean says quickly.

"Uh… Castiel impregnated your wife?" Balthazar asks with shock. "And she lived!?"

"What!? No! That's  _my_  son. He's mine. Cass just… fucked with our system."

"Ah, well… since you procreated we best go get that little savior out of there then, hm?"

They disappear from Bobby's kitchen and appear in front of an old, abandoned building.

"Alright," Balthazar announces. "This is where I get off. God be with you and what have you."

Suddenly Dean's alone, Ruby's knife in hand, a shotgun of salt rounds in the other, and a bag of weaponry over his shoulder. Not taking another second to wait, he marches determinedly towards the building that he knows his family is in.

* * *

A full day of sitting against a dirty, metal factory pole, tied to it with Bobby at her back, and everything hurts. Her ass hurts from the concrete ground, her back hurts as it always does through the pregnancy, and her heart hurts for everything this is doing to her family. Bobby's with her in this terrifying situation, it all can't be good for her and Sammy's health, this bodes so poorly for Castiel in her eyes, she knows Sam has to be horrified with it all, and Dean… she's actually terrified of what this is doing to him. Lizzy knows her husband. If he hasn't gone completely bye-bye and turned into another, far more frightening person then she knows it's only a matter of time. She just hopes he doesn't go off the deep end so hard that he does something foolish… even if that's already a foregone conclusion for her.

"Someone has to help me out here. If I don't pee soon I'm gonna explode," she fairly warns the demons assigned to watch over them. They just stare at her with uncaring eyes. "You seriously don't care about that?"

"We've been warned about you and what you're capable of," one of them respond to her. "Orders are you stay tied up."

"Well that's just flattering and all but with a huge gut like this I'm not really gonna be an effective fighter at this point," she rolls her eyes. "I didn't even fight you guys when you took me here. I won't do anything, I just need to take a piss. I'm fucking pregnant, have a damn heart instead of a black hole or whatever it is you have for five seconds here."

"Deal with it, bitch," that demon returns with. "This is what you get for hanging with the Winchesters."

"Assholes," Lizzy mutters under her breath before turning her head. "Bobby? How you holding up?"

"Better than you," he comments. "Any idea how we're getting out of this alive?"

"No, but we will," Lizzy says determinedly. Nothing will put her son at risk like this. Nothing. Mother's instincts are strong and Lizzy's are raging right about now. That and she knows that big-daddy Dean will absolutely not let this one stand. "We'll figure this out… just like we figure everything out."

Sighing as she looks upwards at the ceiling just for a change of sights, a loud commotion starts up from the adjoining room. Both Lizzy and Bobby's eyes light up with the sound, hoping beyond hopes that it's their guys coming for them.

"The hell is that?" one of the demons asks with alarm.

"I'm going out," another announces, nodding for the one to come with him. Two of the three leave, climbing the wooden stairs to the doorway and disappearing.

Just seconds later one of those demons comes sailing through the door, taking it off its hinges and shattering the railing to the staircase leading up to it.

With huge, shocked eyes Lizzy watches as the second demon that left the room gets slammed into the doorway and then stabbed through the stomach by one seriously pissed off Dean Winchester.

Once the demon is dead he tosses the body aside and makes his way quickly down the stairs and into the room holding Lizzy and Bobby. He glances at them, the slight relief only in his expression for a quick fraction of a second, before he strides right for the last demon on the room. It takes him a blocked punch and all of two more seconds to have Ruby's knife driven up under his chin and into his skull with scary determination.

All immediate threats gone he jogs over to his wife and father-figure.

"About damn time," Lizzy lightly says with a grin.

"We gotta move fast," Dean tells her, cutting the rope and freeing them both. He helps pull Lizzy to her feet.

"I know," she answers, struggling onto her feet and limping a little at first with the new ability to move. "I gotta piss like a racehorse."

"Come on," Dean's determined and set tone says, his hand grasping hers hard as he leads both her and Bobby out. Before they can get far he's being shoved away from Lizzy and Ruby's knife is yanked from his hands.

When he sharply turns back he watches as Bobby gets Lizzy in a head lock, the knife to her throat.

"What the hell, Bobby!?" Lizzy panics right away, her heart pounding when one of the people she trusts most turns on her.

"Bobby, what are you doing!?" Dean asks in shock. "We gotta leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere," Bobby tells him, his eyes going black when he blinks. "And neither is she."

Lizzy shoots Dean one very fearful look.

"Crowley thought you might come so he had me jump this old crusty son of a bitch for insurance." Bobby smiles something evil. "Can't go losing our leverage now, can we?" Dean takes a step forward and demon-Bobby takes one back while bringing the knife closer to Lizzy's neck. "Ah, ah. Another step… free C-section." He leans in close to Lizzy's ear. "You know he's awake in here, your not-father. I can hear him thinking and clawing away because he doesn't want his precious fake daughter to go down like this."

"Shut up," Lizzy grits and her body tenses up. She can't die like this, not while pregnant. She just need to get her son out of here. That's all that matters.

"Hey Dean, did you know Cass lied to you?" Bobby's voice keeps taunting. "He told you this kid was yours. It's… not."

"You shut your mouth," Dean growls with anger.

"What, you trust  _her_?" Bobby asks, pointing the knife point at Lizzy. "This whore? Do you have any idea how many men have actually been  _inside_  this chick? You'd never go near her again if you did…"

"Oh come on!" Lizzy jumps in with this one. "Why is that the demonic go-to with me!? Is that all the dirt you can come up with?"

"Hey, you're the one that kept opening her legs…"

"And Dean's as much of a slut as me! He knows, I know, this isn't effective, ok? Tell your friends."

"Yeah, she's right," Dean agrees. "Plus, I dig the slutty chicks. They're more fun… and I'm not leaving without her. So why don't you let her go before I stab you in your face."

"Oh what, you're her white knight now?" the demon taking Bobby for a spin rebuts. "She wishes she never met you, Dean. You're the worst mistake she ever made. She hasn't been happy a day since you walked into her life. From that day on it's been a nightmare for her."

At this Dean takes a step forward again.

"Uh-uh," Bobby warns, the knife now pressing against Lizzy's throat. She closes her eyes in fear, the cold metal blade against her skin making the situation that much more real. "Back off, cowboy. Crowley said to stand down. You best listen to him before you become a widower."

"L, look at me. Look at me." When she opens her eyes she can see the hand in his pocket. "You're gonna be just fine. We're all gonna be fine."

Lizzy nods, giving him permission to fling the holy water she knows he has ready at them. The second she gives the green light Dean's hand flies from his jacket pocket and flings the metal flask towards Bobby, the water flying through the air. Somehow, the demon saw it coming and ducked just in time to avoid it.

"Really?" Bobby's voice patronizes. "I'm in Bobby's head, numb nuts! I know the tricks you hunters love to use now. I saw it coming a mile away."

And now Dean knows he has no choice. He wonders how fast he can rattle off some Latin by memory. "Well then, you must have seen this one coming. Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus…"

"Shut your mouth," the demon warns as Bobby's eyes roll back a bit.

"Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica."

Bobby huffs in pain. "I'm warning you… Dean…. You'll regret it…"

"Ergo draco maledicte," Dean keeps on going as Lizzy takes deep breaths to keep her fear in check. He just prays this doesn't put her back into the place she was a month ago, taken by demons and so affected by stress that it caused her early labor symptoms.

"Stop it," Bobby's tone gives the final warning, keeping Lizzy in a headlock as the demon drops its other arm, lowering the knife. "Last chance!"

"Ecclesiam tuam…"

" _Stop_!"

"You can go to hell, you black-eyed son of a bitch," Dean spits out his anger quickly.

The demon pulls the knife away from Lizzy's body at arm length, the point aimed right at her and ready to fly. "You sure about that?"

The demon plunges Ruby's knife straight into Lizzy's lower stomach.

"NO!" Dean panics immediately, his world crashing down as Lizzy screams with a little pain but mostly her overwhelming fear.

Lizzy's legs give out under her as she sobs out. " _No_! No! God please no!"

"I warned you, dad," the demon laughs as he keeps Lizzy on her feet.

"No, no, no," Dean panics but when he looks at Lizzy, really sees the utter fear and sadness all over her, he focuses in. "Securi tibi facias libertate. Servire te rogamus, audi nos."

Bobby's head tilts back and screams out at the demon flies from his mouth, smoke filling the ceiling and dissipating before Bobby's body stumbles back and drops Lizzy on the floor.

"Lizzy!" Dean shouts instantly, diving to the floor next to her as she cries in all consuming fright for her son's life.

"Dean, no," she sobs in true panic. "This isn't happening. No. This can't happen, please tell me this isn't happening."

"It's ok," Dean lies through his teeth for her benefit. "Hey, hey, look at me."

She does as the tears saturate her face. Her hand clamps onto his arm as he gets her to lay down. When her other hand reaches for her wound she can feel the knife, the blade buried halfway into her.

" _No_!" she yells out when she gets the picture of just how bad this is. "Dean please, we have to go! Oh my god, Sammy…"

"I know, baby. I know," Dean tells her, looking up at Bobby. The man is standing there just looking down at what his hands just did. Shock. He's worthless. "Bobby! Snap out of it!"

"Sammy," Lizzy says the name of her unborn child. "Dean, you have to save him. Get me out of here!"

"We're leaving," he struggles to keep his cool, his voice faulting a bit. "We are." He looks at Bobby again and reaches over, punching him in the leg. " _Bobby_!"

The hunter's eyes finally move and focus in on Dean.

"Give me your jacket," Dean says sternly to the older man. "Now!"

Without a word Bobby takes his canvas jacket off and hands it over.

"Ok, ok," Dean says mostly to himself as he lets himself really look at Lizzy's wound. It's so bad, the knife angled upwards into her pregnant stomach. He doesn't even want to think about where that blade could have ended up. He can't do that right now. Balling up the jacket, Dean holds it with one hand next to the wound and grabs the knife handle with the other. "L, hey." She looks up at him. "You're ok. We're gonna leave right now. I'm not letting anything happen to either of you."

With that he pulls the knife out of her and immediately presses the jacket into her stomach to slow the bleeding.

Lizzy yells with the pain of the move.

"Hands, baby," Dean directs, grabbing both of hers and putting them onto the jacket, pressing down. "Keep that there. Press hard, come on. You can do this."

Lizzy nods and listens, putting as much pressure as she can onto the jacket through her predicament.

"Harder," Dean tells her as he hooks an arm around her back and under her legs. "You can do this, momma. You're ok. Sammy'll be fine if we get outta here now."

He feels terrible lying to her but it's all he has right now.

"Bobby!" Dean calls out the still dazed man as he picks his wife up off the cement floor, her voice struggling and crying in fear all the way. "Cut the shit and help your family!"

The word family seems to have worked as Bobby blinks and shakes it all off.

"Get the bag," Dean says, walking quickly to the stairs. "Take out the shot gun and get some shells. You gotta cover us while we get the fuck outta here."

"I'm here," Bobby responds and moves quickly now, back into reality. His girl needs him and so does that little boy. Digging into the duffel he grabs the sawed-off and pockets a few shells. He then pulls the bag over his shoulder and jogs up the stairs first. "Liz, you hang tight. We're gonna take care of this."

It takes far too long to leave the building if you ask any of them. It could have been an hour or five seconds, doesn't matter, but the quiet sounds of despair Lizzy's making causes time to tick so slowly it hurts.

"This way," Bobby says and heads in a new direction than Dean came in. He knows there's some cars parked out back and he remembers how to get there from when they arrived. Dean follows without question, only pausing a couple times for Bobby to take out some demons in their way.

"I'll get a car!" Bobby runs off in a sprint, heading for a jeep that he's sure he can hotwire in no time.

As Bobby does that Dean starts talking to his wife, needing her to calm down as much as she can in the horrific situation. Less panic and a slower heart rate means less blood loss.

"We're going to a hospital right now," Dean tells her. "We're gonna take care of this. Don't you worry."

"Dean, stop it," Lizzy cries quietly, not buying it for a second. "This is so bad."

"No it isn't," Dean once more lies to her face for her benefit. "It's not that bad…"

"Don't lie to me," Lizzy asks of him, the sound of a car engine roaring to life just feet from her.

Dean keeps quiet at this and does as she asks. It is bad, worse than anything they've seen yet as a pair. Instead he steps forward as Bobby pulls up next to them. He opens the backseat door and as gently as he can in their rush places her inside.

He then jogs around and dives into the other side. "Bobby, go!"

With his phone out and route already mapped, Bobby peels out of the lot and heads for help.

Leaning her full weight against him as Dean brings one arm around her he helps put further pressure onto her wound with the other.

Lizzy's body goes ridged for a second.

"What is it?" Dean asks with serious concern as she reaches for the waist of her cotton yoga pants. Her hand disappears into the front of them for a moment and when her hand reappears there's a fresh, bright red coat of blood on her fingers.

"Oh, no, no, no," Lizzy falls right back into her panicked sobs when she sees it. "God, I'm bleeding."

"Don't look at that," Dean shakes his head and lowers her hand to the now ruined canvas jacket pressed to her stomach.

"You have to take care of him," Lizzy tells her husband, his eyes looking at her like she's crazy. "You take care of him, raise him right. Keep him safe from all this shit…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean angrily asks her.

"Sammy will need you so much," Lizzy keeps saying her peace just in case. "When we get there you have them focus on him. I come second."

"Knock that off…"

"And if after this it's just you…. And Sammy…" she starts to cry all over again. "You do everything you can. Run away. Hide. Go deep. Keep him safe and happy…"

"No more talking," Dean tells her, pressing her head to rest into his shoulder. He can't listen to this.

Lizzy just sits there in her pain and panic as the car skids and speeds. This is it. She can feel it in her bones that this isn't her day. She just has to be sure Sammy will be ok and, for her son's sake, Dean will be ok enough too.

"I love you," Lizzy says to her husband when no other words could mean half as much right now.

"I love you, too," Dean quickly responds. "Now stop. We'll be there soon."

* * *

 


	6. Welcome to the World, Little One

* * *

From the second they pulled up to the ER bay it's all been a blur of terrible confusion and pit of his stomach fear for Dean.

He recalls shouting at the top of his lungs for help the moment the car came to a stop. He also remembers telling Bobby to call his brother and get him there ASAP as they left the older man in the waiting room with paperwork and insurance questions. Dean's going to need Sam, he knows that much, so he hopes with all he has that he's not that far away.

There was medical jargon thrown about all around him as Lizzy was placed on a gurney and wheeled inside. They did a quick portable ultrasound to assess the damage done to her as they practically jog down corridors and the instantly elevated energy and overall feel of urgency of the medical professionals surrounding them after they checked her over made him panic more.

Lizzy began asking questions about what was happening and if her son was ok and she was all but ignored through the chaos. Dean could have strangled the doctors and nurses for the way they were both getting the silent treatment, especially her, but he actually contained himself. Lizzy needs their help so he won't go pissing them off. They need these people on their side.

And then, when they reached the end of a very long hallway, the worst thing happened. They got separated from each other.

"We need prep you before you come into the OR," the doctor says to Dean in passing when they come to the double doors sectioning off the hospital.

"No, I…" Dean tries to rebut but he's cut off when yanked aside.

"This way," he's told by a nurse as she leads him away.

"Dean!?" Lizzy grows alarmed by the idea of him leaving her side for any amount of time at all.

"I'm right behind you!" Dean yells to her when he's forced to drop his hold on her hand as she's wheeled through the double doors. "I'll be right there, I promise!"

"Ok," Lizzy nods, the total fear in her expression killing him to leave her but he had to. "Hurry."

"Everything's ok!" Dean shouts his lie to her as they round the corner.

And she's gone.

"Come with me, Mr. Winchester," the nurse directs again and pulls him by the arm into a room off to the side of the hallway. "We gotta move quickly."

"Is she gonna be ok?" Dean wonders in a little bit of a haze as everything from the past hour comes crashing down around him. He's in a hospital right now, his wife and child in serious danger. How did he get here? How did this happen?

"We're gonna find out," the nurse vaguely answers and brings him over to a sink, turning the warm water on. "Your wife and baby are in very good hands here. Doctor Hunting is the best trauma surgeon around and Doctor Wexler has done hundreds of C-sections before."

"C-section?" Dean questions, not yet having thought about that as an outcome of this. His son is going to be born today, right now. He'll be here in minutes and then his life is completely changed forever. Sammy will be here.

"Yes, we need to get your child out of there as soon as we can," she vaguely explains, running around the room and gathering everything they need. "It's no longer safe in there with the trauma your wife has experienced."

"But… no. It's early. He has another month…"

"Not anymore," she points out and pulls off his blue jacket, tossing it on the counter and surely ready to throw it out with the blood all over it. "But one month is nothing to be scared about. Most preemies are well developed and thrive if only a month early." She then gets a good look at his hands and arms now that he's in just a t-shirt. Red everywhere.

Dean pauses with surreal recognition when he sees it too. So much blood. It's staining his hands, his arms, even up to his elbows. It's so much blood. His wife's blood. He huffs out a deep breath while teetering on crumbling altogether.

The nurse recognizes that sudden instability in Dean. "Wash up," she smiles small and pulls him to the sink, getting his hands and arms under the warm running water. "Clean up as well as you can and I'll get some scrubs for you. Move fast."

Dean nods and focuses again now that he's been given a task. He picks up the bar of soap and starts in, lathering and soaping up before nearly scrubbing his skin raw with the need to rid himself of the proof. That blood was showing him that it all  _did_  just happen. This absolute nightmare is very real. He wants every singly drop off of him now.

"Oh, Mr. Winchester… you're good," the nurse rushes to stop the faucet when after a minute she sees the red color of his skin from scrubbing too hard. "Here." She hands over a wad of paper towels for him to dry up.

He does as he's told, drying his arms and hands in the silence of the room. Before they got in here is was insanity and loud, so loud. Voices and sounds of pain and instruments going off… he thinks he preferred the too busy to the too quiet now that he's surrounded by it.

"Put these on," the nurse gives him plastic gloves and he snaps them on while she ties a surgical cap onto his head. Once done she holds out the blue surgical gown to him and he threads his arms through. She ties him up in the back and they're ready to move again. "Follow me."

Dean walks, not really feeling his boots landing on the tile floor as he does. He can't hear the sounds of the machines whirring and beeping nor does he smell the sterile chemical odors. Everything is dulled with his inner anxiety. It's like he's underwater, his surroundings in slow motion and muffled…

…Right up until he walks into the operating room.

The chaos returns when it all slams into him. It's loud, medical professionals running about and shouting orders. Everything seems fast now, too fast. And too urgent. This can't be good.

"Dean?" he hears her quiet voice call to him.

"L," Dean smiles slightly to be in the same room as her again, walking right for her. He leans over the table she's on to kiss her forehead and then her lips once, giving whatever comfort he might be able to in the moment with all she's going through.

"Sit down," the same nurse that helped him get ready says as she pushes a chair next to Lizzy. He's starting to think she's been assign to just him.

He drops into the chair and looks her over. From the chest up she looks just fine, like nothing has happened. She's in a surgical gown herself now, her hair also in a cap as she lies on the table. Her arms are strapped down by her sides for her own safety and save for the smudge of blood on her cheek she looks normal. Of course, everything below the blue curtain separating her top half from her bottom half is the opposite but Dean doesn't look at that right now. He looks at her.

"Hey," he says, grasping her tied down hand in his gently and with the other he reassuringly runs his gloved fingers down the side of her face.

"Do you know anything?" Lizzy asks, her moment of calm to see him gone with her terror over everything else.

"No," Dean honestly tells her. "But I'm going with no news being good news, right?"

"I guess." She nods and her hand tightens in his. "Shit. Hot Shot… I'm really scared." Her voice elevates at the end of her confession and her eye well right up.

"I know you are," Dean tells her, wiping at the blood on her cheek with his latex-gloved thumb to get rid of it. "But I'm right here. Whatever happens, I am right here."

"If he's ok can you go with him?"

"I'm not leaving you…"

"Sammy's gonna need someone. I'm a big girl and I can be on my own," she cuts him off. "Please, for me, stay with him. Just worry about him."

"I can't worry about just him," Dean tells her in his even toned voice that he's forcing out for her benefit. "But if that's what you really want then I'll follow him."

"I want that."

"You get it then."

The tears slide sideways down her face as she lies there peering at him, the medical staff moving around them quick and frantic.

"We have uncontrolled hemorrhaging here," one of the doctors announces loudly and Lizzy flinches, the sound of powerful suctioning adding into the mess of sound.

"Don't listen in on that," Dean shakes his head. "Don't. We don't know what any of that crap really means. They can handle it."

Lizzy nods, slower this time.

"So this is it for it being just the two of us, huh?" Dean asks her with fake excitement, distractions being the best route for not only her but himself also. "You ready?"

"Are  _you_?" she turns it right around.

"Not really," Dean admits with the most nervous smile he's ever worn. "I was comfortable with another month of procrastinating my fear of fatherhood."

Lizzy sniffles once and keeps up the silent tears.

"You still wanna go with Samuel Robert?" Dean keeps trying with her. "Last chance. You wanna change it, now's the time."

"John Paul," Lizzy jokes a little, her voice quieter. "He's gonna be a bassist."

Dean huffs a laugh, impressed that she could come up with such a line right now.

"You know that's just my dad's name and your dad's name together, right?" he asks her, thinking she missed the coincidence.

"It's perfect," her weak voice laughs a little. "No," Lizzy adds on, her face a little more slack as she looks at him. "Samuel Robert. That's the right name."

"It is, isn't it?" Dean smiles at her, his thumb still stroking her cheek comfortingly.

"Yes. I won't change it," she says to him. "Our boy is Sammy."

"Alright, I can see him," the doctor announces to the staff.

"Is he ok?" Lizzy questions, her voice barely loud enough to compete with the room. "Dean, is he?"

"How is he?" Dean questions, standing up without letting her hand go.

"Give me time, Mr. Winchester," he is quickly warned. "Just another minute."

"Please be ok," Lizzy softly says in prayer with her eyes closed. "As long as he's ok I don't care what happens… Cassie, please…  _please_ … where are you…?"

"And… we're out," the doctor announces and as he does every light bulb in the room violently bursts one at a time with a resounding boom, putting them in complete darkness. Dean quickly covers over his defenseless wife's top half, shielding her from any glass that rains down in the room from medical lamps and overhead ceiling lighting as the medical staff grab sterile paper sheets to cover her lower half.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

In the waiting room, Bobby sitting in a plastic chair with bloodied clothes still on as his brain is trapped within his own fear for what he's done to Lizzy and her son, he jumps with the sudden clap of extremely loud thunder that rocks the building just as the lights all go out. With alarm he wraps his fingers around Ruby's knife that's tucked into his inside jacket pocket, eyes searching for any threat in the hospital.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Frantically driving to catch up with his family after Bobby called, his wavering and horrified voice explaining what happened to Lizzy, Sam swerves when the brightest bolt of lightning he's ever seen shoots horizontally across the dark skies, running east to west, just outside the windshield. The thunder rocks his stolen car and he has to think this weird moment, one of such visual intensity at the time of the supposed Second Coming's arrival, means something quite huge.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"What the hell was that!?" the doctor that had just announced he was able to get the infant out safely calls to the room in shock

"Dean, what the hell?" Lizzy asks into his ear as he hovers over her until the shards stop falling and the sheer confusion sets in.

"I have no idea," Dean says to her as the generators kick in, the lighting dimmer than before but not completely detrimental to the work at hand.

"Alright, we have light," the second doctor that had been waiting to jump in directs once the emergency power starts up. "Let's move quickly here. We have a lot of hemorrhaging…"

Very cautiously Dean stands back up, making sure there's no glass left on Lizzy as he does. She's fine and he relaxes for just a second. Then, out of curiosity, he looks back to the doctor that had just been talking before the odd blast. His world tunnels out on him, vision pinpoint focused and ears blocking out anything else going on in the room, as he sees the tiny form of a little human being held by the surgeon that had been working on his wife. There's blood on him, a lot of blood, but the doctor carries the small baby to a heated table close by where he's swarmed by the staff.

"Please, Dean," Lizzy asks lightly. "How is he?"

"Doc, something…  _anything_ …" Dean tries again, desperate for any news of any kind to come their way. The baby didn't seem to move much when he first saw him and he's certainly not making any sounds.

"There's a laceration on his right upper leg that must have been from the initial injury," the doctor calls over his shoulder as the second set of staff rush in and begin working on Lizzy. "But his lungs sound ok, he's breathing just fine on his own. I'm just talking preliminaries here but other than his leg…"

Right then the loud, powerful sound of infantile crying fills the room.

"... Lizzy, you're the proud mother a healthy baby boy."

"Oh God, thank you," Lizzy sobs out at this, speaking to whoever as the relief washes over her instantly. "Thank you, thank you…. God, thank you." She drops her head back on the table and finds it in her to relax finally as the tears pour out of the corners of her eyes. Her boy is fine. Nothing else matters now. If her Sammy is ok then her job is done.

His jaw hanging slightly lax as his eyes are just glued to Sammy, Dean fights to not break down right then and there. His boy is fine. He's healthy. His voice is louder than he could have ever imagined it could be and what a beautiful thing it is to hear even if it's crying. Sammy's healthy and alive. His son, the little being that he and Lizzy created out of sheer love and far too much sex drive, is there with them.

"How does he look?" Lizzy asks up to Dean with a tear-stained face as he stands there watching the crew of nurses clean the infant up.

"Awesome," Dean awes easily, his breathing hard with shock.

"Yeah?" Lizzy tears up all over again as her voice weakens some more. "He look like you?"

"He has your hair," he smiles a little, seeing a wispy crop of thin, dark brown hair every time the doctor moves his arm out of the way.

"Oh," she lets out within a grateful sob. "Is he beautiful?"

Dean turns back to her and smiles wide, ready to let her know he looks just perfect, but the smile disappears when he takes in her face. It's slackened, her eyes hollow looking and struggling to stay open. And her skin is pale, so pale. He flashes back to Los Angeles, the aswang hunt that nearly took her life. She looked just like this when he almost lost her.

"Lizzy?" Dean questions just as her lids slip closed.

The heart monitor stops beeping right at that point, the tone suddenly even and unbroken.

"Lizzy!" Dean squeezes her hand but it's lifeless in his grip. "L!"

"Flat line. Let's move, people!" the doctor calls out.

"What's happening!?" Dean shouts to anyone that will listen and once more the same nurse that had been with him before is at his side.

"We need to leave," she tells him and gently takes his arm and shoulder, pushing him towards the door and making him let go of his wife, his whole life.

"I'm not leaving her," he quickly informs her, standing his ground. He then looks to the doctor working frantically on his wife. "What's wrong with her!?"

"I'll explain as we leave," the nurse promises as the doctor ignores him in order to try and save the woman on his table. The nurse then pushes him out the door. "Let them work. We need to follow your son."

She practically drags him out of the room, Dean's eyes catching his wife's lifeless face one last time before they're gone.

Once in the hallway they walk quickly, following along with the incubator his son is being wheeled into the NICU in… or so he thinks that's where they're going. He's pretty sure someone said that in the OR…

"She's bleeding profusely," the nurse starts talking as they enter an elevator. "The doctors were having a difficult time stopping it. The wound she incurred was a bad one but luckily for your son she took the brunt of the damage…"

She keeps speaking but Dean's eyes drift to the right of him, the sound of crying making him turn away.

Sammy. His son is lying there in the little plastic housing, monitors attached to his skin and a bandage already on his thigh as he cries with all his might. Dean presses his hand to the Plexiglas, not able to actually touch his son in the situation.

His emotions are far to mixed for him to react to anything just now. The fear for his wife combined with the thankful relief that Sammy is here safely… he can't figure out how he's supposed to feel right now. Maybe that's why his body is choosing numbness. It's easier.

"… an emergency hysterectomy."

The phrase the nurse spouts reminds him that she's still talking to him and yanks him back into the conversation.

"What?" he asks her, not sure he heard right.

"They're performing an emergency hysterectomy on Lizzy. It's the only choice they had. Her uterus has been very badly damaged and is the source of the uncontrolled bleeding…"

"They can't do that," Dean blurts out with fear.

"They have to…"

"No!" he denies once more. "Lizzy… she, she wants more kids. She wants to have more.  _We_  want…." He looks back to Sammy with a new perspective. That's his one, his only.

The nurse shares a sympathetic look with him as the elevator doors open, Sammy being wheeled out first.

"Dean, they have no choice. They're trying to save her life and that's at all costs."

Dean closes his eyes, his face wrinkling with heartache. What more could this world possibly place on his wife?

"Bright side… your son is here. He's healthier than any of us could have hoped and he's going to need you, Dean."

He looks at her and nods.

"Let's go follow them," the nurse leads him out of the elevator again. "They're going to double check everything, make sure he's as healthy as he appears so far. That little boy needs you, dad. Be strong."

"Yeah," Dean blows out a breath and narrows his attention to one person at a time. "Yeah, ok." They start to walk and as they do Dean remembers something crucial. "I'm the same blood type. As Lizzy. If you need blood just let me know. I know she… she lost… a lot."

"I'll phone that down right now. That could be really helpful."

She starts to leave and Dean begins to remember things he needs to mention in this situation.

"Uh, my, uh, uncle is downstairs in the waiting room. He came in with us. Could you tell him where I am?"

"We can go get him and bring him up," the nurse offers.

"Thanks… and my brother's supposed to be here… um, I don't know when…"

"We'll have them direct him up here when he arrives. We can handle everything, Dean. Anything you need you let me know."

He washes a hand down his face and moves on, keeping his mind on just Sammy right now. It's the only thing his wife asked of him and it's the only way he'll make it through this.

* * *

After being told he was wanted by Dean, Bobby nearly sprinted through the directions he was given to the NICU. With everything happening there's no way his kid was in any shape to be alone right now. He's going to push aside his own guilt and stupidity of getting possessed and being a large part of what happened so that he can ground that boy as much as he can. Dean's a strong man, he knows that, but no man is strong enough to handle all of this on his own.

He reaches the NICU and immediately can see Dean standing down the hallway, his back hunched, leaning forward with his hands grasping the ledge under a viewing window. As Bobby marches down to him he takes a deep breath and calms his own fears as much as he can.

"Dean," Bobby greets as he takes his last few steps towards him.

Looking sharply to his side Dean sighs with letdown when it isn't a doctor or staff member with news for him. He's happy to see Bobby of course, but he's so in the dark about Lizzy that all he wants is news, either way it goes.

"Hey, Bobby," his voice barely gets out, the unsteady tone proving what a mess he is. "Have you heard anything about L? They tell you anything at all?"

"Nothing, I'm sorry," Bobby quietly tells him. He tried to get information from the nurses down in the waiting area but it didn't work. "But I'm sure they'll tell you something soon."

Dean just nods solemnly, his sights returning through the window.

Scanning him over, the blood still stained on his clothes much like his own, Bobby catches the gauze taped to the inside crook of his arm.

"What's that?" Bobby nods to Dean's arm.

"They needed more blood…. L needed it." Dean glances absently to the gauze before turning back to the window in front of him.

Bobby knows when to let something go so he drops it as he follows Dean's eye line and looks into the NICU. Right now there are only three incubators in the small room. He reads through the labeled names quickly and finds the one he's looking for. With shock he reads the name twice in his head, making sure he got it right.

"Samuel Robert Winchester?" Bobby questions, his eyes never leaving the infant sleeping comfortably. He's small, yes, but he looks surprisingly good considering.

"It was Lizzy's idea," Dean explains. "She said she wanted… to name him after the two most important people in her life… aside from me."

Forcing back the emotional wave that crashes onto him with this, Bobby bites the inside of his cheek. That girl of his, that Liz, she's got such a kind and big heart in her. He's floored by the gesture and he can't help the sudden thought that he really wished Karen could see this. She'd adore how far he's come and how right she was about him all along. He's made a great dad.

"That's… that's a good name," Bobby sighs, standing tall next to Dean and looking at the little boy. "Strong name."

"It is." Dean nods so small it's barely noticeable.

"How's he doing?"

"He's just fine," Dean stands up tall and crosses his arms over his chest. "He's better than fine, actually. His lungs are good. He came out breathing on his own. No, um, no medical issues to be found. Uh… he got a cut on his leg… from the knife…" Dean pauses, not having wanted to bring that up but it came out anyways. "The kid got his first hunting injury before he's even born."

"He just fits in right away," Bobby tries to keep it lighter but Dean just huffs some disgust in that. "Anything else?"

"No. Other than that he's… he's a fucking fighter."

"He's yer boy," Bobby assures him. "Of course he's a fighter."

"Yeah," Dean nods once more, keeping as much of a manly exterior as he can while washing a hand down his face to get rid of the brand new wave of tears that he just couldn't hold back. "They're just monitoring his heart and breathing to be sure and… they put a line in him. They'll feed him that way for now since… since L can't… and we don't know if…."

And he folds. Dean can't keep this fake shell of a tough exterior from crumbling. He can't. His world is falling apart and he can't handle it.

It's rare that Bobby's seen Dean cry. He can count them on one hand even if he met the kid over twenty years ago. But he's never seen Dean break. Not once.

But here he is, Dean hunched over and grasping to that viewing window ledge once more with white knuckles as he shakes with desperate sorrow.

His heart breaking for the man, Bobby pulls Dean in and wraps him up, hugging him when he clearly needs it the most.

Forehead pressed to Bobby's shoulder, Dean finally lets go. The tears fall faster than they ever have before in his life with the fear in his heart.

"We'll get through this," Bobby tries to calm him, a hand to back of Dean's head as he looks into the NICU at the little boy lying there asleep. He has no idea what he's been born into but Bobby knows one thing for certain. However this turns out that kid is going to be loved more than any kid ever has.

They just have to get through this. They all will for Sammy's sake. They have to.

"No matter how this works out… son, we'll get through this."

* * *

 


	7. Lightning Crashes

* * *

Pacing the tiled lobby floor, the nurses behind the desk eyeing him with concern, Sam waits. He doesn't know what's taking Bobby so fucking long to get down here but after the two hour drive he's in no shape to wait longer.

All he know is Lizzy was attacked, she's hurt severely, and Sammy might be right there with her.

He can't handle any more of the waiting.

"Are you sure he got the message?" Sam questions the desk staff one more time when he can't help himself. "Should you call up again?"

"Sir, just be patient," the woman behind it tells him.

"I'm trying to be but…"

"Sam!"

Looking down the hallway he can see Bobby jogging his way.

"Thanks," Sam says to the woman before hustling towards the older man. He gets close enough to Bobby and starts in on the questioning. "What the hell is going on? Is Lizzy ok?"

"She got stabbed," Bobby begins to explain but watches as Sam's eyes drift down his clothing.

"Jesus," Sam's horrified voice lets out when he eyes the blood on Bobby's clothing. "That's hers?"

"Yeah," Bobby answers while looking around. He ducks into an empty room off to the side of the corridor and flicks on the lights, pulling Sam along. Once the door is closed behind them Bobby starts in. "Crowley's henchmen took us. We were stashed in an industrial building tied up for a day before Dean found us. When he did... Dean cut us free but didn't realize…" Bobby scratches at his beard.

"Didn't realize what?" Sam asks impatiently.

"I was possessed," he fesses up grumpily and with embarrassment as he gets it over with. "One of them jumped me the second we got to that old building. Insurance they said."

"What the hell, Bobby!?" Sam complains instantly. "How could you let that happen!?"

"I wasn't expectin' demons to bust down my front door," he rebuts, the fight in his voice barely there. "I wasn't prepared…"

"You never got that sigil on you!?"

"Never got around to it."

Sam audaciously looks at Bobby, completely unsure of what to say about this besides, "We're getting you inked up the second this is over."

"Couldn't agree more," Bobby says to the floor.

"Ok… so how the fuck did we get  _here_?"

"The demon, when we were about to leave… got Liz," Bobby explains as it all replays in his head. The demon made him watch, knowing what it would do to him. "Dean tried to exorcise it while it held onto Liz with a knife to her throat. Demon got pissed and, and…" Bobby sighs and swallows hard. "Damn thing made me stab her in the stomach."

Sam can feel the invisible punch to the gut he receives with the news. He can't breathe. All the fear this comes with… he can't breathe.

"They did an emergency C-section," Bobby continues. "Sammy is out and he's just fine. They're monitoring him upstairs to be sure but all things look, look… shit, he's great." He forces a sad smile at this.

"And Lizzy?"

Bobby tries to speak but it doesn't come out at first. It hurts too damn much. "Uh, she took the worst of it. She was bleeding a whole lot…. All I've been told is they're working on her but I was given a heads up."

"About?"

Bobby finally looks up at Sam. "I was told to prepare… for the worst."

Sam takes a couple steps back and drags his hands through his hair, eyes squeezing shut as he walks around in a small circle.

The silence in the small exam room settles thickly upon them. Sam just needed time to process this all. Sammy is alive and well. Lizzy might not make it. And now Dean's gonna need him to not be a mess right along with him.

"Uh, Bobby…" Sam quietly starts, taking the keys of his stolen ride out of his jeans pocket. "Here. It's an old rusted Charger in the side lot. Get my duffle. You look like you could use new clothes and I'm thinking Dean's not much better."

"Yeah, ok," Bobby says and looks up at Sam, waiting for the man to move.

"He's in the NICU?"

"Yeah, he hasn't moved since they brought Sammy up there."

"I'll catch up with him," Sam says. "I just need a second."

Bobby nods and heads out the door, ready to be given a task. As hunters they need a job, a task to do, something to make the misery disappear through distraction. It's how they're all wired.

Sitting down on the plastic chair in the room for a moment, Sam leans his elbows on his knees and runs his hands through his hair again out of anxiety, his foot tapping a mile a minute. This isn't real. This can't be real. Crowley's a bastard, they always knew this, but Cass would never allow for this. He told them to stand down, sure. He told them, within a threat, to trust him. He's been off and secretive and conniving… but he loves Lizzy. His Elizabeth is nothing short of a daughter to him. He couldn't have known about this. He couldn't have. Sam refuses to think that Castiel had any hand in this, no matter how bad it looks.

"Castiel," Sam starts praying as really it's all any of them have right now. "Cass, you have to have your ears on. I'm know I'm not your favorite person but… you  _have_  to be listening."

It's silent and he has no clue if Castiel can hear him or if he even cares to.

"Lizzy's hurt. Badly. She was attacked by one of  _Crowley's_  demons after they took her. She was stabbed Cass… and she's not doing well." Sam bites back his sorrow and forges on. "If you have a heart, if you still have any ounce of care for any of us at all… you'll help. She's probably gonna die..." He can't believe he just said those word. "If you don't come help her… Cass,  _you're Elizabeth_  will not walk away from this. That  _has_  to mean something to you. I have to believe that you still love her. I  _have_  to. You mean the world to her even now, no matter what she's said. She's made her way back to trusting you again and you have to still care about what happens to her."

Wiping a hand down his face Sam stands up immediately and stops when the tears form. He has to keep his shit together. Being strong is his job this time. Dean needs him. No time to be a blubbering ass.

"Just get here," Sam sums up. "Sammy's alright. I figure you know he's here now since he's so important to you guys and all. But me and Dean and Bobby… we aren't exactly the three men and a baby kinda guys. He needs his mom. He needs Lizzy. If you still love her even a fraction of what you claim to… you'll come here. You'll come through for them."

Sam yanks the door open when Castiel never shows. All he's got is high hopes that he could hear the prayer and will show at some point. If he doesn't he knows that angel is officially dead to them all and Dean will most likely kill him out of sheer vengeance. That would be a shameful way to end their friendship, the only true one Dean's ever had outside of his family.

Once out of the room Sam moves fast. He drove at around ninety miles an hour almost the whole way, desperate to get to the hospital and help any way he can. Now that he's there and caught up he just wants to get to Dean.

Taking the steps two and three at a time up the stairwell he reaches the floor and rushes down the hallways, following signs as he does.

When he reaches the NICU he finds Dean in the hallway, sitting with his back against the cold cement block wall of the main hallway, his head in his hands. His posture reeks of sorrow and desperation.

"Dean!" Sam shouts out his brother's name and instantly Dean's head pops up with the sound he knows so well it hurts within the previously lonely situation.

He can't speak as he gets off the floor, having slid down there when the world got too heavy to keep holding up. The sight of his brother brings a slight calming sense over him. Sam will always do that.

And when Sam slams right into him, hugging him in instantly, he fights for composure once more. What's left of his family is all here, all by his side when he needs them the most. Recognizing that makes a dent in the fear and desolation… but only a dent.

"Please tell me they've talked to you?" Dean asks as he backs away after a solid minute.

"No," Sam answers. "They haven't talked to  _you_  yet?"

"Nothing." Dean's eyes drift to the floor.

"Huh, ok," Sam says while thinking. "I'll go back down soon if we hear nothing. I'll ask around and make someone talk."

Dean nods thankfully but doesn't look up. Sam will fight for him if need be so it's good that he's here.

"How's Sammy?" Sam pries on, looking to shift to the brighter of the two major things happening right now.

"He's good," Dean says turning to look through the viewing window he's yet to leave and Sam's yet to even notice. "Just… sleeping it all off, I think."

Turning to look with him, Sam pauses when he realizes where they actually are standing.

He looks through the window around the small room and notices the incubator labeled  _Samuel Robert Winchester_ right away.

Sam lets out a breath he's pretty sure he's been holding for his entire ride there. Inside that clear plastic bedding is the small form of his nephew, Dean's son. He sleeps peacefully while swaddled tightly in a light blue blanket, his head covered by a blue and white striped cap. There are a few wires coming out of the blanket and a thin hose up one of his nostrils but he seems to be doing well enough on his own. He looks a whole lot better than Sam had prepared himself for.

A hand clamped down on Dean's shoulder, Sam takes a few more seconds to just look. That right there is their legacy a he sees it. He knows Dean and he never really had assumed they'd help the Winchester name live on. Even when he himself was out and in college. Even when he had Jess and he hoped for a real life. Deep down he always knew the life would get them back and hold tight. He knew they'd never find the type of life they both deserve and he always thought they'd never let a child be a part of the shit they were given. But despite all that little Sammy lays there within view, alive and well. They can fight for something different with him. He can be happier than Dean and he were growing up. Sammy can have a chance and their family will fight every step of the way for that. This Winchester will represent them in a whole new light.

"He looks good," Sam says, the hint of pride within his voice clear as day.

"Yeah, he's a tough little son of a bitch," Dean says with just a sliver of pride all his own but there's mostly sadness in his tone.

"Am I allowed in there?"

"Uh, I don't know," Dean answers, really unsure of how this all works.

"You don't know?" Sam questions with surprise.

"I, uh… haven't…." Dean starts but doesn't finish.

"Have  _you_  been in there yet?" Sam asks, getting a feeling from Dean.

"No."

"No?"

Dean shakes his head.

"Why the hell not?" Sam asks with disappointment and Dean doesn't answer. "Dean, he's alone in there. Go be with him…"

"No."

Sam just gives him a look of shock.

"I can't do that," Dean says in just a little above a whisper.

"Why not?"

"Not without her," he shakes his head again. "This is everything she's ever wanted. She should…." Dean sighs heavily and swallows yet more tears. "I'm not holding him before her."

It makes sense now. Dean wanted Lizzy there, her to hold their son first like she should. None of this is happening anything like they envisioned and Dean's simply holding on to the last ounce of normal that he could find.

But he's wrong. Sammy needs his family. He's been alone in the world so far and he should have it much better than this.

"And when Lizzy finds out you made Sammy lay there alone for this long?" Sam asks, keeping the present tense alive and well in his speech. "She's gonna be pissed. Go get in there."

The fear flashes across Dean's face instantly.

"He's your son, Dean…"

"And everything  _Lizzy's_  every wanted." Dean stares back into that room again.

"No. You  _and_  Sammy are everything she's ever wanted. Both of you," Sam says, grabbing Dean by the back of the shoulders and steering him towards the door to get in. "Come on."

"I can't…"

"And I'm coming with you so no excuses," Sam tells him, Dean turning back and looking at him with hope. "What? You think I don't wanna meet the little guy? He took my name from me. I have to make sure he can live up that."

Dean takes a deep breath and sees the validity of Sam's argument. Sammy shouldn't ever feel alone. That kid is loved and held in such high regard already. That little boy deserves more than a frightened father, especially while his mother fights for her life.

Walking into the adjoining room they speak briefly to a nurse that gets them ready. They each wash their hands thoroughly and put on the requisite blue gown that is require to enter the room.

Once ready the nurse leads them inside. The second they enter the beeps and buzzes of the machinery unnerves Dean a bit but that couldn't make the anxiety worse. Why he's so fearful of the child he's been waiting impatiently for since he found out about him several months before he can't understand. Maybe it's the whole meeting him alone, without Lizzy. Or maybe the fact that he was born early and he's nervous about his health and fragility. Or maybe it's the true fear of actually being a father now that's scaring the ever-loving shit out of him.

"You're fine," Sam says quietly to just Dean as the nurse moves a rocking chair next to the incubator.

"Sit down, Dean. I just have to unhook the heart monitor. He's shown no signs of really needing to be that closely watched anyways."

Sitting slowly, Dean watches the woman work. She opens up the warm fuzzy blanket briefly to remove some of the wires that help keep a close eye on Sammy. He's tiny, somewhere just over six pounds if his cloudy memory serves, and the diaper wrapped around him looks big on him. He moves a bit, arms and legs outstretched as he wakes up with the movement, the nurse quietly talking to him in a sweet and soothing tone.

"I know, it's cold. I'm sorry, sweetie. You ready to meet your dad, Samuel?" the nurse asks the small boy as she bundles him up again, this time a little looser than before as he squirms about.

"It's Sammy," Sam corrects, throwing Dean a slight smirk.

The corner of Dean's mouth twitches at that. Sam's spent his whole life telling people, 'It's Sam,' and now here he is, making sure people know that his nephew's name is Sammy.

"Alright, Sammy it is," she smiles warmly at Sam as she lifts Sammy up and turns to Dean. "You ready?"

Dean just nods slightly as his heart pounds while the boy is eased into his arms.

"There you go," the nurse encourages as she takes a step back. "Well doesn't he look just comfortable right there?"

The second he's tucked into Dean's arms Sammy's movements go quiet and still. He settles in all too easily… Dean too.

"I'm glad you came in here, Dean," the nurse adds in once the two look at ease.

"You are?"

"Yes," she says with sincerity, fixing the infant's blanket. "I'm not really in the know about what your whole situation is but… I was tired of seeing you look so alone out there in the hall. And Sammy's been waiting to meet you, I know that much. They need contact with the people that love them right from the beginning. He needs you."

She smiles warmly and leaves them be.

Sam stands back and gives Dean time with his son. Dean needed this, he's sure of that much, and now that they're at this point he can tell it was a good idea practically forcing the man into the room.

Dean exhales a long breath as he sits there. The tiny bundle in his arms feels light as a feather… yet somehow it's the heaviest thing he's ever held.

Still awake from being moved around, Sammy's eyes move about the room, never landing on anything at all. Dean can see already that his eyes are a bright blue-green color despite them not being fully opened. His features are so small, his tiny little nose flaring once as he peers around him, making him think of how Sam's does the same thing when he's upset or reacting to something. And his lips, they're full as he purses them a couple times. He looks like he's trying to make a face, some kind of expression, but he can't yet. The world is new, so is moving within it, and the coordination isn't there yet.

And then Dean remembers something from the OR. Pulling up the knit hat Sammy's wearing just slightly he catches a peek of the thin crop of dark brown hair under it.

Sam huffs a quietly laugh. "Shit. Lizzy'll be happy."

Dean looks up at him with wordless confusion.

"He has her hair color," Sam explains, nodding to Sammy's exposed head.

"Yeah," Dean says in return. "She was worried he wouldn't have anything of hers."

"Well he definitely does," Sam comments.

"Thankfully," Dean adds in, knowing that if she doesn't pull through at least he'll always have a piece of her in his son. That thought scares him just a little too much to ponder over any more than that though.

Just looking at the small infant is addicting all of a sudden, every little change in his face and move of his eyes utterly fascinating. And holy shit…  _this_  is real love. Dean's never going to doubt this for the rest of his damn life and he'll always remember this very moment when his life completely changed. What he feels is absolute, never ending, never faltering, true and stronger than anything else love. He wants to hand the world right over to his son now that he's here and tangible and suddenly classic rock always having to be on his radio in the Impala and making sure he gets pie for dessert seem like such frivolous endeavors. Everything from here on out, if not done for his little boy, is completely frivolous.

"You look good like that," Sam compliments, enjoying seeing his brother in this position as he observes with crossed arms. Dean's always had this side to him even if it's usually glazed over in macho bullshit and an air of uncaring superiority. Truthfully no one cares more than Dean. That's why he's the guilt-laden mess that he is. Dean loves with all his heart at every turn and this right here is the perfect place for him. Fatherhood is what Dean was made for and Sam has clearly always known it.

"He's so awesome," Dean says with awe as he opens the bundled blanket a bit to free Sammy's arms. He holds one hand lightly between a thumb and forefinger, the infant's whole hand fitting in there so easily. Sammy's teeny fingers close around his index finger and his heart swells. "Damn it, L should be here for this."

"Now that you're settled in I'm gonna go get word on her," Sam decides, Dean looking all too comfortable with his son in his arms. "You ok in here for now?"

"Yeah," Dean's downtrodden tone answers. "Not hearing for this long has be good, right? If it was bad they'd have come up here way sooner?" He looks up to Sam for some form of small hope if possible.

"No new is good news," Sam says easily enough. "I'll be back as soon as I can. And Bobby's getting some clothes for you so when he shows up you should change."

"Yeah… yeah, that's a good idea," Dean absently answers when he remembers he has blood still dried all over his clothing but his eyes remain glued onto his son.

"Alright. I'll be back up soon."

Sam leaves the room and the second he does his face falls. He drops his gown off with the nurse and heads down the hallway, glancing in on Dean and Sammy once as he does. They look good, comfortable, but incomplete.

His heart races horribly as his pace picks up down the hallway. Those two need their matriarch. Hell, they all do. Without Lizzy they're screwed here with a little baby on their own and Sammy doesn't deserve to be motherless like he and Dean. That existence is dark and difficult and Dean could easily become the angry and vengeance-fueled man that their father was if she were to leave him. History can't repeat itself.

And now, seeing it firsthand makes Sam feel awful about his poor opinion he held of John for so long. He didn't deserve that. He did his best, Sam knows that for certain now, and the loss he experienced making him go far off the deep end is now completely justified in Sam's mind.

For that he can only hope Castiel heard his prayers and still cares enough to come down and help.

* * *

"Excuse me?" Sam uses his kindest voice possible, knowing he needs to be nice to hopefully get anything he can out of the staff.

"Yes?" the nurse behind the front desk of the ER asks without looking up at him, shuffling papers and appearing extremely busy.

"My sister-in-law came in here a few hours ago and I was hoping for some information on her status."

"Her name?"

"Elizabeth Winchester," Sam answers and the woman pauses, looking at him seriously with the name he gives her. "I can tell you know something." It's probably not good considering her reaction.

"No one has come up to talk to her husband yet?" she wonders, her face fallen.

"No. I was hoping to get an update on his behalf…"

"Let me get Doctor Hunting for you," she quickly says and disappears.

Sam walks around a bit and prepares for the absolute worse. He's feeling terrible about this whole thing now that he's seen the nurse's attitude. It wasn't positive.

"You get anything?" Sam hears Bobby ask as he comes towards him, fresh and blood-free clothing on and a duffle over his shoulder.

"I'm waiting for the doctor that worked on her," Sam says, his voice serious and somber. "I don't think it's good. At all."

"Balls," Bobby grumbles, the word not having its usual oomph and effect. He's not ready for this.

"What do we do… if, if it's… bad?" Sam asks, his stumbling fear finally showing up now that Dean's out of sight.

"We do what we always do," Bobby says without any confidence. "We push on. We do what we can and we help Dean raise that little boy right."

"How do we do that without her?" Sam sighs and starts to tremble a little from somewhere deep at the thought.

"I… I don't know," Bobby shakes his head with complete loss. He really doesn't. They're all going to need her around, no one more than Sammy. Bobby closes his eyes briefly and lets his guard down just this once in front of Sam. "How the fuck did we get here?"

"Are you the family of Lizzy Winchester?" the doctor Sam's assuming is Doctor Hunting asks, clipboard in hand and somber face in place.

"Yes," Sam eagerly answers. "What's going on with her?"

"Lizzy came in here with a very dangerous, very serious wound," he starts, gripping the clipboard tight as he talks. "Normally when we see a wound like that we can go right in and treat it specifically but with Lizzy that wasn't the case. When we scanned her on her way in we could see that the amniotic sac had been damaged and it was urgent that we got the baby out safely first and foremost. She told us she was eight month in and that's a perfectly safe timeframe for the child to survive without much concern."

"He is," Sam informs them, having seen it firsthand. "He's doing great."

"That's excellent to hear," the doctor smiles briefly before continuing. "Once the infant was safely out we could then concentrate on helping Lizzy. She had a lot of damage done to her in the incident and the bleeding was out of hand. We did our best to control it but no matter what we did and even with several transfusions she was hemorrhaging at a rate we couldn't compete with. Our final option was to remove the most affected organs, that being her uterus and a portion of small intestine." The doctor pauses now and looks at both of the men in front of him. "As we fought for her it became clear that it was a battle we weren't winning. She slipped into a coma caused by heavy trauma and blood loss. Right now she's surviving on a ventilator."

"But she can come out of it, right?" Sam asks with the last little shred of hope he has for her. "She's just… checking out while healing. That happens…"

"It does happen, yes," Doctor Hunting agrees. "But… with Lizzy I don't hold much hope." His face softens a bit. "Her brain activity is minimal. She's completely dependent on machines for every function. I don't believe she has much time."

"How much?" Bobby's shaking voice asks, the world wavering a bit for him.

"An hour, maybe a few if she's a fighter. She doesn't have a DNR does she?"

Sam covers his eyes with his hand as he struggles to breathe with the mention of a Do Not Resuscitate order. "No. But it's what she would want." He knows her well enough.

"That's a decision for her husband then," the doctor mentions.

"I'll talk to him about it."

"Good. Then I'd suggest you visit her and say your peace. If you need anything you just ask. We have last rites services and grief counselors…"

"We're fine," Sam cuts him off. "Where is she?"

"Our ER is quite full right now and we wanted to give your family the privacy you need. She's in long term care on floor three."

"Uh, oh…ok. Um… Can you just let me tell her husband, please?" Sam requests, not wanting this to come from any strangers or doctors that couldn't save her.

"Of course," he assures Sam.

When nothing more said between the two of them as the doctor leaves them, they both are stunned. Their reality has changed so much in just the couple seconds it takes to stab a person. With all the hype surrounding Lizzy's pregnancy it's surreal to think that this is the outcome, losing her.

"I'll tell Dean," Sam says quietly while feeling like he's dreaming. This can't be real, it can't.

"We should go see her first," Bobby suggests. "Let Dean have the time he needs with her after."

"We have to make it quick. We don't know when…" Sam stops there. He can't say it. He takes a deep breath.

Bobby nods and tries to control the overwhelming anxiety he's feeling. "Let's just go now."

* * *

Standing in the room side by side, Bobby and Sam just stay frozen at the foot of the hospital bed.

Sam hasn't seen so many machines and monitors all working at once since Dean after that car accident that ended up taking their father's life.

It's frightening to see Lizzy like this. Her pale skin and slack expression, the tubing down her throat that regulates her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest exaggerated and too perfectly timed for it to be natural, her hair a knotted mess with blood still dried in it…

"This is wrong," Bobby whispers out to mostly himself and when Sam looks at him the tears look about ready to fall.

Sam doesn't respond because he completely agrees. Everything about this scenario, about this larger than life in his eyes woman being in that bed and losing the battle of her life is just so completely wrong.

Bobby moves first, taking slow and cautious steps to Lizzy's bedside. He takes his trucker hat off and holds it in both hands, twisting it with anxiety and sorrow as he looks down at her. Eight years of training her, housing her when she needed it, talking her off the ledge when she couldn't save someone, waxing philosophical after they both have a little too much to drink, her cleaning his house during visits and keeping him company after weeks of solitary at home… eight years to love the hell out of this girl and make her his own and this is how it all ends.

One shaky breath in and a choked sob out and Bobby, for the first time in his life, actually cries in front of any of the people he considers his kids. He gently pushes a few matted stands of hair out of her face, looking at her and thanking whomever for this being pain free for her at this point. Her expression is relaxed, not a single worry line on it, and that makes this exit a little easier to handle, though not much.

She changed him, he knows that. After Karen he'd become a hardened and awful individual, one that stayed away from people and kept to himself. But when he met Lizzy and Lou they tugged at his heart right away. For the first time in close to two decades he cared again, wanted to help these girls and make sure they were prepared and generally just good in life. The only other people he'd let in were Sam and Dean with their helplessness as children before then.

And he's never once regretted letting those girls into his life… until now. Seeing Lou die was hard enough. Saying goodbye to Lizzy too hurts more than anything he's felt since Karen passed and it makes him wonder if it would have been easier to have never met the girls in the first place.

Bobby leans forward and ducks down, whispering something into her ear that's meant for just her. Comatose she probably didn't even hear him, he knows that, but he had to say it. When he's done he stands tall, grabs her hand for just a couple seconds, and turns to leave.

"Meet you upstairs," Bobby says, his voice demolished by his emotions and he books it out of the room without look at Sam once.

And now Sam's left alone with her.

Dragging a chair from against the wall to her bedside, Sam takes a seat. He then reaches out and holds her hand, clamping down on it with both of his own, and doesn't know what he could possible say or do right now that would do justice to their friendship.

She believed in him when no one did. She wasn't even fearful of him when he'd gone off the rails or mad at him when he let Lucifer free. For some reason Lizzy has always understood where he was coming from. She got him as much as anyone could, especially after Lou was gone. He never felt he deserved the woman in his life that has truly become his sister over time but he always had her. She's listened about Dean being an ass and about Lou's absence being just too awful and even missing Ruby at times and the power the demon blood gave him… and she never blinked or turned him down.

He opens his mouth to say all that but nothing comes out. Whatever he says right now, whatever final words he chooses to share with her, it won't be enough.

"You don't deserve this," Sam finally gets out as the tears fall. She truly doesn't. Lizzy was right there, right at the finish line, about to become a mother, and now that Sammy's here she's never going to meet him. She's earned better for herself. This is injustice at its best.

Shaking his head he keeps that thought out for now.

"Nothing I say to you will ever be enough," Sam explains to her. "What you've done for me… just, thank you. Thank you for all of it."

Letting out one big sob after admitting that, Sam struggles through this.

"I promise you… Sammy will be fine. And so will Dean. I'll kick his ass into shape and make sure of it. And I won't let him become dad." He looks her over one last time. "Don't worry about them. Don't. Just make sure that… you go. Don't stay here. Go find your parents and, and Lou's parents, Ellen and Jo… and you know eventually we'll catch up. We'll find you again up there, you know we will."

Sam gets up and lets her hand go. He leans over her and kisses her cheek. "I love you too," he tells her since she's always told him she loved him first. "Goodbye, Lizzy."

Once outside the room, Sam leans against the hallway wall and cries. He can't stop it from happening. He knows he has to be stronger than this for Dean right now but he can't. Dean isn't the only one losing a person here. Granted she's different to him, she's his complete life, but still, Lizzy means the world to Sam in her own way and losing her feels so impossible right now.

He's losing a sister, one he never thought he'd have, and he doesn't know how to get through this himself nonetheless be strong enough to help his brother handle it all.

* * *

"You have no idea how lucky you are, kid," Dean says to his son, Sammy now sleeping in his arms as they sit quietly in the rocking chair. He hasn't moved since the nurse first put him in his hold as he could never even try to tear himself away. "I mean, most people would look at what you've been handed as a crap deal… but trust me, it's not. You're mom…." Dean pauses and clears his throat. "You have the best mom there is. She's so far beyond awesome and… she loves you so much. You're the only thing she's ever wanted. Man, when she meets you, ha. She's gonna flip out."

Dean carefully fixes the knit hat on his head, pulling it lower on his left side to even it out.

"I had the best mom once," Dean tells his boy. "Your grandma, she was a lot like your mom. Beautiful, kind, warm, a little bit of a hard ass sometimes… but she'd do anything to make anyone happy, especially her sons. That's definitely your momma. And the second we get the A-ok we're heading right to her. I can't wait for her to get a load of you. No one will ever love you as much as she will."

The idea of this makes him smile slightly, knowing just how excited his wife will be to see their son for the first time.

Eyes moving to the window he sees Bobby standing there, looking in at him and Sammy. With the nod of his head Dean invites him in. A few minutes later and he's walking towards them, gown on and prepped.

"You hear anything?" Dean asks the older man.

Bobby doesn't answer that at first. He doesn't think he can say such an awful thing right now, not when Dean's newborn son is in his hold. He doesn't have the heart and he thinks it best to wait for Sam.

"Nah," Bobby answers. "I brought you something to change into. It'll be huge because it belongs to the Sasquatch but it'll do."

"Ok," Dean answers and returns his focus onto Sammy.

"Boy, does he look good for the scare he gave us all," Bobby comments, seeing the child looking healthy and content.

"He's perfect," Dean comments quietly.

"Dean, I'm…" Bobby starts to apologize for getting his ass possessed and doing this to their family. "I just… I'm sorry…"

"Bobby?" Dean asks, not looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"Shut the hell up," Dean tells him, fixing the blue blanket to cover Sammy better. "It wasn't your fault. We have to get your ass to a tattoo joint the second we leave here but it isn't your fault. It's Crowley's. So shut up."

Bobby does shut up, standing there silently for a few minutes as he looks over the baby, their newest family member. His guilt is still there yet it's suddenly manageable with Dean's words.

"Alright, you're up," Dean announces and stands up out of the rocking chair.

"Up for what?"

"My arms are tired," he says easily enough. "You take him for a while, gramps."

"Oh, uh…"

"Bobby, sit your ass down," Dean nods to the rocking chair, his tone stern.

With clearly no choice Bobby takes a seat. Dean bends down a bit and carefully hands his son over to Bobby to hold. Yes, he'd rather wait for Lizzy to hold him next but it doesn't matter so much now. Bobby is family and with all the help he gave in preparation for Sammy to arrive he deserves to get to know the kid right off the bat.

Awkwardly Bobby sits there, the tiny infant squirming a little in his arms and he's not really sure what to do. This is all new to him.

"Never thought I'd ever be here in my life," Bobby jokes with sheer honesty, looking up at Dean with a small smirk.

"Yeah, well… get used to," Dean says in his default, tough tone. "Because you're gonna be helping out a lot."

"I think I can manage that," Bobby says, his tone lighter and kind as he looks over the beautiful child in his arms. He sure can manage. He'd be more than happy to help and he knows at this point just how much Dean is going to need.

Looking into the viewing window when Sam finally gets up there, he sees Bobby now in the rocking chair by Sammy's bed, Dean standing behind them as he stares off at the floor with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks anxious and on edge… not devastated. Bobby didn't tell him.

Wanting to get this over with fast because they don't know how much time Lizzy has, Sam knocks on the window. When Dean looks up at him he gestures for him to come out into the hallway. Quickly Dean runs, bursting through doors and making it to the hallway with his blue gown still on. Sam knows something.

"What's going on with her?" Dean asks with wide eyes staring right at him.

"It's not good, Dean," Sam says, eyes darting around the room a bit. "She lost a lot of blood."

"And I gave her some…"

"It wasn't enough," Sam tell him. Quick. Do this quick. "She wouldn't stop bleeding for a really long time and her body couldn't handle it. She's in a coma."

Dean blinks once as he lets this sink in. "Ok. So… when is she coming out of it? How long do they think before she's up again?"

Sam tries to answer but can't when his voice won't come out of his mouth. Instead he shakes his head.

"No?" Dean questions him, not willing to understand the meaning. "What do you mean no? No what?"

"They're saying it's a matter of hours…"

"No, no, no," Dean denies instantly, taking a step back from Sam and turning away from him. "Don't say that to me. Don't you say that to me right now, Sam. Don't…"

"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam says, his eyes closed as he tries not to cry all over again. "She's, uh… she's not gonna make it. They're gonna need you to make the decision…."

"No!" Dean says one more time and looks at Sam, the fury of injustice setting in. "No! She not dying, Sam! She's L!"

"She's only human…"

"She's freakin' Wonder Woman."

"And even Wonder Woman has her weaknesses."

"She just became a fucking mother!" he starts to truly panic. "She can't go now! She hasn't even met Sammy yet! She needs to meet him."

"Dean." His brother stops freaking out for just a quick second with the way Sam says his name. "You need to go say goodbye. Before… it's too late to," Sam explains with watered over eyes.

The crushing confusion on Dean's face as he looks at Sam is unreal. Sam's never seen this before, not on his big brother. Not even in the worst of situations.

"She just… she hasn't, not yet… Sammy?"

The way Dean says everything within using his name is utterly crushing. "I know," Sam stops him, a hand on his shoulder that Dean immediately jerks away from. He just stares his brother down with frozen fear.

"Where is she?"

"Third floor."

And Dean's running. He's sprinting as fast as he can, needing to find her and see for himself that she's as bad as Sam tells him. This makes no sense and until he has proof he will not believe it.

* * *

 


	8. He Can't Be Like Me

* * *

But then he comes to a stop in her room and he believes it completely.

His wife, buried under hoses and lines and dried crimson blood, is unmoving in her hospital bed. Her lifeless state and emotionless face lie there, making the whole thing far too real for him to handle, and he loses it immediately. Her skin is still pale, near porcelain, and she looks nothing like the woman he's been with for years now. Lizzy is always full of life. But now….

"No," Dean lets out from deep in his soul at her state, the worst pain he's ever felt in his life throbbing harshly inside his chest. "No. Lizzy, no, no," he keeps repeating as he walks to her side, scanning her over with sheer horror and disbelief.

This can't happen. It can't. This isn't it, this can't be the end of them. It's only really been a few years. He won't accept this.

"This isn't happening," Dean whispers to himself, the panic gripping so tightly to his entire being. "L, come on," he says, grabbing her hand and patting the back of it to get her to wake up. "Get up. You gotta… you gotta come with me. Sammy. You gotta meet him. He's been waiting to meet you, L. He's freakin' perfect and just, just awesome, and… he needs you. He needs his mom."

Lizzy doesn't respond at all.

"L, stop this shit. I'm completely lost without you on this one so… you… you need to help me. Open you're your eyes and come help me. Please."

She doesn't move just like he knew she wouldn't but he doesn't give up.

"Damn it, L, don't do this to me," he begs of her, tears constantly falling as he shifts on his feet while looking at her, expecting her eyes to open at any second. "You said you'd always be there. You said you'd never leave me so get your ass up… and just  _don't_. Don't leave me. Don't leave  _Sammy_."

Nothing. It gets far too real for Dean in that moment when even with his desperate pleading she still doesn't respond. He exhales a shuddering breath that turns into desperate sobbing, the surreal truth just stabbing him in the heart with what this all means. Hands pressed to his head, the helpless situation rains down on him.

"No," Dean says again with desperate denial, leaning over her bed with his forehead on her middle, on what was her pregnant stomach, his body crumbling over her right along with his soul. "No, no. You fight this. Fight this and come back. L, you're stronger than this. You can…." His arms come around her back, lifting her slightly in a desperate hug, "You can't. You just can't do this."

His face buried into the hospital gown draped over her lifeless form, he can't breathe within the sobs. He feels like he's been gutted, everything he needs and loves right there in his arms but not there at all. This is everything he's feared from the day he met her and knew he'd never be able to live without her.

"He can't be like me," Dean cries into her middle. "He won't even remember you. He'll be like Sam and me and… no, please. L, please…"

Her silence hurts more than Hell ever did. He leans up, face to face with her still expression. He couldn't stop himself when he kisses her forehead once, something sad yet purely sweet as the tears saturate his cheeks.

"Come back to me," he says quietly, his voice just above a whisper. "I know you. You're a stubborn ass just like me. You've done bigger, harder things than this, baby. You're a fighter. Just… come back… please… come back…."

"She can't."

Dean stands up tall and spins around to see Castiel standing by the foot of Lizzy's bed, his own fearful face peering at her dyer state.

"What the  _hell_  are you doing here!?" Dean asks with sheer fire in his eyes as he looks at the absent and betraying angel. He stands up tall ready to kill his once friend if it comes to that.

"Dean…"

"Don't do that!" Dean yells, his anger too much to handle as Castiel tries to use his friend-voice on him. "She's dying because of you!"

"I didn't do this to her."

"You might as well have!"

Castiel knows what Dean says is true to a point. He made Crowley promise not to touch Sam and Dean and underestimated that partner of his and his devious ways. Castiel never verbally said to stay away from Elizabeth.

"I'm sorry," Castiel apologizes when he doesn't know what else to say.

"Not good enough, Cass!" Dean says, his sorrow killing him again as the sobs start once more, breaking Dean's personal rule of no crying in front of other men not named Sam. "She'll be dead within an hour. Sammy's never gonna know his mom. I'm never gonna have her…" his voice dies with that. He clears his throat before he can continue. "She's dead because of you. I lost her, my son lost her… because you're a lying, deceiving piece of shit." He points at Lizzy lying there. "You did that.  _You_."

When Castiel watches Dean staring down at the love of his life with such pain he folds easily. He never wanted this.

"I am still sorry."

"Too little, too late," Dean says, picking up Lizzy's hand again. "I don't give a fuck if you're sorry."

"Well then, it's good that I'm not here for you," Castiel tells him, walking to Lizzy's bedside. He studies her over and realizes how far gone she is. Luckily she isn't so far gone that he can't still help.

A hand pressed to her forehead and without an ounce of fanfare he heals her up in just seconds.

"She'll be awake in some time. I am not sure how the medical professionals in this building will react to this but… Lizzy will be fine." Dean just stares at Castiel blankly with his words, making the angel a little uncomfortable, so he repeats, "She will recover. I saved her."

"That's it!?" Dean shouts with audacity.

"I don't understand," Castiel tells him, shocked by the anger he sees from the man after saving his loved one.

"All this waiting, and worrying, and thinking she's going to die and you show up NOW!?" Dean takes a large step towards Castiel, fire boiling in his veins. "I just started to say goodbye to her! She's been fighting for her life this whole time! Where were you hours ago!?"

"I was busy," Castiel honestly explains. "Raphael…"

"Fuck Raphael!" Dean shoves the angel a step back. "Where were you when she was bleeding out on the table!? When she passed out and never woke up!? Or when they took from her something that can't be put back!?"

"Took from her?" Castiel asks with sheer confusion.

Dean's face wrinkles with sadness. "When she wakes up… I have to tell her that she can't have any more kids. She… they couldn't fix everything, all the damage done to her…." When Castiel stays quiet he knows the angel can't fix this for her or else he would already be doing it. "She wanted to have more, Cass, you asshole! We wanted more. L's gonna be devastated by this.  _Devastated_."

"But she'll be alive." Castiel looks away guiltily, knowing that one child was all that Heaven was to afford the two of them anyways.

Dean stares at what he used to call his friend with sheer disbelief. "What happened to you?"

"I'm still me…"

"Stop saying that because you're not still you! I know who you were and it's not whatever  _this_  is!"

Castiel thinks it over and sighs. "Then I believe you would call it Heaven's bullshit. It's gotten to me," he answers with an edge while looking at Lizzy one last time. "You should alert the staff of her miraculous recovery."

Castiel is clearly about to leave and Dean forces himself to sack up. "Thank you."

The angel pauses but doesn't look at Dean, his eyes remaining on Lizzy. "And I'm sorry. I meant it."

"I wish this changed anything."

"So do it," Castiel admits, looking up at the man he wishes he could still call his friend. "I just wanted to make things as right as I could. If Elizabeth dies… then what would have been the point of all this? Don't ever forget that you're not the only one that sees her for what she is and loves her."

Castiel flies off, leaving Dean alone in the room. He takes all of two seconds to run off and find some of the medical staff to come tend to his wife that he's thankfully not about to lose.

* * *

He stares down at the little baby in his plastic bed, eyes glued to the child as Sammy looks around the room. His feet kick away under the blanket he's wrapped up in and Castiel can't help but see the Winchester family already in this boy. He's feisty like Lizzy was and just as curious, his eyes searching around constantly. He has much of Dean written into his face aside from his nose. Sammy's nose he got from Sam without a doubt. And those eyes are exactly the color of Lou's and Dean's combined, at least for now.

The angel lifts Sammy up after studying him over once. He settles him into his arms, Castiel's body remaining ridged and unsure as he does. He observes Sammy some more, this time with an internal focus, and can sense the cut on his leg instantly. It bothers the infant but he doesn't let it affect him too much. The new world is far too distracting for him to care about a cut. Yes, he's a Winchester through and through. With just an index finger to the baby's forehead Castiel heals him. This child does not deserve to feel pain just yet and Castiel feels quite at fault for the fact that he does.

"So you're the savior I've been waiting so long for," Castiel says, looking at Sammy. He fixes the infant's blanket to better cover him and keep him warm. "It is a privilege to meet you, I must say… although I don't envy the path laid out for you. It'll be difficult. Very difficult."

Sammy continues to peer around and do so silently.

"Luckily for you you've been born into a certain headstrong family. They've been known to buck destiny. With them you'll be fine. I'm certain of that."

It's instant this time around for him. When Elizabeth was born he didn't immediately take to her like he already has Samuel. He was nervous, unsure of the young human. He knew nothing of the human experience or the beings themselves, just what he'd observed. However he found very quickly how endearing the girl was, her wide-eyed outlook and loving nature shining through from the start. By the time she was a walking talking two year old he found himself adoring her, and then completely loving her when her first day of school came around. He stayed with her unseen that whole day, weary of mean children and her first foray into the world alone.

Elizabeth he looked at as his own by the time she was five. Samuel is already his kin. He cares about Elizabeth to a point that her very own offspring is instantly a part of him as well.

"I will watch over you," Castiel promises right then and there. "You'll never walk this Earth alone. Samuel, I apologize for letting your entrance into life be so frightening. I wish I could say that you won't ever experience trauma like that again but I simply can't. You are a Winchester after all. But I will do what I can to lessen it and shield you from it all for as long as I can."

Right then he can see a nurse looking in at him through the viewing window, her face dropping with panic.

"Welcome, Samuel," Castiel prepares to depart and places Sammy back into his bed. "Welcome to the world. I am honored to know you already."

The nurse bursts into the NICU room with fear but when she does the room is empty save for the three infants in their beds.

The man in the trench coat that she just saw in there holding Sammy is now gone.

* * *

"Lizzy."

The calm and soothing voice calls out her name and she knows it instantly. It's the most familiar and safe voice in her life. She loves that voice.

Dean.

"L, open your eyes. I know you're awake," he keeps talking, the warm tone making her feel better by the second and she lifts her lids slowly and with slight struggle.

At first everything is blurry, the off white color of what she assumes is the ceiling above her seeming fuzzy.

"Hey there," she can hear him greet as his face comes into her field of vision when she looks to the side. She blinks several times as he comes into focus slowly but surely. She can feel the smile spreading across her face to see him. When he grins right back she can't help but feel a tug at her heart. Everything must be ok. Dean wouldn't smile at her like that and be so calm if anything was wrong.

"Hot Shot," she says fondly.

Dean's grin goes full wattage as he takes a seat onto the bed next to her, leaning over and kissing her hello. Brave face on, he doesn't give away anything of the traumatic past day they've had. He doesn't want her to know how scary and hopeless it became while she was out. This is going to be happy for her if it kills him.

"Mm," Lizzy hums happily, when he pulls away from her and sits down on the edge of her hospital bed.

"How do you feel?" Dean asks her, his hand in her now blood-free hair as he checks her over out of hunter-habit. He made sure the staff cleaned her up well before she woke, getting rid of the evidence of the emergency situation they'd been in. One drop of blood and she'd freak.

"Shockingly good, uh, considering… um…."

Considering… what? She knows whatever she's been through was bad, really bad, but she can't seem to grasp it all. Lizzy fights the haze and remembers slowly what happened. She was stabbed, she was bleeding, bleeding so much and they brought her to the hospital. And she was so scared… so frightened but not for herself. She was scared… for Sammy. Sammy!

"Oh, God!" she springs up, sitting tall and pressing her hands into her suddenly much smaller stomach. She doesn't feel the full size of her pregnant belly there anymore. "Sammy! No! Dean!?"

"Hey!" Dean calls out in as calm a tone as he can manage while holding her wrists away from her now healing wounds on her torso and trying to relax her sudden alarm.

"Oh God, what happened!? Dean, what the fuck happened!?"

"Stop. It's ok."

"But  _Sammy_ …" she keeps right on panicking.

"Is right over there," Dean tells her, nodding to the clear plastic bed just a few feet away from her.

"He's…" Lizzy tries to say but her voice simply fails. She shakes her head while trying to get the news to make sense. She remembers the hysteria and the horror show, the OR and the chaos, but nothing past that.

"Lizzy. It's alright," Dean smiles at her, holding her face in his hands to get her to focus on him only. "Sammy's here. He was born at one-twenty-seven last night. He's six pounds, two ounces. Yes, he was born a month early and he's a little small but he's healthy as a friggin' horse. They checked him over and everything is exactly as it should be. Our boy's just fine."

Her eyes well up instantly. "I don't understand."

"What do you remember?" Dean asks her, looking to clear it all up if he can.

"I remember… Bobby's. The demons got in. Bobby was yelling and fighting them off…. Oh, oh God… baby, they killed Cass. Dean, they killed our puppy. Oh, they killed him." Her eyes spill over instantly with the memory and she presses a hand over her mouth with sorrow.

"I know," Dean nods and kisses her cheek. "I found him. Sam took care of Cass for us. He's got a nice spot in the back of the house so he'll be near us."

"Oh, my Cassie. Fuck… Dean…" Lizzy sighs deep as she tries to collect herself.

"L, I'm sorry," Dean apologizes for the severe loss, holding her tightly when she delves into her sadness. "I know how much you love him."

"I love him so much. And you love him too," she points out.

"Yeah," Dean relents. "He was a good dog."

"He was our family." She wipes her eyes and can't seem to get past the loss in the moment, the first clear moment she's had since the animal was attacked. "God he was… he was  _ours_."

"I know," Dean says to her and hugs her in close. He does feel bad that Cass had to die in all this, very bad. He lost the best friend he's had in the past two years. That dog loved without question, not unlike himself, and the idea that their mess got him killed hurts more than he could explain in words. But right now something really great has happened so he needs her to switch her focus onto that. "What else do you remember?"

"Um, the demons… they took us somewhere, Bobby and me," she starts as she backs away from the hug to really think and wipe her eyes. "The big abandoned place… we were tied up there for hours and hours. I had to pee so bad. And then… you came." She smiles up at him with something warm and loving before that drops again. "And Bobby was possessed."

Dean nods, telling her everything she's said so far is correct.

"He stabbed me," she continues, her hand to the lower side where she'd been attacked. "And after that it's… it's a blur. I know we came to the hospital and I remember being in the OR… I think. You were there."

"It was touchy for a while," Dean lets her in on, his hands holding onto hers again. "You gave me a good scare but it all worked out. You're gonna be just fine and Sammy is safe and sound."

"He's ok?"

"More than ok," Dean assures her.

"Oh God, seriously?" she checks again, ready to collapse in sobs with thankfulness.

"L, he's a badass. He got through it all like a total pro."

"Oh fuck," Lizzy shakily exhales, her eyes spilling over even more. "Sammy's ok? Our boy's ok?" She can't help but ask again.

"Lizzy," Dean says to her, holding her face gently again and making her look right at him so that she'll hear him for good. "Sammy is perfect. He's perfect. He's alive and healthy and ready to say hi to his mom as soon as she's awake. Our son is with us and he's doing really good."

And it's all too much. Her grateful disposition overrules everything else as she grips to his wrists as tightly as she can and just cries. Her boy is ok. Her Sammy is perfect.

"Come here," Dean says to her comfortingly, pulling her close as she cries. This is the first time in a day that tears are being shed but they aren't awful and desperate. They're happy. Dean smiles to himself for that as he presses a kiss into her hair and holds her there.

"I was so scared," Lizzy confesses to him into the t-shirt he's wearing, her breath hitching. "I thought I was gonna lose him. Dean, I was so fucking sure…"

"Everything's ok now. It's ok, you don't have to worry about anything anymore."

"I love you so much," she tells him. "I didn't want to leave you, not like this."

"You didn't," Dean points out and pulls away to cup her face again. "You didn't leave me and you didn't leave Sammy, just like you promised. You're here, Sammy's here… everything is  _good_."

Lizzy nods and he kisses her again, so relieved that he can still do that.

When he ends the long kiss he presses his forehead to hers with closed eyes, taking a selfish second to revel in her presence. She's still here.

"You wanna meet him?" Dean asks her while wiping away her tears with his fingertips, knowing she has to be itching to do so. She nods her head furiously and he huffs a little laugh to himself with her excitement. "Lemme get him."

Watching closely with sheer anxious excitement, she observes Dean moving to the small bed just a few feet away. He reaches in and so gingerly lifts the small bundle that had been inside it. She's sure her heart will explode when she can tell how comfortable he already is with their son, the man she knew he always has been deep in there somewhere shining through brightly and without effort.

He smiles wide the whole time his boy is in his arms, a feat that most Winchesters fail upon. Dean's happy, she can see it radiate from him, and this kind of true happiness is nothing Lizzy ever expected to find once she dove into hunting and nothing she assumed Dean could ever feel after his mother died… but here they are. Her husband is happy and so is she, more so even.

"He's been asking for you," Dean jokes when he hands Sammy over, having waited for this moment from the second he was born. Without missing a beat and without an ounce of awkwardness she takes him in her arms as if it's second nature, like she's done this a million times before.

"Oh my God," Lizzy's face wrinkles despite her smile when she gets a good look at him. He's sleeping but it doesn't matter. She can already tell that he's the sheer picture of perfection. "Dean. He's so beautiful," she cries to her husband.

"Yeah," Dean agrees and settles in next to her, his legs stretched down the bed and arm around her shoulders. "He's a good looking kid, I'll give him that."

They sit there without talking as Lizzy acquaints herself with her son. Her eyes look him over repeatedly, never getting enough of him. It just feels so good to actually be able to hold him for once, to see him, to have him in the world.

"Oh, I love him so much," Lizzy says in a whisper as she leans her head into her husband at her side, her pitch high with her emotions taking her over. "He's amazing."

Dean laughs quietly to himself. This was exactly how he felt right from the second he held Sammy too.

"Check this out," Dean says to her as he reaches for the knit hat on Sammy' head. He slowly pulls it off, not wanting to wake him yet, and she lets out a delighted laugh.

"He has dark hair! Oh, it's like mine," she says happily through slowly rolling tears of joy.

"Same color as yours… or what it once was, I guess…" Dean jests as he runs a hand through her long hair that's currently black and has been so many different shades since he's met her.

"Shut up," she sniffles out as she runs her fingertips over Sammy's soft hair. "Does he have my eye color?"

"No. They're bluish."

Her eyes snap up to him quickly. "Blue?"

"Yeah… well, like a green-blue I guess, really."

"I have, like, no people in my family with blue eyes except… Louie…." she tells him with sheer hope.

"Huh, you know… they're a lot like hers, actually," Dean answers, realizing just then that it's true. The color is a lot like Lou's if memory serves, just with a little green to them.

"Well, at least for now," Lizzy nods and looks up at her husband. "They'll probably change."

"Maybe," Dean responds, peering back down at their son as Lizzy traces his tiny face with her index finger, learning him and absorbing all that she sees.

"He has your lips," she tells him. "Lucky boy."

"And he flares his nose like Sam when he's about to lose it," Dean tells her what he's noticed. "On the rare occasion that Sammy actually does get upset or starts to cry you can tell he's about to when his nose flares."

"Oh my God, that's so cute," Lizzy comments without even having seen it yet, wiping her eyes with the idea that Sam has his stake in their boy too. She loves that idea.

"And helpful," Dean adds. "We know when the bomb's about to drop."

"I can't wait to see that," Lizzy absently says, getting lost in looking over her little boy again.

Through the good moment they're finally getting to have Dean remembers that there was one thing he needed to tell her still. He told the medical personnel that he'd handle it, the initial blow of it at least, and the more he delays it the worse it'll be. Everything is roses for them despite this one after effect that even Cass couldn't fix.

"L," Dean quietly says her name as he prepares for this one mentally. "Um… I hate to do this right now and maybe kill a good moment but they're gonna talk to you about it soon enough and I wanted to be the one to tell you first." She looks up at him with nervousness. "Things got a little tough for a bit when we got here."

"I know," Lizzy recalls, not wanting to talk about the bad now that everything is good.

"You don't," Dean informs her and her face shows her confusion. "You were bleeding, a lot. They couldn't stop it and they had to take some measures to save you that… that, uh…." He stops talking with the heaviness. He just doesn't want to have to tell her this. He doesn't want it to be true.

"Dean? What did they have to do?" Lizzy questions with serious concern.

"I, um… I just need to know… is only Sammy gonna be enough for you?" he asks slowly and with much pain.

Lizzy's face drops with the question. "I don't understand what that means."

Dean pauses and his chin quivers a little. Lizzy know what that means. It's bad.

"Whatever it is, just say it," she tries again. "I can handle it."

"You can't have any more kids," Dean just lays it out there for her, swallowing back the sadness it brings him. "You had an emergency hysterectomy to help save your life. We can't ever have more. It's just Sammy."

She stares at him with a face of unsure surprise. She can feel the stab of pain in her heart with the news. It takes a moment of contemplation and serious concentration on not letting this ruin her current moment before she can look back down at her son in her arms. "Then we better not fuck Sammy up too much. No second chance."

Her jesting isn't what he expected to get from her right then. That was more his style. "Are you sure you heard me?"

"I heard you."

"And… are you ok?"

"No. Not at all." She keeps her voice even as she keeps her sights on her little boy, her one and only. "Will  _you_  be alright if we never have another?" Lizzy questions him. "Can you handle that, if Sammy won't get to be a big brother?"

His face lightens up with the question as he answers without really knowing really how he feels about this one just yet. "Yes."

"Then so can I," Lizzy responds, her fingers outlining Sammy's peaceful face once more, so in love with him already that if it's just the three of them then she can make it through. She might have wanted a bigger family but if that's not in the cards then she can handle it. "Holy shit. We're actually here."

"Seems insane, right?" Dean easily feels the same as her.

"So crazy," she responds.

"I certainly wasn't ready."

"You never were gonna be."

"Ouch," Dean takes offence.

"No, I'm not saying anything bad. I just know you," Lizzy tells him, opening the blanket around Sammy to look him over. "You do your best when you're thrown kicking and screaming into a situation. You'll be fine, daddy."

Dean nods and agrees with the observation. She makes a good point.

After getting plenty of time to first lay eyes on her little boy, Lizzy sigh while completely enamored.

"I love you," Lizzy says, looking up at Dean with serious and heartfelt eyes. "I do. I know what all this must have done to you so I know I owe you a huge thank you."

"You don't owe me anything," Dean assures her.

"I do, whether you think so or not, so thank you anyways," she says with a cocked eyebrow.

"Any time." He smiles at her as she returns all her attention to their son. Their son. Still such a mind-blowing thought.

Lizzy checks over every inch of him, making sure he's ok. She reads the almost too small to see hospital bracelet on his right wrist, Samuel Robert Winchester, and has a faint memory of discussing his name while in the OR. It's the perfect name for their little badass, representing all that Dean and she hold with utmost importance in their lives.

She then catches a patch of white beneath the soft blue blanket lower than the simple white onesie he's wearing. When she investigates she sees the gauze taped on his leg.

"What's this?"

"He got a little cut when… you were attacked," Dean chooses his words very carefully. "Nothing life threatening or anything."

"He was hurt?" Lizzy questions with sadness.

"Just barely."

"He was born with an injury?" she asks in a devastated tone and Dean understands right away. Sammy's being ushered into life with a wound already on him, at the hands of a demon attack. The child is already a hunter. "He's gonna have a scar."

"You're the one that called him a badass first," Dean tries to turn it around as she peels the gauze back to check the wound. "This is just proof."

When she lifts the bandage up to check the damage she's confused. "Dean, there's nothing there."

"What?"

"There's nothing on his leg. Look."

When he takes a peek he sees how right she is. His leg is just fine, no cut on his skin at all.

"Fucking Cass," Dean grumbles, knowing the angel must have paid their son a visit without them knowing.

"He was here!?" Lizzy questions with fear.

"Yeah. He helped you out and he must have done the same for Sammy."

Lizzy doesn't respond to that because she doesn't know how. She wants Castiel nowhere near her family after everything he's put them through but he came through for her and her son just like he promised so she can't be totally angry. She's so conflicted by him at this point that she has to put him out of mind for now to enjoy this moment of her life.

Peeling the medical tape carefully off his leg as he no longer needs it, Sammy stirs with the feeling. He moves his legs a few times as his eyes open up.

"Oh, hey. Hey there, Sammy," Lizzy says in a light, so happy voice as she tosses the bandage onto a side table and covers him back up to keep him warm. "Hi, sweetheart."

Sammy looks around, his eyes everywhere as he squirms in her hold. She can see the bright blue-green irises clear as day now and her heart stops for a second. She knows that color and that look.

"That's Lou," Lizzy whispers. "Oh my God, that's my Louie in there."

"You think so?" Dean questions immediately.

"That blue," she says staring at Sammy's eyes. "That's Lou's eye color but… it's greenish too. Like you."

"Good," Dean says, recalling the shade now that it's been pointed out.

"Now I hope they never change," Lizzy says as she really wouldn't mind being able to see a little bit of her sister every day in her son.

Sammy keeps moving around the little that he can and Lizzy shifts her hold on him.

"Yeah, you gotta watch out," Dean laughs a little as Sammy kicks his legs a bit, having spent some quality time with the boy already while waiting for Lizzy to wake up. "He's a mover."

"Like I didn't know that already," she laughs, watching him intently. "He's been moving for months now. Just beating his mommy right up."

With a permanent smile on her face as she watches Sammy closely, Dean kisses her temple out of honest happiness. He's never actually felt this happy before, not that he can remember clearly at least. He has his wife and his son. Their family is all here. How could he be anything less than happy with that?

Sammy's tiny hand makes its way through the loose folds of the blanket around him and reaches up, Lizzy only too happy to take it and let him wrap his fingers around her thumb.

"Oh, I'm gonna spoil you so much," Lizzy tells him in a once more choked up voice and Dean gets a good laugh out of her. "I am. I'm never gonna be able to say no to you."

"Wait until he cries," Dean says lightly. "You'll turn that right around and quick."

"No way," Lizzy says to him. "He's not allowed to cry. He's not allow to ever be sad for even a second."

"You're so unrealistic," Dean tells her, smiling wide.

"And you have a head start on dealing with him so shut up," Lizzy says jokingly, knowing he probably felt the same right away too.

"Actually, so far he's not much of a crier," Dean tells her. "He's been really quiet, only crying about twice for a couple minutes. He must take after me since you cry all the damn time."

"I'd punch you if I was holding the most awesome person in the world right now."

His face feels like breaking with the size of his smile with that.

"Hey, uh, since he's awake and so are you, can I get Sam and Bobby?" Dean asks. "They've been dying to see you."

"Please," she nods excitedly, getting another kiss from him before he gets up.

"I love you," Dean reminds her, one more kiss for the road. "More than you know." And he leaves the room after that sweet comment.

Once alone for the first time with her little Sammy, Lizzy sighs with sheer love down at him.

"I'm sorry your start was so rough, sweetie," Lizzy speaks to Sammy from her heart, his hand still hanging onto to her thumb. "And I'm sorry you have to deal with all the crap your parents come with. It's not easy, it probably never will be, but I know one thing that will make it worth getting stuck with us. Baby, you'll never have to wonder if we love you. Your daddy and I love you so, so much, Sammy. We will never put anything above you, never."

She knows he probably can't really see her but as she talks Sammy's eyes stop roaming around and look right up at her, the blue color of his irises somehow so bright in the florescent hospital lighting.

"Look at you, handsome boy," she says, heart melting as he seems to lock onto her. "You're gonna give your daddy a run for his money, aren't you?" His fingers stretch out and let her thumb go. Lizzy leans down and kisses his little hand before she wraps him back up a bit, keeping him warm.

She grabs his knit hat and waits for Dean to come back to put it back on with his own two free hands. Doing it with one won't work and she's definitely not putting him down yet.

"I can't believe you're here," she says to him with still running surprise and glee. She presses her cheek against his, just so in love it's overwhelming. "You're all I ever wanted. I never knew it for so long… but I definitely see it now. I wanted a family all along, I wanted you and your father… I've been waiting much more than eight months for you, Sammy. My whole life, I've been just waiting for you to find me."

Sammy yawns wide just then.

"Oh, am I boring you with my honesty?" Lizzy laughs a little at him, knowing the exertion of being awake for a few moments must be draining him, especially when he was woken up by her by accident.

"Hey!" Sam greets far too loudly and way too excitedly as he pushes the room door open with anxious energy and a total lack of grace. His awkwardness when excited and relieved is always entertaining to her.

"Uncle Sam!" Lizzy quickly calls him with far too much glee.

He ignores her slight and makes his way quickly over to her bedside, hugging her carefully as she holds Sammy. "You feeling ok?"

"Like a million bucks," she answers as he backs away. "Angel mojo is great for the healing process."

"No shit," he comments as he looks her over. She looks like she never went through the hell she did and like he never had to sit down next to her and say his final goodbyes. Relieved isn't even the word for it. He then looks down at the baby in her hold. "He's awake," he smiles out, not having seen much of Sammy quite yet and very excited to catch him while not sleeping.

"For now," Lizzy tells him, Bobby coming to stand at her other side. "He just yawned so wide I could see his tonsils so he might conk out soon but it was nice to meet him."

Wordlessly, Bobby puts an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his side, a hug of sorts from a non-huggy kind of guy.

Lizzy grins up at her father figure. "So I guess you know his name by now, Grampy Bobby."

"I do," Bobby smiles at her knowingly.

"You ok with us stealing the rights to the great Robert Singer?"

"No problem with it whatsoever," Bobby assures her. "Consider me honored."

"Good," Lizzy tells him and suddenly looks at him funny as her brain recalls something deep from within it. It's incomplete, the message she remembers, but what she can properly hear in Bobby's voice she feels the need to respond to. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"I already knew," she tells him with too much confidence.

"Already knew what?" Bobby asks with confusion.

Lizzy curls her index finger to get him to come closer. When he does she pulls him closer by the shoulder until his ear is next to her mouth. She whispers, "I've considered myself your daughter since you took Lou and me in. I'm yours, Bobby. And I love you too."

Looking at her with shock he doesn't respond. She heard him. How he'll never know because she was in a coma, but she heard him loud and clear when he gave her his parting words. He told her he thought of her as the daughter he was always too scared to have, that he loved her like his own. For all she's done in uniting this family and pulling him out of the dark how could he possibly not just adore her by now?

Quickly so as not to have the entire room look at him like he possessed, Bobby leans down and presses one fast yet adoring kiss to her temple, a move he rarely ever does and would deny he did for the rest of his life. It's just too damn good to see her alive and well and with her son that he gives in to the sappy for a second.

"So I guess you've all met already," Lizzy says to the room, moving past the moment for Bobby's sake because she knows he has to be uncomfortable by now. "Which is nice because I don't have to hand him over and share anytime soon."

"Uh, that's not exactly true," Dean speaks up, standing at the end of the bed and looking at his brother. "Sam's been kinda taking the reins today, doing the dirty work." He doesn't delve any deeper into the meaning of that and turns to his little brother. "You haven't even held him yet, have you?"

"Uh, well… no," Sam answers hesitantly. "But it's fine. The kid needs his mom."

"And he has her," Lizzy smiles at Sam. "And he'll be sick of me soon enough. Uncle Sam, come here."

"You sure?" Sam questions, unsure if he should take Sammy from his mother so soon. "I don't wanna impose when you just woke up."

"You're not imposing," Lizzy just short of scolds him, shifting Sammy in her hold and getting ready to hand him over. "Get your ass over here and get to know your nephew before he passes out from excitement."

She gives him a look that tells him silently that he'd better listen to her. Sam reaches down and takes the small baby from her if not to just get her off his case preemptively.

When he stands up tall, the tiny little boy easily held in his much larger arms, he smiles. Sam barely remembers what a genuine smile feels like with the road he's had to travel in life but this… this is a genuine smile. The unused muscles in his face even hurt a little.

"H-hi, Sammy," Sam stutters as he greets the baby, his blue eyes looking upward towards the sound of his voice. He sighs with a smile at the boy with his name. "Hey."

Dean gives Lizzy a look that says it all. They made the right decision. The way Sam holds their son as if he's made of glass and worth his weight in gold along with the sheer awkward awe in his voice makes the naming worth it. He's going to be great with him and there's no better way to prove how much they love Sam and their son than to pass that name right along to the little boy.

Lizzy holds out the knit hat to her husband and he takes it.

Dean walks to stand next to Sam as he very carefully pulls the hat back onto Sammy's head to keep him warm.

"And cover up that head of hair?" Sam jokes. "Makes him look like his mother."

"If he could be so lucky," Bobby jokes.

"Damn straight," Dean agrees and huffs a quiet laugh, looking over Sammy in his uncle's hold.

"Oh my God." Sam's eyes snap up to Lizzy when he sees it, really sees it. "His eyes."

"I know," Lizzy smiles at him sadly despite her smile. "Damn near the same as Louie."

"But… a little greener?"

"Yeah. It's perfect."

Sam huffs a laugh and looks back down. That blue, the brightest and clearest blue he's ever seen, is right there in his nephew. "Haven't seen that in years," Sam says back, his voice distant as his eyes lock onto the infant. "He's… ah…" His voice gets caught up and he gives up, choosing to look at his older brother and let him know everything he's trying to say within an expression, just like always.

Dean just nods before he looks away and heads for Lizzy. He stands right next to her, his hand on her shoulder just to ensure this is real. Everything happening right now, Bobby there, Sam holding his son, Lizzy so happy and excited about motherhood… it's what he envision. The way they got there wasn't anything like he'd hoped for them. She never called him a fucking bastard for knocking her up while having contractions and he never near fainted with what her body was expected to do… but they got here. They got to the place where everyone is healthy, happy, and they're all together as a family.

He leans down to her, getting just an inch from her face before reminding her very quietly, "I love you." He kisses her, lingering a moment and making sure she knows how much he means it.

"Yeah, yeah," Lizzy jokes when he ends it and brings her hands to his jaw. "You're just saying that because I gave you a son."

Dean grins wide at her with that and kisses her one more time, unable to stop himself.

"I think I'm boring," Sam announces to the group as he takes a seat in one of the chairs in the room that have been clearly placed there for visitors, Sammy still tucked away comfortably in his arms. "He passed out almost immediately after I got him."

"That sucks for you," Dean tells him instantly.

"Why's that?" Sam questions, settling in for a long haul without thinking.

"Because every time he's nuts and crying and freaking out when we can't figure out what his deal is… we're handing him over to boring Uncle Sam to put him down," Dean logics, thinking longevity with the move.

"That's fine with me," Sam says, his voice far off as he's glued to the resting face in his hold. He saw his big, wide, and already expressive eyes along with his lips that say Dean completely. Sam also saw the dark hair that's all Lizzy without a doubt and those blue eyes are all his long lost Lou with a hint of his brother. But it's the infant's pointy nose somehow already making him think that there's a little Sam Winchester in this Sammy Winchester. It small and distinct, sloping just right to make Sam sure he's got his own stake in the child.

"So how long before I can blow this joint?" Lizzy asks Dean, ready to get her son home already.

"Couple days," he tells her. "They want to make sure you're ok and Sammy's as healthy as he seems. Then we can go."

Lizzy nods with disappointment.

"Yeah, don't do that," Dean says to her with the reaction. "We're gonna need that time. We have nothing."

"The hell do we need?"

"Clothes," he points out. "And not just for him. You don't have anything either. And we need a car seat to get him back to Bobby's… and a car."

With wide eyes Lizzy says, "Damn. I didn't think about any of that."

"When would you have?" Dean smirks. "You just woke up."

"Good point."

Looking around her hospital bed, her father, brother, husband, and son all there, Lizzy can't help but smile wide. This is all she's ever wanted and it's here… and she's here to enjoy it.

She sighs happily and Dean looks over to her.

"What's that about?" he questions her.

"You don't see it?" she questions gesturing to the full room.

Dean looks and it doesn't click. "What am I not seeing?"

"How I'm so fucking outnumbered now. It's ridiculous," she laughs a little and smiles warmly and with excitement to be completely surrounded by men. Her men. "I'm so screwed."

* * *

 


	9. Sleep Deprivation

* * *

It's shocking how fast a routine can settle in when thrown head first into a situation.

One week after Sammy was horrifically brought into this world the entire family is back home. With a couple emergency runs that have all but maxed out the last of their fake credit cards, they finally have everything they needed to make sure little Sammy is cared for, raised right, and just plain spoiled at just a handful of days old.

The nursery is quiet at two-thirty in the morning, all three people within it fast asleep. Lizzy and Dean have found that with the late night feedings it's best just to sleep in the bed they never took out of Sammy's room. The kid eats every short couple of hours so why bother even trying to leave the room.

Lizzy is the first to wake this time when Sammy's cries start up, staying quiet at first with some small sounds of discomfort but she knows how short a time that will last for. He's just amping up to go full blast.

"Dean?" her voice barely gets above a whisper as she pokes her sleeping husband in the side. "Dean." She tries again. "It's your turn."

"Uh-uh," he denies instantly without fully waking up or even moving a muscle. They're both absolutely exhausted with the week they've had. At the hospital Sammy would get fed if he was in the NICU and they didn't have to get up every two to three hours. Now it's completely up to them and it isn't pretty. It's now funny to think that hunting is what they used to call a tiring schedule to keep.

"No, baby… it's your turn," Lizzy tries again, sidling up next to him and ready to push him out of bed if she has to. "I got up just two hours ago…."

"You didn't pump anything," he reminds her, rolling onto his back and slinging an arm lazily around her shoulder. "I can't feed him. You have to."

"Fuck me," Lizzy complains just as Sammy's full voice starts crying out for someone to get going. She didn't leave any bottle in the fridge for Dean to pull middle of the night snack duty so she's up and has no choice in the matter.

"Go," Dean pokes her now and she shoves him back for good measure.

"Ok, Sammy," Lizzy calls to her son as he wails, her movements getting faster as she doesn't want to wake the house if they're sleeping. She climbs over Dean and out of bed and grabs a white burp cloth from the makeshift changing table. "I got ya', honey."

Rubbing her eyes, Lizzy gets to the edge of the crib and looks in. In his warm, fuzzy one-piece pajamas the little boy squirms as he cries with all his might.

"You'd think I haven't fed you in a full day," Lizzy comments as she lifts him up and pulls him close to her, his head on her shoulder as he calms temporarily with the change. She kisses the side of his head with a smile despite the fact that he just woke her up… again. "You're a glutton like your father."

"You're not funny," Dean says in a half asleep voice.

"I'm hilarious," Lizzy rebuts while sitting down on the rocking chair and shifting Sammy about.

She sighs as she sits there, wishing with everything in her that she was just a few feet away, curled up next to her comfortable looking husband and sleeping peacefully, but this one was on her. She forgot to leave Dean a bottle in the refrigerator. And now she'll have to do this again in three more short hours or less… probably less. She must have been too exhausted to think straight when she fell asleep and forgot.

Groaning as she pulls the left side of her thin strapped tank top down, she's become very shameless already with having to, as Dean would say, whip one of the girls out whenever. Sam gets weird about it and Bobby tends to avoid eye contact with her even when she covers up with a blanket but hey, it's only been a week. They'll get over it.

"Ok," Lizzy quietly cheers when Sammy latches on surprisingly quickly this time and starts to go to town. "Getting used to this now, aren't you?"

"He already going?" Dean asks with tired shock, knowing it's been a learning process for the boy.

"Yeah, thank God… or whatever," she responds with a completely drained voice. "Make it quick, Sammy. Momma's fucking tired."

"Gutter mouth," Dean grumbles from the bed and turns to face her, his eyes barely open.

"I'm too tired to censor myself for the kid that can't even understand me yet." Liz gives him a slight smile.

"You wouldn't be so tired if you left me something to feed him with," Dean challenges, his head resting hard into his pillow as he faces her without getting up.

"Yup, this is all my fault," she smirks slightly before closing her eyes and letting her head rest back on the chair with a yawn.

She's surprised that the feeling of his eyes on her doesn't stop after a couple seconds. Peering over to him in the dim light of the room, only lit by the hallway light coming in through the cracked door, she can see him smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No… what is it?"

"Nothing, it's just… you're awesome."

Lizzy's eyes widen in surprise. "Well, aren't you getting soft in your old age."

"Shut up," Dean fires right back with an annoyed face.

"And I think you exaggerate," Lizzy tells him as she looks down at her little boy in her arms, the idea of her child in her hold instead of  _in_  her still so insane to her.

"No," he denies her modesty. "I don't." He keeps his sights on her as she stares down at their son, her eyes full of love. It's only been a week, Sammy's only an infant and he's yet to walk or talk back to her or sneak a beer… but he can see it. She's a mother through and through and her instincts are quite shocking. She's never faltered once, never been nervous or unsure of herself, and her Sammy is her world. Dean used to take that place in her heart, and he's still in there solidly and with a shocking amount of never ending and unbreakable strength, but Sammy gets the number one spot now and he's perfectly comfortable with that.

"Nah, I'm not awesome," Lizzy tells him, her hand on Sammy's head as her thumb runs soothingly across his tiny cheek and back again. "He's awesome."

Dean huffs a laugh at that.

"And all we had to do is bang a lot and boom, awesome kid," Dean jokes.

"Pretty damn good deal for us then," Lizzy laughs right back, her voice sagging with sleepiness. She sighs. "I'm just still so happy he's here. I think about how he got here… and to think what could have happened…" She trails off when her voice gets choked up.

"Doesn't matter," Dean reminds her. "He's right here. We found good luck. That's as rare as unicorns with rainbows shooting outta their asses for us so leave it alone and just be happy."

"Gutter mouth," she calls him out in turn.

"Be thankful, but don't do the what-if crap," Dean tells her, ignoring the name calling. "What-if is what makes a person go nuts."

"So can sleep deprivation," Lizzy yawns again. She's still recuperating herself and the lack of sleep due to being the milk maiden isn't helping much.

"You're fine," he brushes off her complaint.

"Says the guy that doesn't have a little person attached to his chest mouth first," Lizzy laughs quietly as they both hear Bobby's cell phone ringing from the bedroom across the hallway.

"Late night booty call?" Dean questions as he picks his head up to look out the hallway.

"One can only hope," Lizzy jests right back.

They can hear him talking and the tone of his voice grows more urgent suddenly. Now wide awake, Dean sits up as they both hear Bobby's bedroom door fly open and his boots pounding down the hallway and to the first floor, followed by him calling out for Sam.

"I'm gonna check this out," Dean says to her, rushing to grab his jeans from the floor and pull them on.

"Just hand me a blanket," she points to the one hanging off the railing of the crib. He hands it over and heads downstairs immediately.

Sam and Bobby are in the study as Bobby puts his phone down.

"Balls!" he shouts with serious anger.

"What's happening?" Sam asks him with real concern.

"They got El," Bobby says with harsh fear and anger.

"El?" Dean questions and looks to Sam, getting the vibe that if he's gonna get full, comprehendible answers from someone right now it'd be Sam.

"Dr. Eleanor Visiak," Sam explains. "I went to go see her while you were on retrieval duty last week. She's… well, she's not exactly human."

"What does that mean?" Dean asks.

"She's the key," Bobby explains, typing an address into his phone.

"To?"

"Purgatory," Sam answers. "She's from there."

"Yet she's here now," Dean gets it suddenly. "So… she'd know how to get in or out."

"She needs us to get to her," Bobby tells them as he starts rushing around gathering weapons. "She's not doing too well I don't think. Crowley got her and she got away. She's hurt."

"Wait… you said she's not human, right?" Dean points out, not seeing why they'd have to help her so much.

"She's not human but she's… good people," Sam lightly explains, giving Dean a face that tells him not to push this one. He discovered the link between Dr. Visiak and Bobby while researching Purgatory on his own but never told Dean about. He knows not to push it. "And she can fill us in on what she might have told them."

"El wouldn't break like that," Bobby says with certainty.

"Let's hope not," Dean nods and heads for the side door to pull his boots on. "Aright, where is she now?"

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Bobby questions him as he already has one foot in a boot.

"We gotta go get the doc…"

"Like hell that's a 'we'," Bobby scolds him. "You ain't going nowhere!"

"What!? Bobby, shit... you can use another person…"

"Dean, it's just a pick up," Sam assures. "She got away."

"And what if Crowley's found her again, huh?"

"Then you won't be there to get killed by him," Bobby determinedly says. "You stay here where you belong.  _They_  need you." He points up the stairs. "We can handle this alone. Liz can't."

Dean looks to Sam for some help but Sam offers nothing more than a steeled face telling him he agrees with Bobby.

"What the fuck is this, forced retirement?" Dean questions, angry all of a sudden to be told he can't do something.

"If only I could actually enforce something like that," Bobby dryly jokes with a shitty attitude as he heads for the door. "Sam, let's head out."

"Call when you know what the fuck is going on at least?" Dean asks, already feeling like the odd man out for being told he can't come. He feels like he's letting his troops down.

"Yes," Sam agrees to the terms. "Just go to sleep, man. You look like shit." Sam smirks and pats his shoulder.

"I blame Sammy's shitty feeding schedule." Dean rubs his eyes with one hand and places the other on his hip, back sagging with exhaustion.

"This tired you'd be no help to us anyways, son," Bobby comments while putting his jacket on. "Just rest up when you can and look after those two. You'll hear from us."

Sam smiles at his brother one last time and they're gone, the door in the kitchen closing loudly and making it very clear to him that he's been officially benched.

As much as he wanted to head out with them, his hunter instincts screaming for him to run out the door and dive into the car, he wants to stay at home with his family. He's got a whole new set of instincts pushing their way into the forefront. Uh, so torn.

With a huge sigh, Dean walks to the desk in the study and grabs his phone and it's charger before making his way back upstairs to Lizzy. At least he can try and get another two hour nap in once Sammy's done eating.

When inside the nursery again he starts to plug in his phone while Lizzy asks, "The hell just happened out there?"

Sitting on the edge of their bed Dean lowers his head into his hands. "They left to get a friend of Bobby's."

"A friend?" Lizzy asks with confusion from the rocking chair, pulling the blanket off her shoulder and not covering up since it's just Dean in the house now. "What's wrong with him?"

"Ah, well… apparently Bobby's friendly with a Purgatory native," Dean explains and Lizzy's eyes widen. "He didn't know until very recently."

"Ok…"

"She was picked up by Crowley," Dean explains, his knee bouncing a mile a minute with anxiety for his family to be out there without him. "He wanted to know how to pop Purgatory but she got away. They're trying to get to her now."

"Did she tell him how?" Lizzy questions with fear.

"God, I hope not," Dean answers, a hand washing down his face with stress.

"You think Cass was in on it?"

"Have to assume he was," Dean very lowly says, far too unhappy about the idea of that.

Lizzy eyes him over once and can see it clear as day. "They made you stay."

"How'd you know?"

"Look at you," she nods at him, his hands wringing. "You're a fucking ball of nervous energy. You want to be out there."

"Can you blame me?" Dean asks her. "They're now a man down. I can't back them up…"

"Because you have to back me up," Lizzy says with a little bit of sadness.

When Dean looks at her he can see the mixed emotions. "I'm not saying I don't want to be here."

"I know that."

"Do you?" he questions her, not believing it.

"Dean, you've been family first since you were born," she smiles wide. "And now your family is half out hunting and half tied up at home being shockingly normal. I can see the conflict. I get it."

"Of course you would," he rolls his eyes with her always understanding nature.

"And thank you for staying," Lizzy says. "Believe it or not… they're right to make you stay. You're needed here more than out there. They can handle this. Me? Eh, not so much."

"You're a natural…"

"And I'm so tired my brain actually hurts," she jokes with a small grin. "I need your help."

He looks at her, realizing she's just trying to make him feel like the decision Bobby made for him was actually the right one, and he takes it for what it is. It's very rare that Lizzy asks for help. Much like himself she's stubborn and headstrong as hell. When Lizzy says she wants help he knows he'd better give it.

"You should try and make a bottle or two before you pass out again if that's the case," he warns her as he kicks off the one boot he realizes is still on his foot. Maybe he really is too tired to have headed out anyways. "I can do the next couple meal times if you do and you can get some sleep."

"I think I just fell in love with you all over again," Lizzy jests with a wide smile to hear him say that.

"Yeah, yeah," Dean responds easily as he dives under the covers of their bed and gets comfortable. His head on the pillow he tells her, "Just smack me in the face when he starts crying again, huh? I might not even hear it."

"No problem," Lizzy laughs at him, watching him snuggle in and stay on the outside edge of the bed, leaving her with the space that's between him and the wall. Even now, even at home in the most protected place they have he makes sure he's covering her, keeping her safe in every possible way.

With an adoring sigh Lizzy sits back into the rocking chair, her son held close to her, and tries her damnedest to not fall sleep.

* * *

"Scrambled?"

"Baby, I'll take whatever you wanna make me," Lizzy grins wide to Dean as she places Sammy on his back in the infant seat they picked up just days ago in a small panic, the couple having not been ready for the little boy's early arrival. "You wanna make me eggs then I will let you decide what style." She laughs a little at that.

Sammy sits snuggled in with his light blue fuzzy one-piece pajamas on, his eyes wide as he looks around him. She smiles when he appears more than content to sit there quietly in his seat on the kitchen table. "And you," Lizzy says to the baby, tickling his cheek with her index finger. "You're gonna stay nice and quiet and cry free until mom is done eating breakfast."

As she keeps wriggling her finger into the tiny baby's chubby little cheek he eventually makes a lopsided face and something slightly close to a smile for the first time.

"Ah!" Lizzy cheers a bit when she sees it, never letting up. "He's ticklish! He smiled!"

"Yeah!?" Dean asks in an excited tone he's less than delighted about letting out just then. He looks over to see his Sammy reacting to her, something akin to a smile on his wide awake face.

"Oh my God! You are the cutest thing ever!" Lizzy says to him, pulling her finger away from him to give it a rest and kissing his forehead and then other cheek in rapid succession. "Uh, I love him so much it's stupid."

Dean laughs at her for this, knowing it's completely true.

"Hot Shot, please tell me you saw that," she looks at her husband hopefully.

"I caught it. He's not supposed to be able to smile yet so that might not have been what that was but… close enough," he grins wide as he continue to beat a few eggs together in a bowl, watching her with their son. He thought he loved her, he really did, but now… he  _knows_  he loves her. Lizzy is everything in his and his Sammy's world and at right about this moment Dean's pretty damn sure that just means they won the game of life. His boy and he… they'll be fine with a woman like Lizzy with them at every step.

"Oh man, I still sit back and watch him and just get… so fucking… uh, I just love him," Lizzy tries her best to explain herself but words fall short. "He's so fucking cool."

"And his first word will be fucking if you don't calm down," he smirks with her cursing.

She sighs with an eye roll, "I'll work on it."

"You better," he says back, pouring the eggs into the heated frying pan. "Because I'm not gonna be the one explaining to strangers at the grocery store why it is my son wants to get a fucking Snickers in the checkout line in a few years."

"Hey," Lizzy says to grab his attention and he turns to look at her. "I hear you. Loud and clear. I'll work on it."

"Thanks," Dean says to her with a hint of sarcasm, not sure she can actually help herself. He doesn't want his kid growing up like he did in so many ways, one of them being that he wants him to not swear all the time.

"I will, I swear!" Lizzy repeats to him, knowing he doesn't believe her.

"Yeah, that's exactly the problem," he jokes right back.

"Such a jerk," she responds quietly to mostly herself as she continues to watch Sammy sit there comfortably, his eyes everywhere as he looks at Bobby's kitchen.

"Hey, uh…" Dean cautiously starts as he butters a few pieces of finished toast. "I think you should head out back today."

"Why?" she questions without looking at him.

"You know why," he tells her, sure she understands him.

"Not doing that," Lizzy denies quickly as she pulls Sammy's hand out of his sleeve when he got it caught inside.

"Lizzy, you should," Dean repeats. "Cass was your dog. As much as I liked the furry dude I know you loved him. You should really deal with that, say goodbye…"

"Dean, I'm fine," Lizzy says, her voice stern. "I've had a happy week. I have my son and you've been home with me… I don't want to do that. No sadness."

He sighs, pushing the cooking eggs around the pan. "I just think you should say your peace. I know you well enough to know that you need closure. He was a good dog and he was family."

"And I'm tired of burying family." Lizzy says, her cheek propped up in her hand as she stares at Sammy. She doesn't want to deal with the fact that Cass is dead and all because of her. They never should have gotten a dog. They should have known better.

Dean just nods and lets it go for now. He'll keep trying. She does need to part with her dog in the proper way as much as it will kill her to do so. This is a heavy blow for Lizzy, he knows that, and the sooner she deals with it the sooner she can move past it instead of ignore Cass' death and how much it hurts.

With plates now done Dean walks to the table, placing one in front of Lizzy and one at the empty space across from her. "Juice?"

"Yes," she smiles at him, happy he could drop Cass' death for the time being.

When he sits down at the kitchen table facing Lizzy, a glass of juice in front of each, he smiles wide at her despite the dark circles under his eyes. They eat in relative silence and they do it quickly, knowing Sammy was going to be hungry at any given second.

When Dean scoops the last bite of egg onto his fork he glances at Sammy. "Uh-oh," he says, shoveling the mouthful in and bringing his plate swiftly to the sink. "We got nose."

Lizzy looks to Sammy and sees his nose flaring as he face starts to scrunch up.

"Damn," Lizzy comments as she reaches for the baby.

"No, no, no," Dean says to her and rushes over to the table. "Finish breakfast."

"But I'm the food machine," she rebuts as Dean beats her to the punch and picks Sammy carefully up out of his seat and pulls him into his chest, the little boy calming his fussing when he rests his head on Dean's shoulder just like every time he's picked up.

"And the food machine still has a bottle reserved in the fridge," he smirks, making his way to the refrigerator and taking out said bottle. "So dad's up. I got this."

"You sure? We could save that one for later…"

"Nah, it's fine," Dean simply says quickly, holding Sammy tight with one arm, the little baby so tiny against him, and running the bottle under the warm water from the kitchen sink to get it at room temperature. Sammy starts to move a bit, his fussiness picking up again when he remembers he's hungry. Dean starts lightly bouncing him just a bit to head him off before the big, loud crying begins. "Almost there, dude. Hang in there. Be tough."

And Lizzy says nothing, just keeps eating at a more leisurely pace now that her son's dealt with. It's nice to have a break but what's even nicer is sitting back and watching Dean right now. The man is a bigger natural than he'll ever realize, even if he's humming 'War Pigs' to his fussy son. The second Sammy was born Dean's been fully immersed into the whole dad role and everything has been easy enough for him. She's proud of him, especially with how nervous he had been about Sammy's arrival. Hell, the way he practically jumped at the chance to feed Sammy himself proves just how much he actually wanted to do it, not for Lizzy but for himself.

"Alright," Dean cheers a bit, turning off the faucet and making his way to the kitchen table again, sitting back down across from Lizzy. "Soup's on, kiddo." He settles Sammy on his back in his arm, slings a white burp cloth over his shoulder to keep it close, and picks up the bottle. Within a few minutes he has Sammy content and eating like bottle feeding is a cinch… which it certainly hadn't been at first. "That's my boy. Eating like a champ."

"He really is a mini-Dean."

"Hell yeah he is," Dean grins from ear to ear while watching him.

"How do you do that?" Lizzy has to ask.

"Do what?" He looks at her with no idea what she's talking about.

"You just made preparing a baby bottle and feeding an infant look insanely manly," she smirks at him.

"I'm a manly son of a gun, that's how," he grins right back, winking once at her before looking back down at Sammy.

"Being honest… it was kind of a turn on," she lets him know, giving him a look of impressed want.

Dean nods. "Good to know that momma gets turned on by me taking care of my son. I'll just add it to the list."

"The  _long_  list," she laughs. "And it's a shame I'm working on minimal sleep and a medical sex ban for a little while…"

"Didn't Cass take care of that?" Dean has to ask her, knowing she's been healed up quite well by angel power.

"Oh I'm golden compared to where I should be but he made it a slow progression," Lizzy tells him, having found that she's still not one-hundred percent well. "It was a less glaringly obvious miracle this time, which is good if you ask me."

"Yeah…" Dean nods, looking at her. Her body is different, there's no denying that. Her boobs are bigger, her hips a little wider, and she's still a bit heavier than she was pre-pregnancy but fuck it all if she didn't still look insanely good. "You just tell me when you're feeling good enough for some time alone with daddy. We'll ditch the third wheel for a little and have some fun."

Lizzy laughs. "Third wheel?"

"Dude, he's totally a cockblock of epic proportions," Dean tells her, looking down at Sammy eating and resting there comfortable. "You know you are, too. I can tell. You're cute, you're needy, and all you have to do is look at mom right and she's ditching me like the nerd in an eighties teen movie."

"You watch a lot of Hughes films in your day?" Lizzy eyes him jokingly.

"I liked Sixteen Candles the best," Dean jests right back.

"I'm more of a Breakfast Club kinda gal." Lizzy giggles again and falls silent for a moment, enjoying the time they're having. Things are ok. The two of them are together, in the house and safe. They take care of their son as a team and just get to live and be a family. She never thought they'd get this kind of moment but here it is…

And there it all goes as the side door slams open and a very frightened looking Bobby runs inside.

"I need your help!" Bobby says to Dean, panic in his face as he starts to run back outside to his car, assuming Dean will follow.

"What the hell….?" Dean says, face furrowed as he stands up and walks to the open doorway, Sammy still in his arm eating. When he looks outside he can see the back passenger door of Bobby's Camaro open and Sam's lifeless head resting on the seat, face slack with eyes closed. "Shit!"

Dean runs to Lizzy and starts to hand Sammy over, his movements only slowing to ensure he doesn't jostle his son too much.

"What's happening?" Lizzy asks, wide eyes on Dean as she takes the little boy.

"Don't know," Dean answers, running out the door once Sammy's securely in his mom's hold. Whatever just happened can't be good if Sam is out cold in the back of Bobby's car.

He runs out to meet Bobby who has Sam's top half out of the car already, his arms hooked under the unconscious man's arms.

"What happened to him?" Dean frantically asks, helping ease the giant man out of the car completely and lifting him up from his legs.

"Just get him into the panic room with me and we'll talk," Bobby directs, backing up towards the open side door of his house. "We need to get him safe first."

"Is something coming for him?" Dean panics a little, worried about not just a defenseless Sam but his wife and son too.

"Don't know," Bobby just answers and keeps walking.

They haul him into the kitchen and Lizzy gets her first look at Sam's condition.

"Oh God!" Lizzy panics a bit, standing up with Sammy in her hold as she couldn't sit still for this. "What the hell happened!?"

"Open the basement door," Bobby ignores her question.

"Is he alive!?" she has to ask.

"Yes, open the door!" Bobby shouts with impatience and it gets her moving.

Lizzy rushes to the door and yanks it open as they begin carrying Sam down the stairs.

"Liz, stay up here," Bobby tells her. "Lock the doors to be safe. Lay some salt. Put Sammy in the nursery for now and stay there with him."

"The nursery?" Lizzy asks with surprise, knowing what that specific room has been warded against. Nothing can get in. Demons, ghosts… not even angels. "Did Cass do this?"

"Go.  _Now_ ," Dean says, a stern face thrown her way as he asks her to just listen for now. Lizzy nods and runs off as Bobby and Dean head to the basement.

* * *

 


	10. The Balancing Act

* * *

"We found El in an alley," Bobby explains now that Sam is laid out on the bare-bones cot in the middle of the panic room floor. Lizzy is sitting in a chair by Sam's side, her hand locked in his out of sheer concern. Dean stands by closely, his eyes splitting his focus between Sammy asleep in his infant seat on the desk and Sam passed out on the barebones bed. "She'd been worked over good."

"Worked over by Crowley?" Dean asks as Bobby stands on the opposite side of Sam.

"Partially."

"Cass?" Lizzy asks, knowing she's already right.

"He got her to talk," Bobby tells them. "They know how to get into Purgatory."

"Damn it!" Dean harshes out, the disappointment huge with this.

"And that's not all Cass did," Bobby says, glancing at Sam's unconscious form.

Dean glares at Bobby. "The hell did he do to him?"

"You know what he did to Sam," Bobby knowingly says. He sighs with the weight of it.

"He broke the wall," Lizzy says with sheer devastation, her eyes never leaving Sam's face as her hand tightens on his.

"The dam inside Sam's head is gone and all hell's spillin' loose," Bobby clarifies. "We don't know what's goin' on inside."

"Shit," Lizzy whispers when he realizes what this means. They'd all been warned about what could happen if the wall ever fell. It was dyer every time, the news never bright or happy. It was always devastating. "Why? Why would Cass do this to him?"

When Lizzy looks up to him with tearful eyes Bobby's heart sinks a little lower. "He said back off. If we do then he'll put Sam back together once he's finished his insane plan."

"And if Cass doesn't survive it!?" Lizzy nearly yells out with the fear in her heart and all Bobby can do is shrug. "Oh God." She lets go and cries for good, the idea of dealing with Sam leaving them yet again just crushing for her.

"I can't just sit by and watch this happen," Dean comments with frustration.

"There's nothing you can do…" Bobby starts to say but Dean cuts him off.

"We have to do something!" Dean shouts when the panic starts to fully grip him. His brother is in his own head, possibly locked back into the Cage permanently, and he's standing there helpless.

"Right now we probably got little time until they pop Purgatory so we need to focus on one thing at a time," Bobby tells Dean, trying to get the man to focus in.

"We're a man down," Dean points out.

"Then we make up for that by working harder and fixing this right for our man down," Bobby tries to amp him up a bit. "Don't you dare let Cass win after what he just did to your brother. If you gotta work on vengeance this time then you do it. You owe Sam that much"

Dean looks down at his brother as he lies there, unmoving. He can hear the quiet sobs of fear from Lizzy as she worries about him and has to wonder how he's going to get through all this.

"This is exactly what Cass wanted, isn't it?" Lizzy says in her sad voice as she looks up at her men. "Us to fall apart?"

"Most likely," Bobby agree completely.

"Definitely," Dean darkly adds.

"Ok… then… fuck Castiel," Lizzy says with growing anger while wiping her face. "Fuck him right in his feathery ass for not listening to us or trusting us. We go after him and we stop him. That's what Sam would do."

"Find Cass," Dean says to Bobby with renewed determination. "I'm not letting that dick ruin everything we've worked for our whole lives. I'm not letting him destroy the world my son is gonna have to live in."

* * *

They got the address from Balthazar. They packed up everything they needed. They were ready to go, the eclipse just hours away… and Sam has yet to wake.

"He move around again?" Dean asks Lizzy as he joins her in the panic room.

"Nothing," she answers from her post by his side. They hoped he would have improved after that seizure or whatever it was he had hours ago but he's been motionless since. "Just been still."

When she looks up at him with such sadness it make it physically hurt to have to leave now.

"Time's up," Dean lets her know as he looks her over in the wooden chair with Sammy asleep, his head on her shoulder. "We gotta go."

"I should be coming," she tells him with sheer upset that she's been sidelined for this one.

"You know you have to be here, L."

"But if he won't listen to you… I'm the only one left that he might, just maybe give the time of day to."

"He's too far gone for that," Dean denies her thought. "None of us are gonna get through to him if he was willing to break Sam's wall like this. You know that."

"I know," she says, her eyes welling up again. She sighs hard. "I just want our Cass back."

Dean nods, completely understanding this one. He doesn't respond to that thought though. He needs to prepare for whatever he has to do to stop the angel, no matter what he might have once meant to them all.

"You watch them both, huh?" Dean says to her, his tone sad. He knows how scary the situation he's about to walk into is so he tries to keep it simple and not too heavy.

Lizzy just gives him one very sorrowful look. "I really liked this past week." She lets her tears fall as she rubs her sleeping son's back. "You were here. And Sammy was… he was happy. He was a normal little boy and Sam's wall was good…" She starts to cry full out. "Why can't it ever stay that way? Why do you have to leave? I mean, I know why…. I just…."

"I know," Dean lets her off the hook and crouches down next to her, a hand on her cheek. "And I'll be back. We'll figure it all out once we take care of everything."

She smiles at him through the sadness. "Same story, new day."

Dean leans in and kisses her good, making sure she remembers why he still has to do all these things. He does it for her, for their family.

"I love you," Dean reminds her. "And I'll see you tomorrow when this is all over."

She just nods and takes his word for it, as much as she isn't sure she can.

Dean kisses her forehead before focusing in on Sammy. Placing his hand very lightly on the sleeping baby's head, he smiles a bit. He knows he'll come back this time. He's just met his son. There's no way he's going down this soon after he's been born.

A very uncharacteristic kiss to the top of Sammy's head and Dean stands up. He walks around the cot and peers at Sam real quick.

"You feel like getting your lazy ass up to help… feel free," he says to his brother, patting his hand a couple times before he glances at Lizzy one last time and leaves the panic room, ready to stop the cracking of Purgatory.

* * *

Sitting for four hours straight in the panic room, watching over Sam closely with nothing but silent fear surrounding her in the quiet house, she sees Sammy drifting off for the second time as he rests his head on her shoulder, his face towards her. She's fed him twice since she got down there and did it without moving from that same wooden chair next to Sam's cot. She wasn't willing to walk away from the man she cares so much about, not when he needed someone to have his back.

But when Sammy's eyes close Lizzy has an internal struggle. Does she bring Sammy to his crib? Is it safe to leave Sam alone down here with all he's going through right now? It's just a few flights of stairs away and Sam hasn't moved in hours.

"Alright, sweetie," Lizzy decides finally as she stands up from her chair, stretching her limbs for a bit as she holds her son. "Getting you to your real bed this time."

She then looks over at Sam with worry but leaves anyways, moving a little faster than normal in order to get back sooner.

The moment she's up the basement staircase is when Sam starts to seize again. His limbs flail and his body twists with distress. It doesn't last long, a minute at most, and as the final piece of the Sam puzzle is put back together within his mind he finally quiets, lying still as he eyes flutter open.

With serious confusion, Sam looks around himself without getting up. Iron walls, the damp air, the big fan above him slowly turning… he's in the panic room. How the fuck did he end up in the panic room?

And then it all truly starts to come together. Flashes of the Cage start to attack his mind right away.

Pain. Blood. Horror. Severe anguish. Burning. Flames. Utter fear.

He holds his head for a second as it comes at him harshly. And then it stops as soon as it starts.

Completely caught off guard, Sam lies there. His head just assaulted him with everything he's had hidden behind the wall since he's been back on Earth. How he survived the things he now re-encounters he'll never quite understand. This should have ruined even the strongest willed of men.

Sitting up slowly once composed as much as he can he looks at the piece of paper in his hand. The small, folded yellow square was clearly torn from a larger sheet and he unfolds it. Immediately he knows Dean left this for him. He knows the handwriting.

It's an address.

And it all comes together when he can hear Lizzy talking.

_There you go. All comfy… and out cold already. You pass out as quickly as your dad._

He's picking up her voice through the baby monitor on the desk. The empty chair next to him makes him realize she's probably been keeping a close eye on him. It feels like he's been out of it for a while.

_He'll come back. Don't you worry about that dad of yours. He won't let us down._

Dean left. He went to go stop Castiel. He must be at the address in his hand.

_Hell, he's not allowed to let us down. He has to come back. Uh. What a fucking world you've been dropped into, kiddo. I know I say it a lot but I'm sorry. You deserve better than this…_

As she speaks to the baby Sam bolts up out of the cot. Dean needs him. He needs backup.

The sound of Lucifer's laughing echoes off in the distance, making his skin crawl with hatred. He's a mess, cracked right in half, but he needs to help. He has to stop Cass and help his brother.

Digging into a duffel by the desk Sam grabs the angel blade they had stashed in it and heads out of the house, only pausing with fear when scenes of his own skin being stripped off crash into his mind. As quickly as he can he shoves that thought away, huffing with the strength it takes to keep it together.

He can't tell Lizzy he's leaving because she'd absolutely try to stop him. He can't have that. He just has to get to Dean and help him stop it all.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"So if you feel like waking up in the near future I have left over beef stew," Lizzy says lightly as she walks into the panic room, bowl for herself in hand. It's been a long day and even if she's not exactly hungry she does need to eat. "Better get down on it before Dean…"

She stops short when she sees the empty cot.

"Sam?" she asks, looking around the room, it being empty. "Sam!?"

No response until she hears an old junker start up outside the house.

"Shit! SAM!" she yells out as she drops the bowl on the concrete floor and bolts it up the stairs. She yanks open the side door and steps outside just in time to catch the crappy Oldsmobile peel its way out of the driveway of Singer Salvage Yard with the driver's shadow barely visible. All she needed to see was how close that person's head is to the roof to know what happened.

"Sam! Don't!" she yells after him, the car swerving as she runs to catch it foolishly.

The car disappears onto the road and she's left alone out in the gravel driveway, Sam long gone. He was her one duty right now, the one she really couldn't fail and she could handle doing while caring for her newborn son… and she failed.

"Fuck…" she complains and pulls her cell phone out of her jeans pocket. "Fuck. Sam… why did you have to do this shit to me right now…"

She dials up Dean and immediately gets his voicemail. It's just about show time. He's not looking at his phone.

She buries her face in her hands as she worries horribly. Everyone is gone. She's alone to wait this one out in unknowing solitude.

Shaky steps leading the way, Lizzy heads back for the house. Her son is still in there and he's tucked away in his room. She might have let Sam down but she'll be damned if she lets Sammy down.

One step into making her way up the few brick steps leading up to the door and she's knocked over with an unseen force that she couldn't have seen coming. Lizzy's shoved back a good five feet before being driven to the frozen February ground, her back hitting the earth with such force that the wind is completely knocked out of her. She's stuck there as she can feel the invisible attack continue, an unseen power pressing into her chest and pinning her down completely. It lasts what feels like forever, the constant pressure on her ribs as the force drives into her.

She yells out with the sheer strength of the assault, the feeling nothing like anything she's experienced before.

And then it stops. It all stops and she's left trying to catch her breath while lying on the ground.

"No," Lizzy sighs with complete, all-consuming terror. "Cass. Oh no…"

The pain lingers in her chest. A pressure sits there, heavy and burdensome, and she knows what this means.

Dean didn't get through to him in time.

Purgatory is open and Castiel is containing all of its inhabitants.

The stupid fucking angel did it.

And they're screwed.

* * *

***The Next Day***

"Come on!" Dean grunts out with sheer frustration, using all the strength he has in his legs to push the hood of his severely damaged Impala back up while lying across the front bench seat. The metal groans with the slight movement it makes but it's not nearly enough. The hood is still caved in after having been flipped over. "Come on, Baby!"

"Are you trying to fix her or just caveman-styled scream at her?"

When Dean looks out of the doorless opening he can see Lizzy standing there, Sammy in his carrier seat with his eyes wide open and looking around in the bright, sunlit day.

"Apparently I'm just caveman screaming," Dean tells her as he gets out of the car, sweat and grease on his exposed forearms and face. His girl isn't exactly cooperating with him.

"And ruining a perfectly good blue shirt while you're at it," she says, putting the baby carrier down on the hood of the nearest junker before reaching out to him. She wiggles her index finger through the hole he made just above the breast pocket and she eyes the black smudges all over the blue fabric.

Dean just shrugs it away. He loses clothes all the time to the life so what's one more, right?

With a lifted eyebrow Lizzy hands over a cold beer.

"Ah, thanks," he says with a small yet grateful smile as he quickly pops it open and takes a sip. "How's Sam?"

"He's still sleeping. But he's alive." Lizzy looks up at him as her hands land on his hips.

"Yeah?" Dean checks, her free hand coming to her cheek.

"Shockingly," she responds, pressing up on her tip toes. Dean leans down the extra space and kisses her once.

"And what's the news about God part deux?"

"You mean Cass or Sammy?"

His face drops.

"Too soon?" Lizzy asks, challenging him to just lighten up this once. Their lives are so twisted that she thought the joke was off-color but pretty damn funny. Not so much if one were to ask Dean. Lizzy sighs. "Bobby has all kinds of feelers out. So far… jack with a big side of squat on Cass."

"And what exactly is he looking for?"

"Exactly the problem. What? I mean… miracles? Mass visions? Trench coat on a tortilla? We don't know what we're lookin' for."

"Yeah, well," Dean looks over to his son sitting calmly and contently in his infant seat. "He'll surface."

"Ok…" Lizzy trails off as Dean walks over to Sammy, putting his beer down next to the baby carrier he's in and reaching for him. "So say we do find him, flush him out..."

"Yeah?" Dean asks with a wide smile aimed at Sammy, something goofy in his expression as he lifts the small boy and pulls him into himself. "Hey, dude." He's still listening to Lizzy but he splits his attention, letting Sammy grab onto his index finger once he's comfortably tucked into him.

"The hell can we even do about it?" She watches him closely, Dean one second yelling and swearing at his demolished car and the next being so sweet as he holds their son, his attitude completely different. She knew this child would be good for him.

"I don't know, L," Dean says, locking eyes with Sammy as his small head rests on his much bigger shoulder. "I got no more of a clue than you do. This ain't in a book and if you stick your neck out Cass steps on it. So… you know what I'm gonna do?"

"What are you gonna do?" Lizzy asks lightly right back in the hopes of lessening the severity of his life.

"I'm gonna fix this car," he says, nodding at the pile of metal that has become his Baby. "And I'm gonna raise my son with my wife. Because that's what I can do. I can work on Baby 'til she's mint and I can make sure Sammy has his family. And when Sam wakes up, no matter what shape he's in, we'll glue him back together too. We owe him that."

Lizzy smiles slightly, walking closer to her husband. "I'm with you," she tells him, rubbing Sammy's back and looking at him at the same time as Dean. "But I think you knew that."

Dean looks at her, her face turned upwards and smiling at him in the sun. Her bright brown eyes light up and he ducks down to kiss her again. Thankfully he still has his Lizzy.

"We'll get through it," Lizzy reminds him, speaking mostly of Sam at this point. "We always do. And Sam has always found a way to surprise us even through the worst of the worst."

"That's true," Dean nods but he's still not quite ready to accept that everything is going to look good with Sam. This is a huge one.

"Hey, we named our little man after him for a reason," she keeps trying, hearing the uncertainty within him. "Why would I name our badass after someone not bad ass?"

"Solid point," Dean smiles just a little.

Lizzy watches on a little more as Dean holds Sammy, the love in his eyes brighter than it's ever been. It's been quite amazing watching the two of them over the course of the over a week at home. There's a bond there instantly which is odd for an infant and father so early on. Women get the more involved role usually but there's something there, something strong and tight as can be. Sammy's calmer in Dean's arms than anyone else's, even hers sometimes, and she feels nothing but giddy happiness over that. It's beautiful.

"So, um… I didn't just come out here to bring you a beer and a baby," Lizzy tells him finally, playing with the winter suit she put Sammy in for the quick trek outside into the cold winter air to make sure it covers him completely. It's freezing in the Dakotas in February.

"Oh no?" Dean asks, pulling the hood of Sammy's snow suit over his head for the added warmth.

"No. I, uh… I think you were right."

"About?"

"Saying goodbye. To our furry Cass," she tells him. "I haven't been able to before but I know I have to. He was a really good dog. I loved him and if I'm being honest… he's the reason we got through a good amount of… everything, after Sam's swan dive."

Dean just nods as he looks her over, her body language screaming of how uncomfortable she is with her arms crossed and feet shifting. "You want me to come with you?"

"Kinda," Lizzy says with embarrassment. Usually she's just so damn independent that she never asks for support even when she knows she could use it. But then her son was born and a lot of things changed in her outlook. Things like too much pride or looking weak in front of her husband didn't seem so important anymore. She's getting past it.

The way she looks up at him after asking for his help he knows he's never seen this version of Lizzy before. No way.

"Ok, I can leave this for a bit," Dean nods and hooks Sammy's baby carrier in his arm, not pulling the child back in it as he wants to hold him. He's been outside for hours and needed his Sammy fix anyways. "Let's go."

Lizzy nods and takes a deep breath before walking, Dean right by her side.

When they make it to the clearing out back, the one with the rusted out pickup and the wide open grassy area, Lizzy gets nervous. She knew she had to do this but she just didn't want to. Her default is avoidance when something so terrible happens. It's easier to ignore the issue than to plow right through it emotionally.

Spotting the makeshift wooden cross Sam made for Cass when he buried the dog out in his favorite part of the salvage yard, Lizzy pauses and looks up at Dean. Her expression is already devastated.

"You can do this," Dean says to her with the confidence that she doesn't have.

"I'm… I'm so tired," Lizzy says, her eyes already watering over. Sure, she's up all hours of the night for over a week straight with Sammy but Dean knows that isn't what she's talking about. After all she's been through these past two weeks she just doesn't have anything left. She's never been this broken down before. Right now she has no strength left to deal with yet another tragedy.

"I know you are," Dean says, putting the baby seat onto the truck bed and turning to her. He pulls her in with his one free arm and she hugs him hard. "But I'm right here. So is Sammy. We got your back."

She smiles sadly at him and looks at her little boy that will never meet the dog that already loved him before he was even born.

Lizzy pulls away from Dean and takes a deep, steadying breath. She then walks towards Cass' grave. When she reaches it she stands over it silently, just looking at the old two-by-fours nailed together that mark his final resting place.

She can't help but think that when she married Dean she might have taken on the Winchester family curse. For all intents and purposes Cass was her dog. And she got him killed. That sweet, loving animal just wanted to love her and be her friend. He protected her when something came after her and this is what he got in return for that loyalty.

Tears rolling slowly down her face Lizzy sits down onto the ground, crossing her legs Indian-style as she wipes her eyes. "I should have never taken you home."

It was selfish. Even back then when she assumed she'd be out of hunting for good she knew deep down at any point something could show up at her front door. She never thought it'd be Sam but still, the life came back for her. She should have known better.

Pulling the handheld garden shovel out of her back jeans pocket, she starts digging a small hole.

Dean, confused by this, keeps quiet as he watches her. Sammy squirms in his arm and he holds onto one of his tiny hands as he bounces him, looking to hold off any fussing he might be ready to do. Now's not the time.

Once she has the small hole dug she pulls out a ratty, dirt-stained tennis ball from her coat pocket. It's the same one they've been playing with together from the day she picked Cass up from the shelter. It was his favorite. It didn't matter what she bought him; rawhide chews, bones, squeaky rubber toys, stuffed animals… Cass always wanted that simple, easy tennis ball over them all. It was the item that bonded her to him.

"I love you, puppy," Lizzy tells him as she drops it in and starts to cover it back over. "You were such a good dog. You helped us more than you could ever understand." She sighs and her eyes water over. "You saved us."

When she's done she stands back up and turns to Dean. She walks right up to him and hugs him tight around his middle as she cries, letting it all go once and for all.

"I wanted him to be around for Sammy," she sobs into his dirty shirt, it hurting to think the two will never be the best friends she knows they would have been.

"He would've been good for him," Dean nods, rubbing her back as she cries. "They would've loved each other."

Lizzy just nods and lets herself finally feel the loss.

"We're never getting it back," Lizzy says to him, her cheek to his shirt as she looks at her son and recognizes what this all really means. Cass was the last remaining piece of their normal lives. Sammy may never know what that feels like. "You were right. There's always something. We're gonna live like this until we die."

"Now's not the time to start thinking like that," Dean says with a head shake, backing away enough for him to look at her. "Not now."

"Why not?" Lizzy has to ask.

"I'll give you one good reason," Dean says, shifting Sammy in his arms before holding him out for her to take.

With her hormones still readjusting, just the sight of Dean handing their son to her in such a way makes her cry harder. She takes him and pulls him close before hugging him gently and kissing his tiny face.

"I don't want this for him," Lizzy says with a hand to the back of Sammy's head, tears making her cheeks shine in the sun. "He can't live like this. He's just so little and helpless…"

"We'll get out," Dean gives her false hope without thinking. He's been wavering the same as her, sometimes thinking that they won't get their son out of this, but he can't have her think that way. Lizzy can't think like that. She's the optimistic one and without hope Lizzy can't survive. She looks up at him with a yeah-right expression and he tries harder. "You gonna tell me that now that he's here, now that you've had days with him and have become completely obsessive over him… that now you wouldn't do anything to get us out of this mess and give Sammy the world he should live in more than ever?"

"I'd do absolutely anything for him," she says, looking at Sammy with adoration through her tears.

"Then we'll be ok," Dean tells her, kissing her cheek. "You forget how strong you are, momma. No one can do this better than you."

"I'm glad at least you think so," she says with a sigh, kissing his lips once.

"I know so, and I know you," Dean assures her.

"But what if Cass comes?" Lizzy airs her serious concern for the immediate threat on them. "He's so pissed at you for trying to stop him. What if he feels the need to get vengeful?"

"I don't know who that guy is right now…"

"He's God," Lizzy spits right out with fear, holding her son a little tighter.

"But he still loves  _you_ ," Dean assures her. "If he comes for me then I'll deal with him. But if he comes for you it won't be to hurt you or Sammy. You didn't stab him in the back… literally."

"But I was behind the decision to do it," Lizzy says, her tears calming as she looks at Sammy, his nose flaring a bit.

"Cass doesn't know that," Dean rebuts. "Like I said, he shows up then he isn't here to do anything bad to you or our boy. Not at all. You're safe." He shares a small smile with her. "Shit, I bet if you were the one there, stabbing him in the back, he'd still not be mad at you."

"Why do you think that?"

"If Sammy tried to kill you could you turn around and hurt him?"

"God no," Lizzy assures immediately, no thought needed.

"Then you're safe," Dean makes his point clear.

"But Sammy would never do anything bad like that," Lizzy tells her husband as she kisses Sammy's cheek while he scrunches his face up, getting fussy. "He'll never do anything bad ever."

"Oh yeah,  _never_ ," Dean says with sheer sarcasm. "Sammy's  _our_  kid, remember? He's gonna get himself into enough trouble with just that fact alone. He's gonna be a handful."

"No," Lizzy denies, knowing she's just being a new mother. "He's a saint. He'll always be sweet and adorable and he'll never do anything wrong."

"Setting yourself up for some disappointment, L," Dean laughs as Sammy starts to make some noise, his body twisting in her hold. "Lunch time?"

"Yeah… and diaper time," she tells him. "I'm gonna take him in."

"I'll come with," Dean says, grabbing the baby seat and walking with her into Bobby's house.

"What about the car?" Lizzy questions, surprised he'd abandon such an important project right now.

"I'll come back out later." He looks over at Sammy in his mom's arms and knows he wants to go in with them. Baby needs to share her time with him these days, even if she's a damn mess.

"Does that mean you wanna change a dirty diaper?" Lizzy looks up at him with hope as they make their way, Dean's arm coming around her.

"Whatever you want, dear," he jokes and presses a kiss to the side of her head.

She laughs a little at the joking. "Thanks for trying to make this all as normal as possible. I know that's what you're doing."

"Am I that obvious?" he asks with a grin, knowing he's been doing just as she says. He's been working hard to make her life what it would be without hunting. He stays close, helps her out with Sammy as much as he can, and keeps as happy a tone as he can manage at Bobby's place, even despite his own brother's cracking. Sam would never want him to slow down or focus too hard on him right now. Sammy needs a life that doesn't suck and they all understand that quite clearly.

"So obvious," Lizzy smiles and enjoys the quiet, normal moment.

* * *

Fresh diaper on and now Sammy's camped out under a blanket as he gets his second lunch of the day while Lizzy sits with him at the kitchen table.

"He's getting better at this whole eating thing," Lizzy tells her husband as he reaches into the refrigerator for another beer.

"Like he was ever gonna have a long-term problem with that…" Dean comments as he cracks open the bottle and looks at her with a smirk.

"Good point," Lizzy agrees, both of them quite the eaters.

"You want anything?"

"Water would be good," Lizzy answers.

"H2O it is," Dean smiles right back and opens the refrigerator again. "You gonna be back to drinking anytime soon?"

"Not while breastfeeding," Lizzy reminds him. "But I could probably swing a night out at some point… or just a night off while staying in. But then again, who's gonna watch Sammy if we both get fucked up?"

Dean immediately opens his mouth to answer that Sam will but with his cracked wall he knows he can't ask his brother to do that. He can't trust that he won't lose it midway through babysitting. He doesn't even know when Sam will wake up again at this point.

"Bobby," Dean finally answers.

"You think he'd be up for that?"

"Why not?"

"He's older than us," Lizzy laughs. "I think, to be fair, we need to get Sammy to sleep more through the night before we ask people to watch him for us."

"Uh, that'll be forever…"

"Hey, guys."

Lizzy and Dean snap their focus to the doorway between the kitchen and study to find Sam standing there looking rested and well.

"You're walking and talking," Dean states, his voice showing his surprise.

"Yeah," Sam's arms fly out from his sides a little, also surprised. "I, uh, put on my own socks, the whole nine." He smiles slightly, walking into the room a few steps as he knows he's being scrutinized at the moment.

"Wow," Lizzy says, looking up at him with disbelief. "That's not what we expected."

"Me neither," Sam huffs an awkward laugh as he sits across from her, seeing the blanket she has slung over her shoulder. Sammy's eating.

"Sam-I-Am, are you sure you're okay?"

Sam wants to smile with her concern. "Yeah, I'm ok, Lizzy. My head hurts a little, but... basically…"

"Seriously?" Dean asks with his bullshit meter setting off hard.

"Look, I'm as surprised as you both are but, yeah, I swear," Sam tells the truth. Since waking up from his quite long night of sleep he's been clear minded and Cage-free. Not a single memory of his time down under has come to attack him.

"Good!" Dean cheers with sheer happiness. "No reason putting a gift horse under a microscope, right?"

"Yeah," Sam says, willing to go with it if Dean is. "So what happened with Cass?"

"Why don't you come help me with the car," Dean suggests, still looking to get as much done as he can before nightfall. "She's a wreck and then some. I'll fill you in."

"Ok," Sam agrees and heads to grab his coat by the door while Dean looks at Lizzy.

"You got him?" he nods to the hidden Sammy.

"I'll do what I can to keep him from running away," she jokes. "He's so easy. I'm good. Go put your girlfriend on the side back together."

Dean smiles at her and leaves the room.

As Sam puts his arms through his heavy jacket he pauses when he hears the faint sound of chains clinking in the distance. He nervously looks around with that far too familiar sound, one he'd heard constantly for nearly two-hundred years.

"Sam?" Lizzy calls out to him, making Sam jerk towards her with slight concern in his face. "What's going on?"

Sam shakes his head as if he has no idea what she's talking about.

"Don't lie," Lizzy says to him as warmly as she can. She's not willing to just assume all is well like Dean is. They don't get that lucky ever. "If there's anything wrong you know you just need to tell us…"

"Lizzy," Sam says with a smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry so much."

Before she can respond he's out the door.

Now, living with the Winchesters has not been all be fun and games. They're angry, short fused, emotionally stunted, and, worst of all, they tend to be stubborn liars. They used to be good at lying right to her but that was far before she figured out the poker faces.

Sam is completely lying.

* * *

In the middle of the night, somewhere around three in the morning, Lizzy shuffles her tired feet down the stairs. She just pumped an extra bottle during this last meal time so the next time Sammy wakes up in a few hours she can make Dean do it while she sleeps. It's absolutely his turn.

Making her way into the kitchen, fresh bottle in hand, she catches the sight of a large man hunched over a book at the kitchen table. She eyes Sam over while walking to the refrigerator, thinking he looks so young while asleep. He's so peaceful and relaxed, a lot like that five year old she met when he was attacked and made young again by a spell. He was so full of life back then. She still kind of misses that little guy sometimes.

With her back turned to him while she leans forward to place the bottle into the refrigerator Lizzy hears Sam's voice. With worry, she looks back at him once the door is closed to see his body twitch in his sleep before his voice starts coming out choked.

"What the fuck…?" Lizzy asks to no one as she walks over to him, his movements getting sharper and bigger….

The chain suddenly around his neck yanks him up to the ceiling in Bobby's kitchen. He chokes out and tries to yell for help, or even just breathe, but he can't. His feet kicking in the air he struggles to get free but the chain won't budge.

"Sam!"

He inhales hard once and looks around ready to attack if need be.

"Hey, whoa!" Lizzy calmly says to him with her hands reaching out to him but Sam's fight response keeps him going.

He takes a swing without thinking, feeling the panic still running through him, and Lizzy just barely ducks out of the way.

"Sam! Stop!" Lizzy yells at him and grabs his face, forcing him to look at her. "Look at me!"

Sam fights against her hold for a second more before realizing Lizzy is the one grabbing him.

"Yeah, it's me, jackass," Lizzy says with anger. "You with me?"

Eyes darting all over Sam realizes he's in Bobby's kitchen. He looks up to the ceiling and doesn't see a chain there. He's safe.

"Yeah… yeah, uh," Sam starts to say, catching his breath. "Shit."

And then she punches him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"You almost decked me!" Lizzy says angrily. "I haven't been in a fight in almost a damn year! You're lucky or else I might have dropped you!"

"I'm sorry," Sam says, the hurt on his face when he sees what he did.

"Ok," Lizzy nods, backing away from him a step. "Now, you wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?"

"Just, ah… a bad dream," Sam tells her. Technically he isn't lying. It was a bad dream.

"Hell of a dream," Lizzy comments, sitting across from him at the table. "Is it possible that it might have been more than a dream?"

Sam just looks at her with a guilty face.

Lizzy just smile once. "I knew it. You've been lying."

"I haven't be  _lying_ …"

"Really?" she questions, her voice challenging him. "You're still going to deny it? Don't you think I know you well enough after all this time to know for sure when you're bluffing?" She stares at him with a smug smile and a cocked eyebrow.

Sam sighs and nods sadly. "I've been… experiencing things."

"What kind of things?" Lizzy asks of him.

"Cage things," Sam admits and honestly it feels good to let someone know. "I know Dean and Bobby have enough on their plates, you do too… I didn't want to add yet another thing."

"Sam, you're mental wellness is not just another thing. It's  _the_  thing," Lizzy assures him. "We all want to help you but we can't do that if you hide stuff from us."

"There's nothing you can do to cure me, Lizzy," Sam points out. "You can't just… put up some drywall for me. It's gone and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to fix."

"I never said fix. I said help," Lizzy clarifies. "I'm not gonna bullshit you. This is  _not_  good. You've got Hell literally breaking loose in your skull. I can't heal that and I know it. But I can help."

"How?" he challenges, not seeing any way this can be helped.

"What happens when Hell comes at you?"

"I… I see it. Or hear it," Sam explains. "Feel it."

"What happened just now?"

"I was strung up on the ceiling," he says without looking at her.

" _This_  ceiling!?" Lizzy keeps prying.

"Yeah. A chain locked around my neck and yanked me up there."

"Jesus…" She wrinkles her face with the horrid nature of it all.

"Lizzy… that was nothing," Sam says with sadness and fear. "What I went through down there… I'm just scared to think about what could be coming next time it shows up."

She stays quiet when she realizes how horrible this all was for him. She always knew Hell was an unfathomable ordeal for those that haven't experienced it themselves but the fear in Sam's eyes right now lets her know all she needs to. It takes everything to get Sam to be this scared.

"And sometimes… it's hard to tell."

"Tell what?" Lizzy pries with confusion.

"Where I am."

"What does that mean?"

"If I'm here or down there… it's not always clear," it pains him to explain. When he sees the horror in Lizzy's eyes he knows he might have just said too much.

"Shit, Sam-I-Am. No matter how bad it gets, it isn't real," Lizzy reminds him. "You gotta remember that. It can't actually hurt you anymore, Sam. You're out."

"Yeah, I know that."

"Are you sure about that?" Lizzy question. "You know that you're here? You're back for good?"

"I think so…"

"You need to  _know_  so," she drives home. "Sam, you're here. You're home."

"Actually, being around you guys… it's the only thing keeping me from cracking down the middle right now." It's a big confession but it's true.

"Good. Don't you dare forget that," Lizzy says with a smile, reaching across the table to drop her hand on top of his. "Because you're not allowed to crack, Sam. No fucking way. I need you around too much."

Sam holds eye contact with her for a few seconds, absorbing the love she gives him without question.

"You just need babysitting services," Sam says with levity as he grins lopsided at her.

"When did I get that transparent?" Lizzy jokes right back.

"You're like a window," Sam says as he pulls his hand back and rubs at his eyes. "I gotta keep reading."

"And I gotta catch about two hours of sleep before Sammy's up and ready to chow again," Lizzy says to him and stands up.

"Um, could… could you maybe not tell Dean about this yet?" Sam requests of her. "I need to… sort this out a little more before I do. And I need to get ready for the overbearing bullshit he's gonna put on me the second he knows."

"Sam, you know I can't keep things like this from him," Lizzy wrinkles her brow. "He's my husband… and you're brother."

"I know, and I will tell him. I just need time. Just a couple days."

Lizzy sighs, knowing already that she's going to let him have his way even if she disagrees. "A couple days and that's it. You tell him. And if you don't I will."

"Thank you." He sighs with relief.

"You owe me one now, you know that?" Lizzy smiles slightly.

"Good night," Sam says to her, head already back into his book to cut her blackmailing off.

As Lizzy starts to walk past him towards the stairs she stops. As Sam reads on he can feel her lips land on his cheek quickly before she parts with him for the night.

"Keep it together, Uncle Sam."

> He huffs a laugh as she leaves the room. Uncle Sam. His new title. He loves that name, as corny as it is, and he loves that nephew of his. For that reason alone he's trying his hardest not to slip into the insanity in his brain as hard as it has been already.
> 
> * * *

 


	11. Welcome to the World, Old Friend

* * *

"I'm tired of this," Lizzy says, her voice angry at this point as Dean prepares to once more leave the house on a suicide run to save the world with a plan that once more involves summoning Death and possibly pissing him off to murderous proportions. As the only thing that can kill God, Death is their last hope.

"You're telling me," Dean says, shoving an angel blade into a duffle with ire at Bobby's kitchen table.

"Every time I think it's over and we're free… this fucking shit just finds us again," she grumbles, pushing him away from his task at hand and taking over. "Let me pack," Lizzy offers, slamming items into the bag unceremoniously. "Go spend some time with your son before you go off the chit chat with Death again."

It clicks with him suddenly. She's not mad at Cass or the shitty world.

"You're mad at  _me_ ," he states simply enough and when she doesn't answer him he knows it's true. "You know I have to go…"

" _Do you_?" she challenges, looking at him with razor sharp eyes.

"Yes."

"Well, the way I see it, you don't," Lizzy tells him, dropping the shotgun in her hands to look at him. "You have a choice. You could stay home. You could let someone else handle this fucking giant turd of a world for once."

"Who!?" Dean asks, his voice elevating towards her. "Who the fuck do you think I can call right now to go bind Death and kill God!? Huh? You think I  _want_  this!?"

Lizzy doesn't say a word. She knows he's doesn't want this and she knows he'd rather not go.

"Sam is a fucking mess, you said it yourself," Dean reminds her. "I can't send an old man and a half broken hunter out on this run. I have to be there."

"I can't do this," Lizzy whispers in a panic and covers her face with her hands, her resolve completely breaking.

Dean pauses with her sudden crumble, not sure what to say or do.

"I don't know how this is gonna work," she cries through her hands. "I thought it would be ok, that I could do this…"

"L? What are you talking about?" Dean asks, stepping closer to her.

"This!" Lizzy shouts with fright as she looks up at him with teary eyes. "You leaving, doing these insane trips where you cheat death every time… until you don't." She has such fear in her tone that it hurts Dean to his core. "I was used to it before. I knew you might not come back… and I could block that thought out. I used to pretend that it could never happen and convinced myself it was all fine so I could live day to day. But Sammy's here now. He's here and he's your son. Every time you leave I can't convince myself that you'll be right back. All I do is run through what could happen and what that would mean for Sammy. He can't grow up without you. He needs you around."

Dean doesn't know what to say at first. He wasn't ready for this.

"L, I…" he starts but realizes he has no idea what he was about to say to her.

"You'll be back… yeah," Lizzy dismissively answers for him as she assumes that's what he was about to say, her tone cold and pissed off as she wipes her eyes. "No one else could ever handle this. Other hunters can't take your place. Whatever. Just, please, go see Sammy before you leave." Lizzy refuses to look at him and starts packing for him once me. "You might regret it if you don't come back."

"I'm doing this for him," Dean reminds her and she doesn't look at him. "I'm doing this for  _us_ , so we can live a better life."

She continues to ignore him completely, her anger taking the wheel.

Dean nods and lets it go, walking away as he knows nothing else he could say. He heads for the nursery as his own frustrations elevate a few more notches. How the hell could she put all that on him before leaving? He's just trying to clean up the mess this world is in so that his own family can live safely. How can she not see that?

Walking into the room with the taste of vinegar in his mouth after that conversation, he finds Sammy in his crib, lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. He kicks his legs like always and when Dean's head peeks over the railing the little boy looks right up at him.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean says quietly with a grin, his fire extinguished immediately when he looks at the child. There's just something about that little boy that can take away everything else in a second. He reaches down and picks him up, pulling him against his chest. "How you doing, buddy?"

Obviously the baby doesn't respond but it doesn't matter. Dean didn't come here looking for two-way conversation. He just wanted to see his little man.

"Well, I got a surprise for you. You're mom's pissed at me," Dean tells him, sitting down in the rocking chair as he speaks. He turns his head and looks at Sammy's face, his features growing sharper by the day. He really does look just like his dad. "But that's no real surprise. She's a little on the emotional side if you haven't figured it out by now. Let's just say that when you start drinking as a teenager you better not let her find out. You won't wanna drink again out of fear even after you turn twenty-one after she's done with you."

Dean sighs and rubs Sammy's back, the boy more than comfortable in his arms at this point.

"So I gotta head out for a bit," Dean starts to explain. "I have some pretty heavy stuff to deal with but I want you to know…" He stops himself in order to convince his own brain that he will indeed return from this trip. "I'm gonna be back. I will. I don't care what it takes. You are all that matters to me now, you and your mom. I wouldn't be going at all if I thought that wasn't true."

Sammy just stays there, listening to Dean's voice as he calmly stays cuddled into his arm. To Dean it has always seemed that, despite the fact that the first few months of a kid's life their main connection is with mom, Sammy always seemed more than relaxed and contented in his hold. The boy will squirm and move like crazy but when Dean has him and talks to him his boy will relax and be happy just being. His pride in that is so huge it kills him.

"Sammy, I've never done anything in my life half as important you. I just want you to have a fair shot. Me and your uncle… we've had a pretty crappy life and I want none of that for you. You're never gonna fire a shotgun and you're never gonna keep a switchblade in your boot. You're gonna play sports and hang out with friends and go to the freakin' prom with the hottest chick in school. You're gonna do all the stuff Sam and I never did and in order for that to happen I gotta go for a little while.

"I'm gonna do some pretty dumb stuff," he keeps talking, shifting Sammy to lay on his back across his forearm, his head resting on the crook of his elbow. "But hey, as you grow up you'll see that I am a wealth of doing dumb stuff… another reason why your mom's always pissed at me." Dean runs his fingertips through Sammy's dark hair that's already thinning out just as the nurses told him it would. Soon he'll be bald as a cue ball. "I got a feeling we're gonna tick her off together a lot when you're old enough. If you're anything like me growing up it'll be all the time."

It's hard to imagine the sweet little boy in his arms being anything like he was but he knows there's a good chance of it. He'll go completely gray and wrinkly by forty-five if Sammy's like he was as a kid and teenager but maybe that's the point. It's karma.

Sammy yawns wide and looks ready to fall asleep, his lids lowering and focus drifting off of him as he talks.

"Well, whether you're a hellion or a saint I'll be there with you," Dean says while standing up and heading for the crib. "I'm not bowing out yet, even if mom's a little worried about that."

Laying Sammy back down in his crib, the baby asleep right as his body hits the mattress, Dean leans on the railing and watches on, knowing time is ticking away. He has to go but leaving their home base has never been tougher to do than it is right this moment. He's never wanted to stay with his family more than right now.

"Be good," Dean says, his index finger running up and down Sammy's cheek a couple times. "And don't cry for another hour. Give your mom time to cool off and you'll be fine."

He then very painfully exits the room, ready to go bind Death and make one of the two most powerful beings on the planet kill the other. No problem.

* * *

It's been quiet for too long.

Lizzy may have only known her son for just short of two weeks now but when nearly three hours have gone by without a single peep when it's just the two of them in the house she knows something's up.

Abandoning her research, choosing to go with Sammy's destiny as the topic since if the guys fail there's no stopping Castiel anyways, she heads for the nursery. Rounding the corner into Sammy's room Lizzy stops dead in her tracks when she sees something she would never have expected to find.

"Cass!?" Lizzy calls to the being standing in the middle of the nursery with Sammy tucked into his arms, bouncing him just slightly as she watches him. "What the hell!?"

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Castiel starts to say, watching closely as Sammy looks around the room while he holds him. "That such an important human with such a massive destiny could be so fragile and small."

"Cass, put my son down," Lizzy says with stern caution.

"He would not exist if it were not for my doing," Castiel says with arrogance, continuing to look over the small child with something akin to egotistical pride. "I feel I have every right to hold him."

"You don't."

When Castiel finally looks over to her as she stands in the doorway, her face filled with fright and worry, he doesn't understand.

"You fear me." He wasn't ready to see that from her.

"Can you blame me?" Lizzy questions right away, not seeing how he could expect her not to be afraid.

"I can see how my actions as of late have been… frightening to some. But  _you_  have nothing to fear," Castiel tries to assure her.

"Oh, well… nothing unnerving about that," she sarcastically bites, still fearing him completely while taking a few cautious steps forward. Lizzy finally can see the deterioration of Castiel's body as he faces her. The redness of his skin, the boils, and the overall destroyed condition he's in shocks her. "Cass, are you ok?"

"No," he responds, Sammy asleep in his arms. "Your beloved husband just tried to get Death to kill me. I am not ok."

Closing her eyes with the news that her family failed, her heart drops to her feet. He's here to kill her. He has to be. Vengeful seems to be Castiel's new default and an attempt on his life will most certainly set him off.

" _Stop_  being so afraid," Castiel once more tells her, annoyed at her fear. "I'm not here to kill you. I am a righteous God, one that knows who deserves sparing. Elizabeth, you never have to fear me."

"You're reading my mind?" Lizzy asks, knowing it has to be true.

"Yes," he confirms. "I will not kill you. I don't think that even now, even after you've betrayed me so much and had no faith that I could kill Raphael, that I would never end your life. I couldn't if I tried."

Nodding as she takes another few steps forward, Lizzy watches closely to Castiel as he holds the most precious thing her life.

"I would never hurt Samuel either," the angel assures her. "He's your son. You're my child. That makes him my kin. I understand his beauty as a being with so much importance. I just wanted to see him…"

"You don't have that right," Lizzy spills out without thought. "You can't just come in here and force your way into his life. As his parents Dean and I get to choose who he's around. Right now…." She looks over his disastrous state. "You're not well enough to be here. You need help."

"I am God. I need nothing I can't provide for myself," he tells her, looking her hard in the eye as he speaks with boastful confidence.

"It may not look like it now… with all that just happened… but I want you back," Lizzy tries a new, and still honest, angle. "You've always been with me and right now I need you more than I ever did throughout my life… and you are falling apart. And don't lie because I can feel you. I'm linked to you. I felt what it was like to take on all those souls and I know it's too damn much."

She steps forward again, standing next to Castiel as if she didn't fear him at all. Her hand lands on Sammy's head with love and care, reminding Castiel of all he has in his life that is worth getting back on track and giving up the God-powers for.

"We need you," her voice wavers with emotion. "If you don't fix this and get yourself right… we're gonna lose you. Sammy will lose you and he needs your help. We all do. And you know how hard that is for me to say after everything that has happen."

Castiel looks at her with an odd expression, one she can't read.

"And that's what family is," Lizzy sums it up for him. "I told you, Cassie… you're family. You've always been my family. You're the only one left that I've known my whole life. The rest of them are gone. Let me help you now, right now, because you need it whether you think you do or not… and later I'll need you to help him." Lizzy nods at her son. "He's gonna need you more than anyone else. We want to depend on you to keep him safe. Please, Cass. Please listen to me."

God or not, all-powerful or a weakling, Castiel can feel that one. His Elizabeth… how could he have nearly forgotten what they had through the haze of power? He really underestimated her, something he prided himself in previously never doing. And now he wants back in. He wants his family back, the family that includes one very important little boy in need of guidance and protection like no other human ever has.

He opens his mouth to speak but before he can the voices start up again.

_Castiel. We're going to tear you apart._

_"_ Cass?" Lizzy asks to him, seeing the change in demeanor. His body wavers and Lizzy immediately scoops Sammy out of Castiel's hold. The angel trips backwards a little and catches himself against the wall. "What is this?"

Lizzy puts Sammy in his crib to keep sleeping before rushing over to the angel.

"No," Castiel says with a hand out to stop her but she keeps coming at him.

"What's going on…?"

The second she touches him she can feel the attack on him from the inside. Her Nephilim connection allows her to experience firsthand the anguish Castiel is going through.

Lizzy groans with sheer pain as she drops to the floor, the connection still running through her. The clawing, the internal anger of every soul he's taken on, he can hear the voices of something that can be described as nothing short of pure evil.

_Let us out, Castiel. Let us out!_

"Cassie," she pants out in pain from the hardwood below. "You can't live… like this…"

Watching hopelessly Castiel realizes he should never have come here. He should have known she'd be able to feel him and what he's experiencing right now. She always can.

And then Lizzy hears the one thing she never wanted to hear in her life.

_Lizard! Tell him to let us go! Lizzy! Please!_

Everything starts to fade a bit, the voices and the pain receding as she's no longer connected to Castiel. As it dissipates she looks up at him with an all new anger.

"She's  _in_  you!?" Lizzy nearly shouts as she slowly gets to her feet.

Castiel just looks away in shame.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" she screams in his face, no longer afraid of God himself. Her fury won't let her be frightened any more. "Let her go!"

"Elizabeth…"

"NOW!" Lizzy shouts, fists balled as Sammy starts to cry in his crib with the noise. "You let her go right now, Castiel!"

"You need to understand…." Castiel attempts to explain what his plan had been before power corrupted him.

"CASS!"

"I can't do that," Castiel tried to spell out his plan for her. "But soon…"

"Get out!" she yells at him with anger that cannot be matched by her own ire in the past. "Unless you give her back to me right now you get the fuck out of here and never,  _never_ come back!"

Castiel knows she won't listen to anything he has to say, not when Louise Becker is involved, so instead he does the one thing he can think of. He leaves.

When Castiel disappears into thin air instead of give her the one thing she's missed more than anything in her life she just stares at the wall he's been standing against dumbfounded. She heard that voice. It was Lou. It was her sister in there with all the other monster souls Castiel took on. Her Lou is in there.

As Sammy's crying voice finally registers with her she snaps out of the daze and rushes to him.

"Oh, sweetie," Lizzy coos in a calm tone as she reaches into the crib for him. She pulls him into herself and starts pacing the floor as his loud voice bellows into her ear. "It's ok, baby. It's fine. It's ok. Everything's ok." She isn't sure if she's trying to convince her son of that or herself in the moment.

"It's all ok," she starts to cry as she sits into the rocking chair in the room when her legs don't feel like they can support her anymore. "Sammy, it's ok. It's fine." She starts sobbing along with the little boy in her arms. "Everything will be ok…."

* * *

When the three hunters return to their home base after failing miserably they trudge into the house with little to no hope left in any of them. The ride was quiet. No one spoke as they all came to terms with Castiel ending the world with his power trip. They're all just too shocked by it all and by walking away alive after Castiel freed Death.

Entering the kitchen with depression dripping off their dragging forms, Dean drops his bag of weapons and looks around the silent house. Lizzy and Sammy are nowhere to be found.

"L?" Dean calls out and walks through the empty study. Nothing. "Lizzy!"

The house remains silent and that completely unnerves him.

"The hell are they?" Dean mutters to himself as he takes the stairs two at a time, rushing into the nursery.

He finds her there, rocking at a steady pace in the old beat up rocking chair with Sammy asleep with his head on her shoulder. Her eyes are fixed on the ground a few feet in front of her.

"Lizzy," Dean calls out to her from the door way and she doesn't even flinch. She just keeps rocking her son at the very same pace. "Lizzy?"

Dean walks slowly into the room, not looking to scare her with whatever this condition is that she's in. He walks to stand in front of her and her focus never changes. Dean knows shock when he sees it.

Crouching to the floor at her feet Dean grabs her hand that had been pressed to Sammy's back and sandwiches it in his. "L."

Finally, Lizzy's eyes lift to look at him but they're so empty and far off that it unnerves him to see it.

"What happened?" Dean questions her, his voice light and unthreatening. Lizzy just looks at him, her expression changing just enough to see the torment inside her. "Talk to me. What happened here?"

Lizzy bows her head as her face wrinkles in pain and sadness. When the first tear drops fall into her lap Dean gets put into action. He reaches out to take Sammy from her and she just holds him tighter.

"No."

"Baby, lemme just take him for now…"

" _No_." She's not giving her son up to  _anyone_  right now.

"Then you have to explain this," Dean says to her, dropping his hands onto her knees as he keeps his focus on her. She stops rocking and looks him in the eye.

"Cass came," she says simply. "He's alive."

"I know. L, we failed…"

"He's falling apart," she says as her voice falters. "Lou's in him." And she falls into sobs immediately.

Dean stays still, the heartbreaking moment making him unable to find words to say to her.

"I found him in here holding Sammy," she explains, pressing her cheek to her son's head as he sleeps. "He wouldn't give him back at first. He's dying from the inside out and something…  _bad_  is in him. I felt it like it was in me when I was near him. It's evil, truly evil. Pure evil."

Lizzy drops her free hand onto one of Dean's and grabs so tightly it hurts. Dean squeezes back.

"I could hear her," Lizzy cries harder. "I heard her voice asking… she asked me for help. She called me Lizard and told me to get Castiel to let her go. She's in there… baby, she's in there. He won't let her go…."

"I'm sorry," Dean says in a hushed tone as he leans up on his knees and hugs her. She collapses in devastation and clings to him hard, her free arm around his neck as Sammy is held between them. "L, I'm so sorry."

"Why would he do that to her?" Lizzy cries against his neck, desperate for answer. "Why? How? I don't understand."

"I don't know," Dean says helplessly, holding her tight and feeling like this last failure is the one that will truly end the world. Castiel will take it all down, his family included, and he doesn't know how to change it.

* * *

"You want some coffee with that?" Sam asks when he finds Dean alone at the kitchen table, whiskey glass full in his hand and laptop open with some very awkward noises coming from it.

"It's 6:00 p.m. somewhere," Dean answers without looking away from the computer.

"We gotta hit the road," Sam says, knowing time is ticking before Death's second eclipse happens. "I mean, how are we supposed to get Cass to that lab by friggin' 3:59 a.m.?"

"We don't." Dean sucks down some more booze.

"What do you mean we don't?"

"I mean, we can't bring the horse to water and we can't make it drink," Dean grumps. "Why fool ourselves?"

"Dean, look, I know you think that Cass is gone…"

"It's 'cause he is."

"He's not! He's in there somewhere, Dean. I know it."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't," Sam says honestly despite his sliver of hope within him deep down. "But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself and he never gave up on me."

"Yes he did." Dean takes another gulp.

"No he didn't…"

"Sam, he doesn't give a shit about any of us," Dean lets his brother know. "If he did then he wouldn't have sucked Lou's soul in like the rest of the scum from Purgatory."

Sam's face drops as he registers this one. "What?"

"You didn't already think of this as a serious possibility?" he questions with a knowing look sent Sam's way.

"I didn't think he could actually do it…"

"He did," Dean confirms. "And L's all fucked up about it. Apparently Cass came by and she could feel it all. She heard Lou asking for help."

Sam's eyes widen with the news.

"Exactly," Dean says once he sees that reaction. "He doesn't care about us, man. It's over. We can't make God give up his superpowers, we can't save the world this time… it's over, Sam."

Sam stands there as the idea of Lou's soul being trapped inside Castiel settles into his brain. "The hell is he thinking?"

"He's thinking he's God," Dean grumbles, finishing his first glass and pouring another.

"Is this why you're down here alone?"

"Lizzy's going through… something. Over all this," Dean tells Sam. "She's upstairs with Sammy. Won't put him down, won't talk past explaining Cass' uninvited drive by… she's a mess."

"Great," Sam huffs, hating how his family is giving up all around him.

"Yeah and it turns out that you're about the same open book as you've always been," Dean tacks on, mentioning what Death had said. "I mean, really? I got to find out from Death?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"How about not lie? How about tell me that you've got crazy crap climbing those walls?"

"Why?" Sam asks, at a total loss. "You can't help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, and… and I thought… what? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It's under control."

"What?" Dean questions without believing him. "What, exactly, is under control?"

"My… crap." Sam points to his head.

"What crap?"

"I've got it."

"How?"

"I… talked to Lizzy about it," Sam admits that she knew all along and kept it in confidence for him. "And made her promise not to say anything for a few days."

"Sam…"

"She was just giving me some time to figure out how to tell you," Sam explains. "You are… scary, when something's wrong with me. I needed time to figure out what the hell all this is before saying anything."

"You should have told me…"

"Dean, look, we can debate this all you want once we deal with Cass."

"Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal?" Dean starts, his tone angry and hopeless. "I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode…  _because it is_."

"What about Lizzy?"

Dean closes his eyes with stress and lack of options. "I don't know what to do about her. I tried and she's… I've never seen her this hurt. She needs time, I know that… but I got nothing past that."

Standing there, hands on his hips while at a complete loss, Sam watches as Dean goes right back to watching anime porn on his laptop while Lizzy is upstairs losing it.

For once he's the glue that needs to keep everyone together but he has no idea how to do that.

* * *

He tried to talk to Lizzy but not even he could get to her. Dean was right. She needs time. So instead of try fruitlessly anymore he goes a different, completely desperate and pride crushing direction.

Heading out to the Impala, Sam leans against his home on wheels and takes a deep breath.

"Hey, Castiel," he starts his prayer with caution. "Um... maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares anymore, but, um, I still think you're one of us… deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... look, we still have till dawn to stop this. You come to us now and we can end it all and help you. We're willing to help you still. Let us. Please."

Just as he expected he gets no response whatsoever. He waits a good five minute before realizing how right Dean was and heading into the house again. If he's going to be miserable then he's going to love its company.

Walking into the kitchen he stops when he reaches the kitchen table, Dean's face still staring at his Asian cartoon porn as he drinks away the day. Without looking he pours a second, very full glass of whiskey and holds it out to his brother.

"Only if you turn that off," Sam says, pointing to the loud and quite lewd sounds coming from the computer. Dean shuts the laptop and Sam takes a seat.

Together they sit there, ready to watch the world burn, as the each take a sad gulp of booze to soften the blow.

"Sam?" they both hear Castiel's voice say and when they look to the kitchen they see the destroyed angel leaning against the counter, ready to collapse.

"Cass?" Sam returns with, he and Dean both on their feet immediately.

"I heard your call," Castiel tells him, trying to keep it together as much as he can. "I need help."

* * *

"We need the right blood," Castiel explains, sitting on the floor of Crowley's hideout with Sam, Dean, and Bobby in tow. "There's a small jar…" he struggles to get the words out. "End of the hall, s… supply closet."

"Got it," Sam nods and disappears from the room, running to grab everything they need.

"Dean?" Castiel calls out to the man helping him as he struggles not to implode.

"What, you need something else?" Dean coldly asks, not at all ready to forgive the angel for all he's done.

"No. I feel regret, about you… about Elizabeth and what I did to Sam."

"Yeah, well," Dean thinks about the condition of his brother and his wife's shocked breakdown as she sits at home with their son. "You should."

"If there was time, if I was strong enough, I'd… I'd fix him now," Castiel confesses. "I just wanted to make amends before I die."

"Okay." Dean could care less at this point.

"Is it working?"

"Does it make you feel better?"

"No," the angel admits. "You?"

"Not a bit," Dean's unforgiving tone responds.

Dean ignores Castiel for a bit as he sets everything up as they wait for Sam. If he focuses in on the tasks at hand he can hold back his immense anger long enough to get through. Once the souls are back to Purgatory then he can beat the lying, deceiving angel to a pulp if he survives.

Castiel starts to fade a bit and Bobby tries to get him back. "Hang in there," he says, snapping a few times, Cass' eyes opening wide. "Just a couple of minutes." He then looks to his watch and then to Dean. "Where's Sam? It's go time."

It's then that he realizes Sam's been gone for a while. "Sam?!" he should to the doorway his brother left down. No response. "Damn it."

He flees the room, running to find Sam wherever he might have gone. Halfway down the hall he finds the jar of blood sitting on the floor alone, no hunter even near it.

"Son of a bitch," Dean mutters, knowing Sam went off the rails with Cage hallucinations. It's the only way he wouldn't be there right now. He scoops up the jar quickly and bolts back to the main room. Purgatory soul return now. Sam finding later.

"Where's Sam?" Bobby asks when Dean returns alone.

"Hell surfing," Dean says quickly as he hands over the jar. "Let's just do this. We'll go after Cuckoo's Nest later."

Moving quickly with time running out, Bobby starts to put the spell together, painting the large sigil on the wall.

"That's good enough," Bobby announces when the messy symbol is done well enough in a rush. "Okay, step right up, Cass."

Bobby and Dean lift Castiel up onto his feet and walk him over to the wall. Once in front of the sigil they let him go and back up. Bobby starts reading the spell.

"Lanua magna purgatorii, clausa est ob nos lumine eius ab oculis nostris retento sed nunc stamus ad limen huius ianuae magnae et demisse fideliter perhonorifice paramus aperire eam."

Castiel stumbles and Dean rushes over, steadying him before backing up again.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Castiel says his final peace over his shoulder. "Tell Elizabeth I'm sorry."

Dean just nods once as Bobby continues.

"Creaturae terrificae quarum ungulae et dentes nunquam tetigerunt carnem eius ad mundum nostrum nunc ianua magna, aperta tandem."

The sigil bursts with light as a portal opens up. The bright light of the souls exiting Castiel's body make the two men shield their eyes, the sheer force making the wind in the room pick up. After minutes a bright flash fills the room and explodes.

Once it's over Dean and Bobby open their eyes to find Castiel unmoving on the floor.

"Cass!?" Dean shouts as he rushes to him, dropping to the floor to check on him.

"He's cold," announces Bobby as he feels the angel's head.

"Is he breathing?"

"No."

"Maybe angels don't need to breathe."

Bobby just breaks the news and doesn't sugar coat it. "He's gone, Dean."

Dean pushes out a breath of disbelief. He got so used to Castiel being there that he never let himself accept mentally that the damn guy could actually die one day, not even after all the mistakes he's made. "Damn it. Cass, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?"

Before their eyes Castiel starts to heal himself. His boils and deteriorating skin clear up and the color comes back to his face. Soon enough his eyes are opening, the bright blue color as bright as ever.

"Cass?!" Dean shouts with shock and surprising relief. "Hey! Hey! Okay. Alright." He helps the angel sit up slowly.

"That was unpleasant," the angel tells them.

"Let's get him up," Dean says to Bobby as the grab his arms and lift him to his feet. "Easy, there."

"I'm alive."

"Looks like," Bobby responds.

"I'm astonished," Castiel says to them. He then takes a moment to humble himself. "Thank you, both of you."

"We were mostly... just trying to save the world," Bobby half-jokes back.

"I'm ashamed," Castiel confesses. "I really overreached."

"You think?" Dean caustically returns, not willing to make light of all that Castiel just did.

"I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you," he says specifically to Dean. "I'm just happy I could at least redeem myself with Elizabeth."

"What do you mean?" Dean questions, not seeing what the angel did for his wife that was so worthy of redemption.

"Where is she?" Castiel says, eyes roaming the room.

"L's back at Bobby's house…"

"Not Elizabeth," Castiel clarifies. "Lou. Where is she?"

Dean and Bobby simply stare at the angel with sheer confusion.

"You just sent her unfortunate ass back into Purgatory," Bobby answers.

"No, I didn't," Castiel says, breaking free of the hold Dean and Bobby still had on his arms. "I kept trying to explain to Elizabeth that I had a plan concerning her sister. She just wouldn't listen… guess that's just who she is. Stubborn from the day she was born."

"What plan?" Dean asks with anger as he's failing to understand anything the angel is blabbering about.

Just then they hear some movement in the corner of the room followed by a hushed gasp. All three stare at the overturned metal table blocking their view of whatever made that noise. Someone or something is behind it.

"My plan to return her sister to her," Castiel says, peering at the direction the sound came from. "I am giving Louise back to her."

* * *

_**THE END** _

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment on what you've read. Good or bad, I appreciate it and I will always respond to you.


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